Ex

[Mummyto4beautys]

Hi, all my ex partner took me to court last year to be able to see our kids (left due to DV) he refused to agree to see the children in a contact center for 3 months due to him having to pay, they said he can't have any contact if it's not going to lead to anything,it then got dismissed. He's been sending presents for the kids well mainly the eldest, he's sending them to my mum's address because I've moved and I don't want him to know where. Would you accept these presents or send them back?

Me, I’d bin them. Or give them to a charity shop. Don’t send them back, that might just escalate things. If he can’t be bothered with a contact centre this is just a lazy way of trying to get contact with them.

I'd accept them and not say where they came from.

The toys are fault free - let the kids enjoy them

It's not toys he's sending it's clothes.

Do they need clothes or are you coping ok without them? Does he pay child maintenance? Will the children notice if only the eldest gets clothes?

Nope they've got enough. He isn't even sending little one anything, just our little boy. No he doesn't pay child maintenance and our little girl doesn't know him, I left a month after her first birthday.

Definitely charity shop then!

Can you claim maintenance? Or would you rather not encourage him to attempt Contact?

Id just out them in their wardrobes. No need for them to know where they came from

Make use of the clothes I guess if you can. They dont need to know where they come from (obviously u less they are sloganned I love my Daddy or something). Assuming he wont see them in them or someone else who might photograph the kids and send the on... if you are concerned however as your mu to bin/ charity shop. A few clothes are not worth the hassle.

Ask you mum to bin...

I tried to apply for child maintenance but I don't want him to think I'm struggling and that he's going to get to see them, he sent me a email before Christmas saying that he's going to apply to courts again to see them.

@Mummyto4beautys, child maintenance and contact are two completely separate things.

I know but I haven't spoken to him for months and he will think if I put a claim in for maintenance that he might think he's got a chance in seeing them.

Sell them?

@HappyGoLuckyLuLu

Sell them?

I could do but I'd feel bad lol

Sell them and put the money aside for treats for the children

@StoneofDestiny

Sell them and put the money aside for treats for the children

Could do it's not like he's getting our son cheap stuff either not long ago he got him a £60 top which is ridiculous.