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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you’ve missed/delayed/declined cervical screening?

936 replies

chickentikkawhatswrong · 19/02/2022 13:56

I see a lot of the campaigns on Facebook about women not going to smears or putting them off for too long.

However it’s generally stats and doesn’t seem to delve too far into the actual reasons?

If you are reluctant what holds you back from attending?

OP posts:
LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 20/02/2022 14:34

[quote Katya213]@LyricalBlowToTheJaw. Calm down dear. You will blow a gasket!😢[/quote]
Oh dear, you've had to resort to that old chestnut? Clearly you can't think of anything else to say, how embarrassing for you.

Historybubble · 20/02/2022 14:38

This reply has been deleted

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Terfydactyl · 20/02/2022 14:38

@Tillyvonpantsalo

You've missed bowel screening. You will also be asked of you'd like to do stool samples for this once you reach a certain age.
But we are not asked to do a smear we are told to get it done, when we say stop in the midst of it for whatever reason they just carry on. This is assault. If I had ever been asked and not bullied into a smear I may feel differently about them. If I had been given the stats, made up my mind from them and had my decision respected, I and many others would feel very differently. If it was less invasive (let's be very clear here, there are better tests out there and if it was men going through this it would have been changed a very long time ago) if it hurt less ( it's never been particularly painful for me but I understand it will hurt others) if it wasnt just so damned triggering then probably I would feel very differently about it.

Sadly it's an horrendous experience for far too many. And instead of finding a better way, its just pushed on us and advertised to the hilt and even other women try to shame us into having it, instead of that why dont you push for better, why do women just accept this as it is.

Until its self administered or less invasive I will not have one, and they can go fuck for mammograms too, especially now when men can be women on their say so and get into any previously woman only space.

Waitwhat23 · 20/02/2022 14:39

Calm down dear.

Oooft. What a very unfortunate phrase to use on a thread which is discussing dismissive attitudes towards women's thoughts/fears/concerns regarding their healthcare.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/02/2022 14:41

@Historybubble

Message deleted by MNHQ
What gives you the right to decide who has had a traumatic experience and who hasn't?
LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 20/02/2022 14:53

@Popcornriver

Why have some many posters joined this post only to say no sorry your reasons for not taking part in screening just isn't good enough? Who are you to say it's not a good enough reason Confused
I think there are probably two reasons why that happens.

One is just plain arrogance. But there's also an element of women who want their own choice to engage in the programme to be validated, and are thus threatened by anyone who has reached a different decision. You can really see the difference between them and women who do have screening because they think it's the best choice for them: the latter don't need the external validation.

coatofsomanycolours · 20/02/2022 14:56

While some women on this thread were genuinely subjected to some traumatic experience in the past it’s my bet that a large % are the kind of “oh the doctor/nurse looked at me the wrong way” “trauma”😀

How can you be so cruel to those who are suffering? The lack of compassion and understanding on this thread is something I have not witnessed before. Why are a small proportion of posters unable to understand that we are all different human beings with different experiences and different medical issues? I am truly glad for those who find smears a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but it is not like that for everyone. Hence my need for a GA.

grapewine · 20/02/2022 15:04

And how were were mocking women about traumatic responses. This thread is so awful.

coatofsomanycolours · 20/02/2022 15:04

I find it staggering that women are agreeing to this under GA.

Like everyone else here I can only speak for myself as I am unable to feel anyone else's pain, although many of this thread do seem to be able to do that as they declare that it's "just a bit uncomfortable."

I had life changing medical issues due to botched gynae surgery 30 years ago. The treatment for that has caused two things: 1. am have a higher risk of certain cancers 2. a smear test is beyond agonizing for me and simply not possible for any doctor or nurse to attempt (even with sedation or pain relief). This year I have symptoms of possible cancer AND a raised risk so it was important to have a smear test as it could have spread to my cervix. It was therefore suggested I had a smear under a GA. Which I did, and which will happen again in the 6 months and a year's time. Everybodies story is different, and that is mine.

Scianel · 20/02/2022 15:05

I've never found smears a problem personally, until the last one. Might be as I'm getting towards peri-menopause, but it was definitely mostly technique - the practice nurse rammed it up me roughly and the whole thing was so painful I actually wimpered. I had a bit of discomfort for the next couple of days as well.

That was a bit of a shock as the previous one had been entirely painless to me thanks to the kind and careful nurse.

Having now found out that my sample will be binned anyway if it's negative for HPV, I don't think there will be a next time if I can just pay £50 and test myself and not have some hamfisted woman thrust an object roughly up my vagina.

grapewine · 20/02/2022 15:07

I find it staggering that women are agreeing to this under GA.

I agree to it because it's the only way I can have one, and there is a family history of cancer.

coatofsomanycolours · 20/02/2022 15:12

And how were were mocking women about traumatic responses. This threadnis so awful.

I agree...but am glad you see it too grapewine as I was beginning to think I was from another planet. I feel belittled and ashamed reading this thread - not of other people but myself. I had no idea I (and others) were thought of so badly because we medically or psychologically cannot have a smear test in the usual way. It has also opened my eyes that so many think their own personal experience applies to everyone else too. How many people have derided others by stating "it's just a bit uncomfortable" as if they are able to feel what others feel. It's a horrible, horrible thread which I know I should walk away from, but I am just so aghast so many people are so cruel to those for whom it is FAR FAR more than "a bit uncomfortable". I don't think in future I can ever tell of my experience in the real world, now I know so many people are so unkind and lacking in compassion. This thread has truly changed my thinking and I will keep things to myself from now on.

PenStation · 20/02/2022 15:15

And instead of finding a better way, its just pushed on us and advertised to the hilt and even other women try to shame us into having it, instead of that why dont you push for better, why do women just accept this as it is

Here here. I hope intelligent HCPs with some influence are reading this thread and taking note of the feedback. The problems as I see it are:

Offering an invasive sampling procedure in a doctors surgery, that a substantial number of women wont engage with is unethical when there is an initial screening test that could be done easily and safely at home. If I was HPV positive I’d go for regular smears. I’m not going for a smear only to establish my HPV status.

The quality of communication of medical information still leaves a lot to be desired. It it geared towards the least intellectually able when it needs to also reach people who are able to weigh up the risks vs benefits. To be fair, the information that came with the mammogram invitation was much better than the invitation that came for a smear. Imformation must be accessible but thorough and of a high standard.

PenStation · 20/02/2022 15:18

Yes @grapewine and @coatofsomanycolours - the lack of empathy for others is startling. Woulf people say these things in real life?

Scianel · 20/02/2022 15:19

Woulf people say these things in real life?

I doubt many would dare.

Historybubble · 20/02/2022 15:29

This reply has been deleted

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Trinacham · 20/02/2022 15:30

@Historybubble

Message deleted by MNHQ
If they didn't have a traumatic experience then they would just get it done... duh. Not make some excuse up like that (as it is their own health).

Your attitude is disgusting.

Trinacham · 20/02/2022 15:32

@Popcornriver

Why have some many posters joined this post only to say no sorry your reasons for not taking part in screening just isn't good enough? Who are you to say it's not a good enough reason Confused
Exactly. Why are they even here? If they want to genuinely help women with their fears they are going about it the wrong way..
Iheartmysmart · 20/02/2022 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Mommabear20 · 20/02/2022 15:37

2 back to back Pregnancies. Have had to cancel 2 appointments since my DS was born in the summer due to childcare falling through

TimBoothseyes · 20/02/2022 15:41

Refuse the smear test- that’s your choice and is to be respected. But let’s keep clear heads here that’s all I’m saying

So respect it then, rather than comparing somebodies traumatic smear experiences to that of having a broken nail.

TimBoothseyes · 20/02/2022 15:41

Somebodies = somebody's

LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 20/02/2022 15:42

@coatofsomanycolours

While some women on this thread were genuinely subjected to some traumatic experience in the past it’s my bet that a large % are the kind of “oh the doctor/nurse looked at me the wrong way” “trauma”😀

How can you be so cruel to those who are suffering? The lack of compassion and understanding on this thread is something I have not witnessed before. Why are a small proportion of posters unable to understand that we are all different human beings with different experiences and different medical issues? I am truly glad for those who find smears a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but it is not like that for everyone. Hence my need for a GA.

It's Dunning Kruger, basically. People not knowing how daft they are, and getting righteous in their stupidity.
coatofsomanycolours · 20/02/2022 15:44

I just said some women here definitely had some bad traumatic experiences and ok I can understand them (although a smear test is nowhere near close to a sexual assault but OK).Some women here and in real life are the kind where a man looks at them they will ramp plus about #metoo and if they had a broken nail they will have a “trauma”*
That’s just life. Some people are just over sensitive and the slightest thing that courses then discomfort are traumatic to them.

Probably the most unkind post I have read for some time. In my opinion your words are horrible and cruel and lacking in any empathy at all.

pastaislife · 20/02/2022 15:45

Currently trying to book a smear and they offered me a date 5 weeks away when I'm likely to be on my period. I said could they offer any other dates due to that, they said no ring back in a few weeks to check. I can see how people would forget!

Plus now they only test for HPV apparently rather than cell changes too? I've had the HPV vaccine as a young teenager and have been with same DP since my last smear which was HPV negative, so can't see how the result would've changed in last 2 years..

(will now likely get loads of people saying OF COURSE DP has cheated and I could easily have HPV... which is probably quite unlikely)