To ask how perimenopause makes you feel

[Letshaveablackcelebration]

I feel really flat with it. It’s worse some months but it makes me feel really not myself. Like empty and low - it’s really horrible. I have had one go at HRT but it made me feel rubbish in a different way - headachy and a bit drugged. I maybe need to try something else as that was the gel and my friend said she got on better with the patches.

But this weird sad empty flat feeling is just so horrible! I have other physical symptoms too but it’s the emotional stuff that makes me feel worse at the moment.

Is there a way of diagnosing whether you are perimenopausal? I have many of the symptoms everyone else is describing, in particular joint pain (I feel like my body is 80) and anxiety.

I have no idea about my cycle though as I am on the contraceptive injection so I don't get periods. I have a 4 year old and tried without the injection after having her but my periods were horrificly heavy and painful. I'm 43 so no idea if this is the start of it.

I've been on HRT since last June, have changed it once. I'm 47, tbh feel flat. Physically, I'm more tired, probably a bit more forgetful and a lot more cannot be arsed. I'm an okay-ish weight (would like to lose a little bit), but I read something very depressing about Basal Metabolic Rate, mine is just over 800 calories. Surely I would starve living on that few calories. I try and get my 10,000 steps but on terrible weather days like today, I cant and part of me is relieved caused I feel tired and lazy. I'm lucky that I have a few things I still get excited about but tbh I'm finding this stage of my life a bit horrible. My Dad is getting older, has health scares, etc. It's 20 years since I lost my Mum next month, so I feel that I should be getting some sort of exemption certificate. Everywhere I turn, family friends, other relatives, parents of friends, etc have health problems. I'm not massively struggling with my kids getting older, but do worry about what I and DH will have left. Worry about the future, haven't done very well for me career-wise had to work part-time self-employed around my kids for various reasons. Also, I don't see as many people as I used to. Think all this is a time of life though rather than menopause. Know I need to pick myself up and no HRT can really do that.

@PigFaceForever it’s young but it’s perfectly possible. Mine started early due to cancer treatment but a friend started naturally at 38.

@BethAfra

I'm 50 and it's hard to say - everything's rather nebulous. Periods were regular until this month (late by 2 weeks). Were more painful but about 6 months ago became much less painful. Occasionally heavy bleeding, but mostly not. More irritable, originally in the few days before a period but now pretty much constant. I feel flat, most of the time. I've always been low energy but now it's really hard to get out of bed in the morning and I've stopped exercising almost completely. I just can't be bothered. One wired symptom: a painful bum after sitting for too long. Not sure if it's perimenopausal or not, but just wondering if it's linked to vaginal atrophy at all. It's hard to describe but feels sort of squashed underneath as if support muscles have given up or something and it actually hurts when I stand up after sitting. Or it could be the lack of exercise (see above). None of this feels bad enough to warrant going to a GP, it's just a mild greyness to life in general, and the classic feeling tired all the time.

Pain when sitting for a long time and when getting up from sitting might be coccyx pain - I have similar and that’s what GP diagnosed. Not much treatment available, sadly, but it helps to sit upright (not leaning back) and a physio can give you exercises which may help.

Im late 40's so not sure if I have any signs but I get cotton wool brain, and anxious more, is that a sign??

I think I've been pretty lucky with this on the whole and have dodged some of the worst elements of it: my libido is still fine, I'm not depressed and haven't put on weight.

The things I have noticed are:

brain fog (goes in waves but sometimes terrible)
irritability
joint aches and pains
night sweats

On the fence about HRT: I haven't felt I need it badly enough to want the side effects but I wonder if it might be worth it for post menopause.

I feel really flat with it too.

I get joint aches only at night, so if sleeping on one side for too long it really aches, is that a sign, I've no idea. No night sweats or anything else apart from foggy brain..

Vaginal soreness is the killer for me, sore, red, cracked skin and the itching is so bad I could rip my skin off. It can be bad throughout the day but on a night it's so much worse.

I'm 2 weeks in with HRT pessaries but no improvement as yet. I'm constantly uncomfortable.

It was awful for me. Anxiety, panic attacks, rage, no interest in anything, clumsy. Put on 3 stone.

@niceupthedanceagain You have summed it up exactly

For me, it was the fury. Wanted to murder everyone. Esp. DH. A change in my cycle - always been very fortunate with my periods, regular as clockwork, short and light. Started having seven-day bloodbaths anywhere between 21 and 36 days. Also the night sweats - would wake up drenched every night - sometimes twice. Can't really comment on joint pain as I've got RA anyway.

I told the GP last year, just before my 45th b'day. The first thing I mentioned was the sweats, he cut in and asked if I'd like to try the patch. Again, I've been fortunate, I've heard/read so many accounts of useless GPs who know sweet FA about peri.

51, still regular, but constant PMT type symptoms such as low level rage and feeling hot. I’ve given up alcohol to try to alleviate it but it’s not worked yet!

I’m only 38 and have had a lot of the symptoms described here over the past year, plus some bonus ones.

• raging anxiety (much worse in run up to ovulation, exactly like PP!)

• low mood
• trouble focusing/forgetting words
• stomach cramps and erratic bowels
• irregular/heavy/painful periods
• spotting between periods (for weeks on end sometimes)
• vaginal irritation/burning
• fibrocystic breasts
• coccyx pain
• hip and pelvic pain
• shoulder pain

I’ve had pelvic and breast ultrasounds and various blood tests, with nothing sinister found, so I’ve gone back onto mini pill to try to stop periods and been referred for physio for hip and pelvic pain, which seems to be helping. No one has mentioned perimenopause so that’s something to talk to GP about at some point. They’ve been very good but I started to feel like a fraud or a hypochondriac, because I was coming in with all these different issues

Those with the vaginal itching soreness..........what have you used that has helped please?

Has anyone had any success with supplements, self help stuff?

If I go to the Dr's surely they'd just say I'm too young for HRT but I have 23 of the symptoms listed on @Helenahandkart's link, thank you for that.

I used 5htp and St John's Wort before I went on HRT. They worked to a certain extent.

I take the Menopace supplements. I'd run out of them before Christmas, but have just started taking them again to see if they make a difference.

Most of the above. But the hardest to cope with are sleep disruption, and the complete collapse of my confidence. I can no longer work out which are cause and which are effect.

Not knowing whats going on. Teary. Exhausted.

Dont know what is anxiety/depression and what is hormonal.

The only thing which has really helped me so far, sorry to say, is exercise. And not the kind of tinkering I used to do but proper exercise Has really reduced my symptoms.

Oh gosh, I definitely agree with everyone about the 'flat' feeling - I really struggle to have any joie de vivre these days. I don't know if it's because my DC are still relatively young (and needy) and it'd be easier if they were a bit more independent, but some days I just want to lay on the sofa and not have to go to the sodding park or soft play or whatever...

Plus the joint pain. Oh the joint pain I do take cod liver oil but not sure how much good that does!

I'm actually paying for a private health assessment soon which will include a FBC, will be interesting to see if there's any issues picked up. My GP hasn't followed up on the last couple of things I've contacted them about so perhaps going private will set my mind at rest for a while - or at least give me something to go to the GP about if needs be.

I've found my people

Mid 40s and after a blood test to confirm peri and probably 5 years of symptoms (started low level and have been gradually ramping up) I've also had enough.

GP put me on patches last month, minimum dose which didn't really help much. Now up up to 50 and nearing the end of the 4 week mark when I need to decide whether I need to go up again or stay on this so I can get a decent length prescription and not just 4 weeks as it's ££ to find the right dose.

Those of you on the patches - should I expect my symptoms to disappear entirely if the dose is right? Or just get much better? I need to know if I'm being realistic?

But yes, the whole thing as many of you say is just shit. Really, really shit. Like a previous poster said, you just want "you" back.

@userxx

Jesus, if men had half of these symptoms there would be a cure!

Ain't that the truth

@OhWhyNot

Plus side is I don’t care so much what other think

I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser to not be so concerned is liberating

This is true. My 20+ self would be horrified at me