Do I have a right to be annoyed?!

[danco]

Me and my OH have 3 children between us, we both have 7 year old girls from previous relationships and we have a 10 month old daughter together. He sees his eldest daughter every weekend when she comes to our house and once through the week on their own when they go for tea somewhere or to the park for an hour. He sees our daughter at weekends aswell and about 10 mins each night before she goes to bed. My issue is he just doesn't seem as interested in our youngest, I understand she's young but he never gives her much interaction, always sat on his phone, he will never offer to bath or feed her unless I ask however when his eldest is here he is constantly playing with her, doing all of her meals, bathing her etc. do I have a right to feel annoyed? I understand his eldest doesn't live with us and he's enjoying his time with her whilst she's here but he barely sees our youngest either due to him coming in from work late. Should I speak to him and risk the row or keep my thoughts to myself? sorry for the rant! TIA!

It’s understandable that this irritates you, but it’s worth putting into perspective. It doesn’t mean your DH doesn’t love your baby as much as his older dd. He will likely be in ‘super parent’ mode for the limited amount of time his dd is around because of the normal guilt he will feel at not living with her, and older children are easier to interact with than babies anyway.

You just need to get him to pull his weight with bed/bath time.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Definitely work the chat at least. Perhaps If you frame it like "you're so wonderful with your (older) daughter I'd love to see more of that with our baby" it could go down easier?

I do think it's harder for men to relate and interact with young babies but that doesn't mean they shouldn't put in the effort.

Maybe he doesn't realise he's not bonding with her enough because he's just around all the time, so it's def worthwhile to talk about it.

Hope it doesn't end up in a row! Good luck

An awful lot of people aren't really baby people. They love their babies but don't have much idea what to do with them. They'll do the basics but 'play' isn't something they connect with children too young to walk and talk.

My inlaws are clueless with babies and were only interested once the children were 2 or 3. Some of my friends are similar.

Bet he is resentful that dd has him all week and pfb doesn't. Df guilt op.
He need to realise he needs to put the effort in or only 1 dd is going to have a great relationship with him

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Should I speak to him and risk the row

Why would it risk a row?
Does he not take well to being challenged or questioned?