Have a friend who is really a lovely person, educated, has a steady well paid job, kids, nice DH, nice house, car, comfy money and all that. Every time her ILs visit them though, she gets really paranoid- bad experiences in the past with them lying about her/ bitching to her DH behind her back causing trouble between them (story of my life too!). She confessed to me the other day that she tends to often eavesdrop on their conversations so that she can mentally prepare herself for impending stormy weather. I was shocked but didn't know how to respond...I wondered advising her not to as I felt she would just be adding to her anxieties by listening in- after all, all that time and energy spent on something so petty..and then worrying about it in case it flares up into an argument; after all it might not! So not sure if it somehow helps her. Really don't know what to say to her- I think she confided in me as somewhere deep inside she's not sure if this is a good idea or not. What should I say to her!