I mentioned this friend on a thread on the Relationships board recently (it was on a story about ghosting, I think) to highlight how she was being played with in a similar way to that OP. I've seen this friend tonight and come home with a slightly sick feeling. In a nutshell, she struck up an online relationship with this man in August, but they've never met yet. He's been giving her all kinds of excuses and she's been challenging that but he says "you know how it is" (referring to the 'reasons'). I've told her he's playing her for a fool. They've never met, but he keeps talking about other women, she gets jealous and upset and he blocks her, then unblocks her and contacts her again a few days later after she's sobbed herself to sleep night after night. Just stringing it out. It's quite frankly ridiculous.
I don't even bring him up, but she did this evening and said she'd told him I'm her best friend and she talks to me a lot. He said "Do you like Saffron?" so she said of course she did, we were friends going back many years. "No, I mean do you LIKE Saffron?" He asked if we had ever had a lesbian relationship, and if not, if we would, and could she a) film it and send it him or b) could he come and watch.
Whilst I'm there getting more goggle eyed, she told me he'd said "Saffron sounds really nice, will she be my friend on Facebook and can I have her number?" She even told him where I work, but says she has not given him my surname. Even so, I would be easy to find. I am furious. I was concerned that she had sent him pictures of me but she says she hasn't and wouldn't.
I told her to tell him to go to hell. This appalled me; I wouldn't be in that kind of situation with a man in the first place, but the moment a male "friend" of mine said disrespectful things about one of my oldest friends, he'd be cancelled.
She then told me about him going to a workingmen's club twice a week and on one one particular evening this friend of his comes in with his wife - who he referred to as Dragon. He told my friend that "Dragon's tits come in the door before she does" and that she wears low cleavage tops and dresses to flaunt her assets. He told her that he is a "boob man" and he'd like to bury his face in them. I told her that was completely unacceptable and she said she knew, and it upset her because she thought he preferred Dragon to her!!!! No, I said it is unacceptable because he is objectifying women and he is a tosser. I can't believe she missed the point so terribly.
Anyway, long story to set the scene, but how the hell do I deal with this? I've never had a conversation like this with anyone and I'm shocked. Not for prudish reasons, but for the whole level of disrespect.
They've never even met, they've spoken on the phone and Messenger, and only shared photos of each other. Not even Zoom. I'm shocked that she would potentially damage a lifelong friendship for the sake of some perverted nutcase on Facebook.
Thoughts? Comments? Thanks.