Not answering friends phone calls ...

[pippapappa]

My friend is driving me bat shit.
She has been with her boyfriend for 4 years ...she has 2 kids with from a previous relationship and he also has 2 kids.
He has told her he doesn't think they will ever live together as they have too many kids (and she is okay with that apparently)
They argue all the time.
She rings me every day complaining about him.
Saying she doesn't love him,he drives her mad,she doesn't fancy him etc etc then nothing changes.

Yesterday she rang me for a hour.
Saying she was going to tell him not to go over,she wants to break up etc etc
Saying she hasn't got time for a bf
Saying he wanted to get drunk on the night but she didn't want too..
Then 3 hours later she's posting pics on fb of him and her (that night )
"Me and my man"
Then sending me selfies of them both and videos (she's drunk )

It just feels like she's wasting my time.
Complains about him,asks for advice,I give it to her then back to square one.

I don't understand she doesn't love him etc etc but posting all the crap to Facebook

She's rang me twice already this morning (he will of gone home)
I haven't answered ..she will be moaning about him and I honestly can't be bothered.

Aibu ?

YANBU. As if you needed to ask?

YANBU you probably need to ask her to stop burdening you with sensitive and confidential stuff about him if she is not going to act on it.

Very tedious and self indulgent.

Oh I’ve had this for nearly 5 years with my mate and it’s exhausting. In the end I said change it or shut up, I’ve told you all I can tell you, it’s the same story, if you accept how the relationship is (he’s not abusive) and tell him you’re happy, then actually DO accept it and stop moaning, you can only change yourself not someone else blah blah blah.

I imagine its still the same but I just don’t hear about if these days

Honestly it's driving me mad.
It's like she's putting a show on for social media Or scared to be alone but it's all a facade.
I know it's awful to say but it's boring me now

You need to tell her. I would be honest and say you are confused by the cycle of moaning and social media posts and you feel it would be best all round if she didn't take you on the ride too.

@pippapappa

Honestly it's driving me mad. It's like she's putting a show on for social media Or scared to be alone but it's all a facade. I know it's awful to say but it's boring me now

It's not awful at all OP, & in fact it's precisely what you ought to say to your drama queen friend.

I have a friend like this too. I have listened to her and given advice to her for over a year. Been there for her. But I have learnt over time she doesn't really want advice, she wants me to agree with her. She just wants to follow what she wants to do regardless of what you say.

She's met a new guy and she knows it's not good. Every time I see her it's all she talks about, we could be talking about something completely unrelated and she will manage to get his name in. Every time she says it's not right, I am going to split up with him but doesn't.

It's hard as I want to be a good friend and don't want her to feel I am not there for her but I have had my own issues and she knows nothing about them and doesn't ask. I'm bored of listening to the same thing again and again. We are on our early 40s and it's like we are in our 20s again. How long should I wait to message back? He said this, does he like me.

I have let the friendship drift a little and do still see her but not as often. She has stopped messaging me about it now too. Taken the hint. Can you do that?