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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

leave 8 year old at after school club ! too anxious

38 replies

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 22:48

dont know from where to start but I have to start work and leave my 8 year old at the club for just 1 hour but i am getting too anxious about it .AIBU

OP posts:

artificialhells · 18/02/2022 22:50

8 is a fine age to be at after school club. Do any of her friends go? Are you really anxious about this or about something else? Try not to pass your anxiety onto your daughter.

Scarby9 · 18/02/2022 22:52

She will love it.
What are you anxious about?
Do you feel the same about her being in school all day?

RedCandyApple · 18/02/2022 22:52

Why are you anxious?

YesILikeItToo · 18/02/2022 22:53

Yes. YABU. All the decisions you took to let a school look after him are exactly the same ones you need to take to let their after school club look after him. If the school is OK, they’ll provide an OK club. He knows this, you know this - it will be fine. Show him your confidence in the school and sign him up.

Original poster

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 22:53

Hmm I am just not confident whether the right person from the club will be picking her up from school gates and she is also a bit shy .Altough its a club just attached to her school.She is my only child so getting insane.

OP posts:

Sparklesocks · 18/02/2022 22:54

Why are you anxious exactly? If you’re ok with your DC being at school all day, why is the after school club for the extra hour more daunting?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/02/2022 22:54

Of course it is fine. You know loads of kids go from age 4, many parents work full time!

RedCandyApple · 18/02/2022 22:55

How is it different from being at school? My son went to football club after school and they just took him to the hall with the other children?

weaselish · 18/02/2022 22:55

Honestly it'll be fine. Try not to worry. They definitely will pick her up, they have procedures to make sure it works.

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/02/2022 22:56

I don't really understand what you're anxious about. Could you maybe explain a little more?

Original poster

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 22:57

ok,its not a club inside school .its a club the nursery which is attached to my child's school provides.Since I will be working full time I wont be able to pick at 3.

OP posts:

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/02/2022 22:57

My 8yo goes one day a week and loves it, he's asked to go more often!

Original poster

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 22:58

A person from that nursery will come to the school to pick dc up and i think at the gates the teacher follows a procedure .

OP posts:

Notwithittoday · 18/02/2022 23:00

Are you ok? I don’t like leaving mine either. What’s worrying you about it?

YesILikeItToo · 18/02/2022 23:01

So that is not what we’re all imagining - it’s an independent after school club.

Two worries - could there be an independently inspected childcare club who were failing at the task by not collecting at the school gate? I’d research this.

Could my child be too shy to be cared for after school? - I’d suck it and see.

RedCandyApple · 18/02/2022 23:01

What’s wrong with that? The child is 8 years not 8 months

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/02/2022 23:04

The club will have a list of who they are picking up which will be checked before they take the kids to wherever the club is held.

What is it you are anxious about? If you're worried about them being left behind, talk to your child about what to do: go back to the school office and tell the staff they've not been picked up.

Original poster

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 23:05

@YesILikeItToo Thanks for understanding where my anxiety is coming from.
I am doing a trial run for a weeks time ,I have no other option other than this nursery .

OP posts:

Notwithittoday · 18/02/2022 23:05

Ah I see. I’d check and their procedures with the after school club and speak to the class teacher. Ask to see the safeguarding policies

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 18/02/2022 23:08

Ours is an independent after school provider but the children are collected from the classroom rather than the gate. You need to find out for definite how it is done.

Frlrlrubert · 18/02/2022 23:10

DD went to after school club that involved being picked up from school and walking 10 mins to the church hall. They have a list and there was absolutely no problem.

She went from the first week of reception and loved it. I've changed jobs so she doesn't go at the moment and she's always asking to go back.

I assume other children from the school go there too?

Notwithittoday · 18/02/2022 23:11

@TimeForTeaAndG

The club will have a list of who they are picking up which will be checked before they take the kids to wherever the club is held.

What is it you are anxious about? If you're worried about them being left behind, talk to your child about what to do: go back to the school office and tell the staff they've not been picked up.

I wouldn’t take it as gospel they have a list. One dd was going to go to did not use registers. I went in and observed their practice before we used it and had to expressly point out all the mistakes they were making. It was absolutely shocking. They had private functions going on in the same building with adults using the same toilets as the kids and leaving all the exit doors open. They had unlocked store rooms piled high with furniture and crap that could have collapsed on kids. I didn’t use it in the end.

SummerInSun · 18/02/2022 23:13

Can you do a visit to see it before the first time you use it? Might make you feel a bit better? Maybe even with your DC? Arrange to get to the school gates a few minutes before end of day, watch what happens and how they round the kids up and walk them there, see what happens?

If that's not possible, can you call the person who runs it, explain you are nervous as it's the first time you've used outside school care, and ask the questions you are worried about. Eg how do they make sure they collect all the kids, what would DV do if she missed the collection sometime, what activities do they do at club, could she sit quietly and read or do homework if she wants to, etc? Is there anyone else in DC's class who goes regularly who could show her the ropes on day 1?

As someone who has used after school care and holiday clubs since DS1 was 4 years old, I can tell you it will almost certainly run like a well-oiled machine and be absolutely fine. But rather than sitting fretting, have the conversation with the staff and you'll feel much better.

Also talk to DV about what she would do if she didn't get picked up (which is basically tell one of the teachers at school "I was supposed to be collected for after school club and they didn't take me, can you please help me").

Original poster

gg12346 · 18/02/2022 23:16

@SummerInSun Ahh thank you ! You have covered almost everything.

OP posts:

audweb · 18/02/2022 23:18

My kids been going to after school every day for years now, she’s nine. They know who they are picking up, and often there are other kids from the same class going, so they go meet the staff member together. Literally not been once incident of being left behind or forgotten in the years I have used them. And she loves hanging out with other kids after school. It will be fine.

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