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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you’ve missed/delayed/declined cervical screening?

936 replies

chickentikkawhatswrong · 19/02/2022 13:56

I see a lot of the campaigns on Facebook about women not going to smears or putting them off for too long.

However it’s generally stats and doesn’t seem to delve too far into the actual reasons?

If you are reluctant what holds you back from attending?

OP posts:
PenStation · 19/02/2022 14:32

Sorry rates of diagnosis, not testing rates!

Chely · 19/02/2022 14:32

I delayed mine last year by 3 months as baby was born the month it was due. All others I have had when they were due. It was super quick and no awkward chit chat as baby was having her jabs straight after, retroverted uterus but I know what position to get in to make it easier.

My friend told me since turning 50 she has stopped going for hers and just goes for mammograms. I find that a bit daft but not my place to question her decision.

123usernamesilly · 19/02/2022 14:33

@DimplesToadfoot Jesus…
To all of you that said you had trauma (either birth or sexual abuse) - that’s understandable and I feel for you but you should get some counselling and get the test done.
To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing definitely and I hate it too but god it is so important for your health!
Same with mammogram- I get one every 2 years (I’m 37). It is not painful at all- it’s pretty much having a picture taken of your breasts. They are a little squeezed alright but how is it painful…

RuthW · 19/02/2022 14:33

@123usernamesilly

Hey OP, I really don’t know why could anyone be reluctant? This is an amazing test to prevent very serious health issues and every girl/woman should be doing it at least every 2 years
Think you mean 3 years. He lab won't test any done too early if there are no symptoms
sjxoxo · 19/02/2022 14:33

I also find them really painful and uncomfortable. I struggle to thin of an appointment I want to attend less to be honest. I probably haven’t been in 3-4 years. I know I should go. It feels like an unnecessary dentist appointment…! x

RuthW · 19/02/2022 14:34

@Iwasonline

A family member says she doesn't need a smear...she's never been sexually active. These are her reasons
That is actually correct
Tuliprain · 19/02/2022 14:34

Yes the crap about it not hurting makes you feel like as it hurts then there’s something wrong. One nurse even said to me ‘are you like this with your husband’.

persephone19 · 19/02/2022 14:34

[quote 123usernamesilly]@DimplesToadfoot Jesus…
To all of you that said you had trauma (either birth or sexual abuse) - that’s understandable and I feel for you but you should get some counselling and get the test done.
To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing definitely and I hate it too but god it is so important for your health!
Same with mammogram- I get one every 2 years (I’m 37). It is not painful at all- it’s pretty much having a picture taken of your breasts. They are a little squeezed alright but how is it painful…[/quote]
If people say that their smear is painful when they've had it previously why don't you believe them?

XenoBitch · 19/02/2022 14:34

[quote 123usernamesilly]@DimplesToadfoot Jesus…
To all of you that said you had trauma (either birth or sexual abuse) - that’s understandable and I feel for you but you should get some counselling and get the test done.
To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing definitely and I hate it too but god it is so important for your health!
Same with mammogram- I get one every 2 years (I’m 37). It is not painful at all- it’s pretty much having a picture taken of your breasts. They are a little squeezed alright but how is it painful…[/quote]
If someone tells you they find it painful, it is not really your place to invalidate their experience and say it is not.

Theluggage15 · 19/02/2022 14:35

This reply has been deleted

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flourella · 19/02/2022 14:35

I have never been sexually active. My GP accepted this as a good reason to decline.

I also have off-the-charts-severe OCD that has a significant contamination element and has governed my life for decades. This has stopped me having any interventions that involve going under the skin, so no blood tests, COVID vaccination, gastroscopy when one was recommended, dental work even though I have issues, etc. Luckily the lack of sexual contact means I am not really at risk of developing cervical cancer, because I just wouldn't be able to go through with a smear test. Although the OCD and the related condition Body Dysmorphic Disorder are two of the reasons I've never had sex, so I suppose it does ultimately come down to that.

CookPassBabtridge · 19/02/2022 14:35

Finally an honest thread instead of people preaching and patronising.
I had my first one in July, I am 36.
It was awful but I had to do it so I could be put down on a waiting list to have fibroid/womb removed.
I have ZERO embarrassment. It was a fear of pain in such an exposed situation... legs akimbo while someone inserts a tool inside you, it's barbaric.
I just breathed through it and put my hands over my eyes.. the nurse kept trying to get me to move my hand.. FUCK OFF it's helping me get through it! Also didn't help that she whispered to the OBGyn "I hate these ones". Thankfully the obgyn was really sweet and gentle.

I wish I could do it myself.

123usernamesilly · 19/02/2022 14:35

@RuthW hey Ruth, I meant every 2 years as I have been doing them privately a lot too. The same way as I’m going for overies and breast ultrasounds.. and recently I swapped ultrasound for a mammogram.
None of this is pleasant - but so important that woman do it

grapewine · 19/02/2022 14:36

This reply has been deleted

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RoomOfRequirement · 19/02/2022 14:36

[quote 123usernamesilly]@DimplesToadfoot Jesus…
To all of you that said you had trauma (either birth or sexual abuse) - that’s understandable and I feel for you but you should get some counselling and get the test done.
To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing definitely and I hate it too but god it is so important for your health!
Same with mammogram- I get one every 2 years (I’m 37). It is not painful at all- it’s pretty much having a picture taken of your breasts. They are a little squeezed alright but how is it painful…[/quote]
It is different for everyone, and some people do find them painful. I don't at all, but I think trying to convince people it's not painful when they felt otherwise is not going to help matters.

gemsand · 19/02/2022 14:36

@Tuliprain

Yes the crap about it not hurting makes you feel like as it hurts then there’s something wrong. One nurse even said to me ‘are you like this with your husband’.
How ignorant. Having a smear and having sex are two completely different things. Unless husbands are shoving metallic things covered in not very substantial lube up you at the rate of knots.
PurpleDaisies · 19/02/2022 14:37

To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not.

Were you there when those people who had painful smears had them done?
How dare you say that smears aren’t painful. That not be for you but for some of us they’re excruciating.

JustLyra · 19/02/2022 14:37

[quote 123usernamesilly]@DimplesToadfoot Jesus…
To all of you that said you had trauma (either birth or sexual abuse) - that’s understandable and I feel for you but you should get some counselling and get the test done.
To everyone else that says it’s painful - no it’s not. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing definitely and I hate it too but god it is so important for your health!
Same with mammogram- I get one every 2 years (I’m 37). It is not painful at all- it’s pretty much having a picture taken of your breasts. They are a little squeezed alright but how is it painful…[/quote]
It didn't hurt when I broke my ankle, doesn't mean I'm arrogant, or ill informed, enough to assume that everyone has the same experience as me.

For some people smears are very painful. Why would you pretend otherwise?

That shit actually doesn't help - more honesty about how difficult medical procedures are for some people is important.

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/02/2022 14:37

With all due respect that's a load of patronising crap. If someone finds it painful then who is anyone to decide they cant find it painful.

And to insinuate someone needs counselling to give staff that previously hurt them a secind chance to hurt them well...

RamsayBoltonsConscience · 19/02/2022 14:37

I once had a VERY painful smear test. It felt like the nurse rammed the speculum in and I nearly shot off the end of the table. That put me off for a long time. I only went back after having a chat with a new practice nurse who put me at ease and, fortunately, I hadn't missed any changes. Since then I have had two coils fitted and multiple procedures but that one bad experience really put me off.

grapewine · 19/02/2022 14:38

@Tuliprain

Yes the crap about it not hurting makes you feel like as it hurts then there’s something wrong. One nurse even said to me ‘are you like this with your husband’.
Yeah. I got "do you have sex?" I told her it was none of her business. Incredibly humiliating.
Quap · 19/02/2022 14:38

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bigbluebus · 19/02/2022 14:39

I'm always reluctant in normal circumstances but always make the appointment eventually. However, since Covid it is nigh on impossible to get through to the GP on the phone, online booking is suspended and you can't go in to the surgery to make an appointment at the reception desk. Add to that, hardly any of the appointments are now held at our village surgery so you have to travel to the one in town. Lame excuses, I know but for something people are at best reluctant to go to, make it easier for people FGS.

takingmytimeonmyride · 19/02/2022 14:39

Fuck off with the it's not painful. It's not painful for you. You have no idea at all how it feels for other people.

I had one last year after putting it off for 13 years. Fear because it hurts. Then irrational fear that they'd find something and I'd drop dead on the spot (whereas if I didn't go I could carry on in blissful ignorance of my imminent death. Daft I know!)

Anyway, I finally went, and didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, the nurse was great, and everything was clear.

I wouldn't ever tell anyone it won't hurt though.

gingerhills · 19/02/2022 14:40

I haven;t had one for years. i feel guilty every time the letter arrives, reminding me to go. But it is very uncomfortable and it really crashes my mood. As someone who had depression for decades and has successfully fought it off, the thought of it being triggered by some stranger poking about inside me with sharp metal objects really makes me think I'd rather take my chances with fate. I know how stupid that is, but even typing this, I feel my body weakening and turning queasy at the thought of it.