Going down to my boyfriends soon. He's had depression 20 years. 2 suicide attempts in that time. He no longer drinks but is in a bad place currently due to many things going on.
The Dr's keep putting him on various things. His sleep and moods are allover.sometimes he's positive. Other days he is low.
2 days ago he went from happy to miserable in an afternoon. He ended up running out of amitripline for 2 days. When he finally got them he took one and it knocked him out the afternoon. When he woke up he was miserable snappy and exhausted.
Yesterday he looked broken in his face. He looked drained. But he had snapped at me the night before so was holding abit of a bad mood towards me I think. He Cooked us dinner and was nice to me. But not close to me and seemed distant. I left early because he wanted his bed. He seemed a very different person.
I heard absolutely nothing from him from 6pm last night. He's always up by 6am. He often messages me a quick heart or something in the night. I know that's not relevant but I'm explaining his level of communication.
At 8am this morning I called him through concern. He answered the phone and said he was gutted he was awake and was pissed off I had woke him. I apologised. He asked me what I was doing. I said I was getting ready. He said why. I said because I thought I was coming to yours today. He said what do you mean you thought, you are aren't you? I tried to ask him what he was wanting. Was he wanting to go back to sleep (he said there was no chance of that) he said just tell me when you leave and I'll come meet you. He feels short and irritated.
A part of me wants to leave it. But I need to take him some dog food and stuff round because he has absolutely nothing in. But also I want to be there if he does need company and hope I can help him feel better.
But I'm also getting emotionally tired and feeling very uncomfortable going into a space I don't feel particularly welcome in.
I just need some advice as I know he's struggling.