Help - Dentist Advice

[Anxiouspineapple]

Sorry this is not really an AIBU, apart from I am unreasonable for not tackling this issue sooner. I could really do with some advice please.

I have bad anxiety and have a particular fear of the dentist. I haven't been in far too long and eventually made an appointment end of 2019 when my teeth were starting to get too bad to ignore. There was a six month waiting list and my appointment was eventually cancelled due to covid. Turns out this dentist then lost me from the list of people to reschedule once they reopened and now I am unable to get an NHS dentist.

My sister has now kindly offered to pay for me to have a check up privately and we can go from there. She has suggested seeing a hygienist first and booking an examination for afterwards. Is this right? My bottom front gums are badly receeding and my teeth are badly stained and have tartar build up, its so disgusting and really increasing my anxiety so I need to get something done but would a hygienist be able to do anything? Or do I need to make a different type of appointment?

I am so scared that they will say something horrible to me as it feels like my teeth must be some of the most disgusting they have seen. Also if I make these initial appointments privately I would probably need some of the treatment on the NHS, could a private dentist refer me to the NHS waiting lists for treatment or would I have to also join the list for an NHS appointment to get that referral?

Thank you for any advice, my anxiety and dentist fear has really spiralled recently because of this and I am really trying to do something about it but I really don't know the best approach.

They won't say anything horrible! They are used to dealing with all kinds of issues.

I'd have the check up first then ask about the hygienist. If there's a lot to do, you may need more than one hygienist appt because it may take them a long time to do half your mouth. Again, nothing to worry about or be ashamed about.

Please do not worry. Just take action as soon as possible and accept you may need a good few appointments to put right what may be wrong.

Good luck. You will not regret this.
If you're in the north west I can recommend a great private dental practice if you wish.

Hey op. I had a thread previously about dental anxiety and posters were so kind to me so I know people will be to you too. I honestly had such huge fear of the dentist (and still do) but I did it and had 2 fillings and a hygienist appointment and I feel so much better now, I couldn't believe how bad my teeth felt and they felt incredible after. It gave me so much confidence. The hygienist in particular was so kind and chatted to me throughout so I was distracted. Definitely go in and tell them exactly how you feel. I'm sure I've a huge flashing note on my file to say I'm massively anxious and will cry!!

Dentist - Please give me some encouragement www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4395756-dentist-please-give-me-some-encouragement

This was my thread

Some - not all - private dental practices may have a requirement for you to see a hygienist first. Check with the practice that you're planning to go to whether it;s required or recommended - but they aren't going to say anything horrible to you - they are as much a part of the professional practice as the dentist (and a commercial business - why would they insult customers?)
Very kind of your sister - hope it all goes well

I have bad dental anxiety and avoided for a long time, eventually went when I broke a pre-molar, fortunately it could be fixed. I initially went to my NHS dentist (I went just often enough) but they couldn't cope with my anxiety and I knew the treatment would be needlessly traumatic because of that. I also wanted a second opinion on one tooth so decided to have one appointment for this privately to see what they offered.

I did pick somewhere through the recommendation of another anxious friend (can recommend if you're near West/north yorks border) and they have built up a reputation of handling anxious patients extremely well. I opted for one of their sedation options (not full sedation but restricted medication) which wasn't/couldn't be offered by my NHS dentist (it was previously about 7 years prior) and found its worked perfectly for me.

I already knew the work that needed doing thanks to the NHS dentist so that wasn't a surprise but there was never any judgement or harsh words. They made the treatment plan clear (including costs, payment plans available) and then talked about what I can do to improve my routine and sent me to their hygienist too.

My advice, shop around for a private dentist online that offers treatments for dental anxiety alongside the dental treatment. Look at what payment plans they have and their overall pricing. You need to go in their knowing what you want to achieve, is it purely a one and done or like me do you want to improve your overall relationship with your teeth and dentistry. At this point a further month searching for the right dentist won't make a difference but find the right dentist will make the world of difference to you.

Had to go to the dentist the other day, things were bad after covid and PPD fuelled Nutella binges

Anyways, just go! Asap! Otherwise things can just get even worse

Also, I have always been to the dentist first and then sometimes they advise to go afterwards to the hygienist.

About the anxiety, my new dentist had
a poster about anaesthetic. Like you see in American movies. They can put you out while doing the work it's an option if you struggle a lot. Otherwise just ask for more injection anaesthesia while doing the work, no need for pain.

Best of luck!

Thank you so much for kind words and support. It has been really helpful.

I am going to look up the local dentists (I'm located in the South and there seems to be quite a few options) and I'm going to make a list of the ones that seem like they would be a good fit. Then I'm going to take the plunge and make the appointment. It is only going to get worse if I keep delaying it.

Google 'Dentists for nervous patients' in your area. I've recently been in the same position as you, unable to get a NHS dentist, teeth were so horrid, I was happy to wear masks to avoid people seeing my mouth. I had to sign up to Den Plan to access the dentist but it's honestly the best thing I've done. Id wake in the middle of the night having such anxiety attacks about my teeth. Convinced myself that they would all have to come out and the dentist would be disgusted.

Fortunately our minds generally make everything much worse than the actual reality. I booked in, gagged, cried and shook my way through the initial assessment, and apart from one extraction and a clean my teeth were actually in pretty good shape. The dentist and assistant were so kind and caring, patient and took everything at my speed. They spoke through everything with me and reassured me constantly.

I've had the clean and waiting for my extraction appointment but honestly the difference to my confidence and self esteem is crazy. It will be the best thing you do, and I'm sure it'll be no where near as bad as you're thinking. And once you get over that first hurdle I'm sure you'll find any further appointments much easier.

Echoing what others have said OP, the majority of dentists are just happy that they’ve come to them and you’re addressing your dental issues now. They don’t focus on chastising you for not coming sooner, and they’ve seen all sorts of teeth in every possible condition so they’re not going to be rude about yours - they’ll just want to help, especially if they know you are anxious and worried about it.

Hi op if you are near Brighton, the Brighton implant clinic in Hove are really good. They do normal dental and implants. I went originally for 2 implants as had 2 teeth removed in lock down as they weren't using aerosol sprays so I couldn't get the fillings done and was in pain. Their prices are really reasonable. They are lovely. I then booked in for 2 fillings after the implants. I have stopped going but only because I can't keep travelling there. They are cheaper than most dentists in the area but they aren't NHS I'm afraid.

www.brightonimplantclinic.co.uk/

Most hygienists won’t see you without a clinical referral so I would advise an exam first. They may allow you to book a hygiene appointment straight after.