I should state, I normally get on very well with my MIL but I'm in a bad mood and have had a really stressful day so I don't know whether IABU or not.There's a lot of context to this so sorry if it's long.
My DW is pregnant with our second. She has awful, awful hyperemesis - cannot eat or drink, cannot walk, cannot go anywhere or do anything. She's desperately unwell. She hasn't been to work since before Christmas, she's sick even if she just sits up. Yesterday, going to bed, she was sick (in a bowl) on the bottom step, when she reached half-way, and at the top - so very, very sick. She's on a whole bunch of medications and regularly has to go to the hospital for IV (at minimum once per week). We also have a toddler and I work full-time (so does DW when not sick).
A few weeks ago, MIL asked DW if we could watch her dog while she goes on holiday and DW agreed. DW struggles to say no to MIL. DW is very determined and headstrong, she's incredibly capable but, growing up, MIL never acknowledged her achievements or really paid attention to her in general. DW always feels she needs to prove herself to MIL and (she said to me when we discussed it this evening) DW thinks that saying no would look like admitting that she's not coping with life and that MIL would view her as a failure. MIL would probably be devastated to know DW feels this way as she genuinely believes she's supportive and loving, but she had a really tough upbringing herself with an absent yet judgemental mother and has continued a lot of that. MIL means well but, to be frank, this annoyed me because we recently asked for MIL to watch DS for a few hours because I needed a break (working full-time, watching DS, looking after DW, having to do 100% of the household stuff and had other commitments too) and, after initially agreeing, she backed out saying she's too busy (she works two days per week). She's also completely unsupportive of DW being ill and has told her many times it's just psychological and she should just overcome it.
MIL lives a few hours away from us, in the Red Zone for the storm. Yesterday, her fences were destroyed in the storm (well, technically the neighbour's fence but it means MIL's garden is no longer dog secure). Today, DW needed to go to the hospital for more IV treatment, her ketones were +4 on arrival. The hospital was a bit of a disaster (that's whole different thread). I had to spend the whole day (without a base because we don't live near the hospital and nor does MIL) with a toddler and the dog (I couldn't go into the hospital with them and couldn't leave the dog at home because of the unsecured fence). So, the day was very stressful because issues at the hospital meant I spent 12 hours with a toddler and dog, with almost nowhere to go in stormy weather (the appointment should've taken two hours). Credit to DS, he was an angel all day.
We just got back to MIL's house and discovered a camera filming us in a communal area of the house (not a bedroom or bathroom). It's at head height and so the dog wouldn't be visible, so definitely to watch us and not the dog. The camera is definitely not usually there. DW is especially upset because a) she's been walking around in her pants and vomiting and b) we have no idea if there are any more cameras. I do appreciate she has a right to have a camera and it's inside her own house. I also know I've had a shitty day so not sure if I'm being reasonable.
Thoughts?