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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not split a referral voucher?

20 replies

rosebythesea · 19/02/2022 15:18

Last summer, I recommended a mortgage broker to my brother who’s in his late 30s. He went ahead and they sent me a £50 voucher for the referral. I called him to say thank you and he started “joking” that I should split the voucher with him. I only realised he wasn’t joking when he hung up on me and we haven’t spoken since.

I honestly had no idea he was being serious, so it really stung when he hung up and the penny finally dropped. If he’d asked me outright, I probably would have given him half to avoid any friction.

AIBU? Should referral gifts be shared between both parties? It's never occurred to me to share a referral gift before, or ask a friend or family member for half.

It’s sort of relevant that he saved +£500 going with my broker. The company he was using were going to charge him a fee. He actually told them he was going with someone else because of this fee and because his sister was going to get a referral gift.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
EnjoyingTheSilence · 19/02/2022 15:20

Ask him if he’s splitting the £500 saving with you?

lucillelarusso · 19/02/2022 15:21

what a twat your brother is

billy1966 · 19/02/2022 15:23

What a twat.

Enjoy the peace.

Flowers
Cherrysherbet · 19/02/2022 15:23

Very odd

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/02/2022 15:26

I'd normally share a referral gift with someone, just as people have shared them with me but I wouldn't if the person was demanding about it or rude. I certainly wouldn't expect someone to share a referral gift but my friends and I usually volunteer to.

Eightiesfan · 19/02/2022 15:39

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Ask him if he’s splitting the £500 saving with you?
This!
SW1amp · 19/02/2022 15:43

If he is the sort of person prepared to cut you out of his life over £25, I think you’re better off without him around, so I would see it as a lucky escape

BobHadBitchTits · 19/02/2022 15:47

If it had been a couple of £100 maybe.

All this over £25? Pathetic.

drpet49 · 19/02/2022 15:56

I really don’t see why you rang him to say thank you. Weird

Original poster
rosebythesea · 19/02/2022 16:14

Thank you all for your replies 💗

OP posts:
ouch321 · 19/02/2022 16:17

Well it's odd that you were trying to make money off him so I see why he's niggled.

HeckyPeck · 19/02/2022 16:17

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Ask him if he’s splitting the £500 saving with you?
Exactly!

He's being a dick head

Original poster
rosebythesea · 19/02/2022 16:22

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Ask him if he’s splitting the £500 saving with you?
😂👏
OP posts:
hellithurt · 19/02/2022 16:33

He's being a dick and all for £25!

Totalwasteofpaper · 19/02/2022 16:37

For £25?
I could not get excited about this. At all.

I split a referral fee with someone i recommended for a job but that was £2k pre tax....ifave her above 500 as I cleared just over a grand

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/02/2022 16:49

It's a bit of an odd one.

I suppose, in theory, the referral fee is an incentive to refer somebody whom you wouldn't otherwise have bothered tipping off if there wasn't anything in it for you. The idea is that, if you would have told them anyway, without a bunce, because they're family or a good friend and you wanted them to benefit, it's money out of nowhere, hence you split the good fortune.

I would have been inclined to offer him half, until the point at which he basically demanded it. It's always the privilege of the recipient to offer/insist on sharing it and not the one being referred, who has presumably already benefited from being put on to a better deal.

As he has pretty much demanded half of it, I think the above suggestion of 'demanding' half of what he's saved by moving is more than fair.

hellithurt · 19/02/2022 16:56

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

It's a bit of an odd one.

I suppose, in theory, the referral fee is an incentive to refer somebody whom you wouldn't otherwise have bothered tipping off if there wasn't anything in it for you. The idea is that, if you would have told them anyway, without a bunce, because they're family or a good friend and you wanted them to benefit, it's money out of nowhere, hence you split the good fortune.

I would have been inclined to offer him half, until the point at which he basically demanded it. It's always the privilege of the recipient to offer/insist on sharing it and not the one being referred, who has presumably already benefited from being put on to a better deal.

As he has pretty much demanded half of it, I think the above suggestion of 'demanding' half of what he's saved by moving is more than fair.

Should he have offered 50% of his saving? He wouldn't have got that if OP hadn't told him.
Georgeskitchen · 19/02/2022 16:58

He's being pissy about 25 quid when he's saved 500.
Tell him to grow up!!

Lazypuppy · 19/02/2022 17:02

Nope definitely not! We do the same, our friends make savings using the mortgagr broker we recommend and wr get a nicd voucher 😊

OMGItsEarly · 19/02/2022 17:21

Should he have offered 50% of his saving? He wouldn't have got that if OP hadn't told him.

@hellithurt
buffet said exactly that in their last paragraph.

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