To wonder why I bother

[WindyHail]

I know I'm unreasonable. Last year took my then 3 year old to see dinosaurs show. He cried and we left. I felt he was too young. He always goes on about dinosaurs so with him being older I took him again today. Same issue. I tried everything as did the lovely man running the show but we left. 25 quid down the drain. He's at home and happier watching TV. I have sold tickets for a show in a few weeks that's similar because there's no point.

Sounds like he gets overwhelmed. Are the things really big or very loud?

Yeah he didn't like it. Now I feel bad.

I feel bad I was frustrated over wasted time and money.

Arghh, it’s so frustrating isn’t it? but children obviously just don’t know or understand the concept of money. We spend money, we want them to enjoy themselves and it’s such a disappointment when they don’t. The day will come though keep trying.

Hey, don't feel bad. Kids are unpredictable. He could equally have loved every second.
Maybe get him some more nice dinosaur toys and DVDs. Or Dino finger puppets so you can put on a little show for him.

He loves everything dinosaurs at home. I've sold the tickets to the theatre. I can't waste nearly 40quid for him to not enjoy it

My son was like this as a preschooler with the cinema. Desperate to see Cars, Cars 2, Planes…each time could not even be persuaded to go into the theatre.

He then went through a phase 5-6 when he would happily go on the cinema but got so emotionally invested he would cry for about an hour afterwards empathising with one character or another. Inside Out was the worst - why did Joy give up the controls to Sadness? How could she?! Led to a conversation about grief and letting go and the need to sometimes let sadness overwhelm you before you can hope to feel happy again. Not a conversation I expected to have with a five year old.

He’s 11 now and absolutely fine but he is very emotionally intelligent and empathetic and sensitive.

His dad doesn't take him much further then his grandads when he has him so I like to get him out

It's all on me

You sound like it's really getting on top of you. I'm sorry.

You don't have to splash out for him to have fun. There's lots of things you can do with him that are free or cost very little.

Oh don’t be feeling bad or giving yourself a hard time. You’re a lovely lovely mum for paying attention to his interested and for actively being tuned in to his wants and needs.
You had a go, it didn’t work out, you’ve learned from it.
Honestly we’ve all done similar things when ours were small, it’s all just a learning curve!
You’re home now and he’s happy, you’ll laugh about this one day when he’s a stroppy teen and moans that you ‘never do anything fun’ with him!
Ps, when I say you’ll laugh, you’ll probably be really mad when he says it and want to bring it up maybe when he’s 30 you’ll laugh…

*interests

Remember if he plays with dinosaurs at home he imagines them to be that size- a lifesize version would be very frightening.

I understand your frustration. My DS was really scared of so many things. He hid behind the seat when I took him to see Beauty and the Beast at the cinema, screamed at Father Christmas and refused to go on lots of the rides at Disney. But he was, by the age of about 6 very confident in his decision to say no.

By about 9 he transformed into a totally secure, confident child and has never looked back.

Just for now try to manage your expectations and just do the simple things. It’s not a question of not bothering, just accepting he’s not ready yet. He’s very little.

My daughter wanted to see an exhibition of works by Dali and Picasso, as she’d been taught about it school. Took her and she started crying a third of the way in, as it was too weird for her - she was 10 🤣 You live and you learn.

@BrambleRoses

Arghh, it’s so frustrating isn’t it? but children obviously just don’t know or understand the concept of money. We spend money, we want them to enjoy themselves and it’s such a disappointment when they don’t. The day will come though keep trying.

Maybe young children, (and some adults) don't need to spend money to enjoy themeslves. Sometimes children and adults are happy to enjoy the small free things in life.

Probably easier just going to the local park, woods etc for now, my youngest was the same, he liked his little bike and scooter at that age, but could be hard work on a day out. I think sometimes we try too hard as parents and it backfires.

Yeah I over compensate as his dad does nothing.

Save the money for when he's a bit bigger days out at that age although lovely and you want to give them experiences it can be overwhelming! Enjoy the cheaper/ free times it's the quality times that also make memories =) you tried you'll try again for now have a snuggle with his programmes

If the things are too big and noisy for him, try some trips out. Jump on a bus or take a train journey. Even better if it can be a steam train. Make it fun. The journey being the outing not the destination. Build it up for him.

Big days out are a lot of pressure. I also feel like things are finally back to normal, but young ones may not remember much pre-lockdowns, and large crowds may be overwhelming or even frightening. I know primary teachers who have said this academic year's reception cohort have been the most unsettled they've ever seen. Their worlds were really small for a huge chunk of their lives.

That's true about them not being used to socialising. He went to nursery through lockdown due to my job.