To go out with friends and not be guilt tripped about it

[HallOfHearts]

My husband's older son has had Covid so hasn't been here for a while (usually have 50:50).

He's here tonight for the first time in over a week so DH is obviously looking forward to it.

We'd (me and H, hadn't spoken to DSS about it) made some mumblings about getting a takeaway and watching a film later on with DSS once our toddler was in bed.

My Mum has just out of the blue asked if she can have toddler tonight, he's at her house this afternoon and she's asked if he can stay over which is fine for us!

My friends are going out this evening and I want to go given the last minute child free night from toddler

H is pulling his face because he thinks I should be prioritising family night with SS who hasn't been here for a while and I'm going out next weekend anyway (I am but with a different friend to something that was booked ages ago). I always feel pressure from H in this sort of thing, like he expects me to be excited to see his son or something.

It sounds like a lot but in general I barely ever go out, it's just so happened that I have two opportunities one after the other.

AIBU to go anyway and leave H and SS to a night in together? Surely that's nice for them anyway.

Your DH is being an arse.
You should be able to go out even if your mum wasn't having the toddler.
Tell him to piss off and go and enjoy yourself!!

Go out and enjoy yourself! He's ur DH son and they should spend time alone together sometimes. Your child is away for the night so you should make the most of it. Ignore your DH if he tries to make you feel guilty, tell him he can enjoy a father and son night while you are out. Have fun!!

DH is U. SS will probably enjoy 1:1 time.

Have a good night! He's being ridiculous.

I would have gone out and left the baby with the husband

Go out with your friends! He’s being ridiculous.

Father - son bonding time after not seeing him for a while.

You're doing them both a favour- its not as if you wont see your SS at all.

@rainbowandglitter

Why can you only go out if your mum has tour toddler? Can dh not look after him?

Considering she's not allowed out because his son is there I think you know the answer.

Although I'm sure OP will say he's looking after the child when she's out next week.

Ugh, sounds like a bad case of the dad guilts. Stepson probably doesn't give a fig as to whether you're there or not. YANBU to go out!

Go out, enjoy yourself. Your SS is coming to see his dad, not you.
I say that as a sm who's been in a similar situation! Dh used to guilt trip me about family time with his dd and our ds. More than once I was accused of splitting the family for silly things like taking Ds to my friends.
I can fully recommend telling your husband to fuck off unless he wants the family split to be permanent. Go have fun, you are kid free. Introduce daddy boy activities, it was a game changer for me.
Have a great night!!

Op your husband is being a dick. I hope you’re getting ready for a night with the girls

@AprilShowers82

Op your husband is being a dick. I hope you’re getting ready for a night with the girls

I am! Thank you all ☺️

Excellent! Good for you. Enjoy your night x

Fantastic opportunity for daddy and son time!

Go out and enjoy. And enjoy the lie in tomorrow even more.

Has he ever looked after the toddler on his own?

It’s different if you hadn’t seen him in a long time but it’s only been a few days.

I think it’s lovely for them to spend some time together anyway and DH should be encouraging this.

Go out and have fun.