to take up to a week off sick?

[LazyMareofEastown]

Long story short, had a medical termination in Jan (right off the back of having covid which knocked me completely on my ass). Became really unwell last week, turns out I have retained products/low level infection. Am taking antibiotics and codeine.

I have an inherent inability to take time off even when it's merited. It comes from my childhood when you went to school even if you were genuinely ill. I get super anxious and feel like I'm letting my colleague (small team) down and usually just go to work even when poorly. I went in on Friday morning and my practice manager sent me home after I burst into tears on her.

I still have physical symptoms (although they are improving) and my mental health is shot. GP has advised taking some time off to recover.

Fwiw my job is NHS, not clinical but have my own caseload of patients who I feel I'm letting down by being off.

AIBU?

You shouldn’t be working when you are so poorly. You need to prioritise yourself. As nice as it is to think about your patients - would you even be able to care for them properly when you’re not feeling your best? And with the mental health aspect you’re very much in danger of burning out.

Take the time off. Don’t be a martyr and make yourself more unwell. If you try push through you might make yourself more poorly in the long run and need even more time off to recover - absolutely nobody benefits from pushing through, especially you.

Thanks Sparkle.

I know you're right. My job is super stressful (and low paid - great combo!) to the point that I ended up starting sertraline last year. It didn't work for me due to side effects and I'm off it again now but I have definitely been close to burnout before now.

I think I feel that I'm not legitimately "sick" as I chose to have the termination so it's not like an actual real illness. I do recognise that this is probably quite a warped viewpoint though.

Doesn't sound like you'd be functioning at full capacity if you were working - and not resting properly is likely to make getting to full recovery take even longer.
follow your GPs advice - I went back to work too soon last year after covid, ended up taking a further week off anyway - and it took months before I felt properly OK, and that was without any of the gynae issues, and any need for time to process the termination.

As someone who also never takes time off, I understand where you’re coming from, but please book the time off to get physically and mentally well. If you rush back before your body and your mind are ready you’ll only be storing up worse problems later. Get some rest and go back to work only when you’re genuinely well enough to.

Your priority is you, not work. How can you help others if you’re not looking after yourself.

It sounds like you’ve had a heck of a time and I’m so sorry, I hope that you can take the time you put yourself first, recover and when you do get back to work you’re in a better place. No one else will put you first so you need to do it yourself. Take care op and take as long as you need

Agree with PPs, take time off, OP. To be honest, a week may not even be long enough. Hope it is though and you feel fighting fit at the end of it. If you still feel unwell, get in touch with your GP again.

This happened to me. Ended up in hospital for a couple of nights with an infection, then straight back to work. I don’t know why I didn’t think I could have time off. My work would have been absolutely fine. I pushed on and got made redundant a few months later and went into a total spiral, because I just hadn’t stopped to take a breath at any point. Please look after yourself.

Oh Didius that's shit, I'm sorry you went through that 💐💜

Thanks for all your advice. I will speak to my colleague and my manager today. I haven't actually been given a fit note as can self-certify for the first week. Have never been off for more than 2 consecutive days in my entire life so this is all new to me.

My PM said I needed to prioritise my health over my patients - everyone else (DP, my mum, my ex) had already been saying the same but I needed to hear it from an authority figure before I took it seriously. A psychiatrist would have a field day with me.

I never feel guilty taking sick time....if you too ill to work then you don’t 🤷 ( of course I understand that some people don’t get sick leave so would be left with no choice....but you,,,like me are NHS ....so no issues)

Would love to know why the people who have voted YABU think I'm being unreasonable?

For considering not taking time off when I should? For considering taking time off when I should? Or for having a tx in the first place?

probably think that you're being unreasonable in questioning whether to prioritise your health over your work?

It’s really hard to break out of a pattern you’ve always had for so long, realigning our thinking feels wrong when we’ve always done something a certain way or felt a certain way. Clearly your approach to taking time off work is ingrained and it’s tough to break out of that, but really important for taking care of yourself. People are vulnerable and not immune to everything- we all get sick, even the ‘healthiest’ people, and we all need downtime. Don’t think of it as a failing, but a necessary step to getting back to feeling your best

It’s difficult to vote as it’s not clear what your voting options are.

Just take the time off. No need to be a hero. Hope you feel better soon.

"It’s difficult to vote as it’s not clear what your voting options are."

The title of my thread is "Am I being unreasonable to take up to a week off work?"
I literally don't see how I could've made it any clearer 🤣.

Am not trying to be a martyr or a hero. As Sparkle has pointed out, my attitude to sickness and work is lifelong and ingrained and the circumstances of my illness make me even less able to allow myself to be unwell than when I had covid for eg. Even then I worked from home when I shouldn't have🤦🏻‍♀️

If you don't rest and get better now you may end up having to take a lot longer off in the future when your health fails you entirely. I know it's hard but take the time you so desperately need and make sure you are fighting fit when you return. Everyone around you - family, friends, work colleagues - would be so worried about you if they found out you were even having to question this I bet!

Rest, get well x

Follow your GPs advice. Hope you are better soon.

Your priority now is you and your health. You been through a lot health wise in the past few months and your body needs rest to recover both physically and mentally. If you need a few weeks off to feel physically and mentally better take this time because if you continue as you are your just going to end up worse off.

You're unreasonable to say up to a week, because that suggests you'll try to get back earlier.

Tell yourself and work that you'll be off for the full week.

@LazyMareofEastown

Thanks Sparkle.

I know you're right. My job is super stressful (and low paid - great combo!) to the point that I ended up starting sertraline last year. It didn't work for me due to side effects and I'm off it again now but I have definitely been close to burnout before now.

I think I feel that I'm not legitimately "sick" as I chose to have the termination so it's not like an actual real illness. I do recognise that this is probably quite a warped viewpoint though.

Warped doesn't begin to cover it. You've got an infection following surgery. An infection.

Doesn't matter what led to that infection, you have an infection.

Take the bloody week off. And the rest of the month if you need to for dealing with the infection, post Covid and/or/all of the above plus your mental health.

Listen to your doctor

Rest and get better

I spoke to my PM this afternoon and she's told me to take as long as I need. Feel very relieved and like I can now just focus on resting and recovering.

Thanks everyone 💐

Good. Get well soon