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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me decide

38 replies

abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 22:10

To have our wedding on a Saturday or Sunday.

We have provisionally booked a Saturday but have found a fantastic band that has sax that are only available on the Sunday. The Sunday is also £10 cheaper per head (£125) which would mean that there would be the budget to offer people a choice of two starters, mains and deserts for an additional £5 ph. I'm really torn wether to go for the better band and choice for guest meals over day. It would mean our guests would have to likely request a Monday off. I work shift work so am used to having to use holidays or requests for days off but a lot work Mon-fri 9-5 and won't want to use holidays.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
JammyRascal · 19/02/2022 22:15

Saturday. There's no point having a great band, and making the change for them, if people don't want to stay late to listen to them.

There are so many wedding bands out there, so honestly I wouldn't even consider changing.

Original poster
abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 22:18

@JammyRascal thank you! The location is such that people would either come or wouldn't, there wouldn't be much of an option to leave early as it is an hour each way for both of our families/guests. I would really like to offer people a choice menu rather than a set, which the Sunday would allow for but I would be disappointed if my guests couldn't come because it was a Sunday.

OP posts:
MizzFizz · 19/02/2022 22:21

Saturday.... Taking a day off is a big commitment and some people will be annoyed, regardless of the great band/extra menu options. Make it easy for people to come and enjoy your wedding by making it on a Saturday.

SQLserved · 19/02/2022 22:22

How far do your guests need to travel and what are your timings? Are you inviting many parents and will you be marrying in the school holidays?

I would struggle with a Sunday wedding if I needed to travel for it because I would need to book time off work on the Monday, but if local then less of an issue. I wouldn’t stay as late in the evening on a school night either.

If I was you, I probably wouldn’t do a Sunday wedding and as a guest would prefer a lighter meal over compromising work.

However, if this band will make a difference to your enjoyment of your wedding day and you don’t mind compromising on guests being able to attend then you should do it.

Chestofdraws · 19/02/2022 22:22

Saturday, otherwise folks need to take a day off.

mamaduckbone · 19/02/2022 22:23

Saturday for sure - stuff the choices of food etc., I don't want to have to get up for work in the morning. (Don't underestimate the number of people who can't get the Monday off)

RuthW · 19/02/2022 22:25

Sunday - your wedding. Up to the guests whether they want to share the day with you

JammyRascal · 19/02/2022 22:28

[quote abeanbaked]@JammyRascal thank you! The location is such that people would either come or wouldn't, there wouldn't be much of an option to leave early as it is an hour each way for both of our families/guests. I would really like to offer people a choice menu rather than a set, which the Sunday would allow for but I would be disappointed if my guests couldn't come because it was a Sunday.[/quote]
Normally I'm massively in the "your wedding, your rules" thing, but I just think it sounds like you know already this will probably stop people coming if it's a Sunday, so there's no point.

Most weddings I've been to it's been a set menu, and it's never ever been an issue for me. Just happy to be fed!!

Ultimately it's up to you, but in my eyes, the more the merrier :-)

Grumpsy · 19/02/2022 22:28

Personally I’d go with Sunday, the people who want to be there will take the day off. But this is from someone who got married mid week

AlmostAJillSandwich · 19/02/2022 22:29

Saturday, if it's a long journey, there won't be places for guests to take bathroom breaks on the way on Sunday due to shorter opening hours. Also as said, if they're working the next day, many would leave early or not come at all to a Sunday wedding.

OwlinaTree · 19/02/2022 22:29

I'd have to leave early as I wouldn't be able to take Monday off work (work in a school).

Also people with children may need to go early as it is hard to get a day off school authorised now.

I think you could end up with quite a small reception for the dancing to the band part of the evening.

Theyellowflamingo · 19/02/2022 22:29

Unless you were my immediate family I’d leave early on a Sunday, even if I had to drive an hour. I’d still come but I wouldn’t take a day off. Every Sunday wedding I’ve been to has had people drifting off from after dinner onwards and been wound up by 10pm as people have work the next day. The evening atmosphere isn’t nearly the same. In some cases the early finish was been half the attraction of picking that day! But if you’re hoping for a late night and a good party, go for Saturday.

Original poster
abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 22:29

We had thought initially about getting married in a Wednesday in February, which is why a Sunday with a great band (I fucking love the sax) and a 2,2,2 choice sounds like a better deal but I'm scared guests won't be able to come (which would make it shit as I wouldn't have people to share the great band with!)

OP posts:
ohhooh · 19/02/2022 22:30

I'd rather have a set menu and no choice, than have to take annual leave!

I've had to take two days this year for one wedding, I love the couple and want to be there for them - but it's breaking my heart using annual leave!

OwlinaTree · 19/02/2022 22:31

I don't understand your comment about leaving early not being an option because it's an hour away?

Original poster
abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 22:32

@OwlinaTree

I don't understand your comment about leaving early not being an option because it's an hour away?
It is an option, sorry. Just not a very convenient/great one.
OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 19/02/2022 22:35

Could you sound out those closet to you? Those who you would be most upset if the couldn't come? ( and I don't necessarily mean family)

autienotnaughty · 19/02/2022 22:37

I'd go Sunday. Friday/Sunday weddings are quite common now due to cost. I'd happily book a day off for a close friend/family members wedding.

Original poster
abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 22:41

Also, any MNI'ers done Sunday weddings and found the fee for florists/hair and make up increasing? I would assume that they would charge more on a Sunday, I get paid time and 60% on a Sunday, can't see them working an extra day for the same rate as their normal hours.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 19/02/2022 22:48

Saturday.

People just won’t stay late on a Sunday so the sax will be wasted. And you don’t need food options (other than a veggie one, and you can pre-plan that)

Original poster
abeanbaked · 19/02/2022 23:02

😬

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 19/02/2022 23:10

Saturday. Unless you can do Sunday before a Bank Holiday.

Ponoka7 · 19/02/2022 23:17

Are your guests the type that would want their hair done on the morning of your wedding? That would put me off a Sunday wedding. Do any have to get children to school? Saturday is usually the better day.

wispalove · 19/02/2022 23:18

The last 2 weddings I've been to have been a Sunday and a Thursday, both very big weddings. No one left early cause it was a work day! The next wedding we are going to is on a Friday and the one after a Sunday. The only issue I have with the Sunday is I like to go get my hair and makeup done and where I am all the hairdressers are shut. It's much more common now for people to work Saturdays and I find it's harder to get a Saturday off work than other days.

mjf981 · 19/02/2022 23:19

Saturday. But I'm shocked at how much it costs per person!! 125?! Who can afford that? Am I out of touch?