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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reporting someone for admissions fraud

399 replies

LaTristesseDureraEntre · 18/02/2022 16:12

NC for this.

I've reported someone for admissions fraud/ giving a false address. Someone in my social circle. They've used their old home address for school applications, but that home is now a holiday let (they still own it) and they've moved down the road to a cheaper area. I sent the LA some info and will let them draw their own conclusions. I did it partly because it affects me/my family (in the obvious way - child in the same school year, tight catchment for desirable school). But tbh I find their behaviour awful so I imagine I'd have been minded to do it anyway.

AIBU? I know on MN the normal response is "keep your beak out" but, really, would you have kept quiet?

And no, before anyone starts, no “Ooh maybe child has special needs / husband is polygamous / there’s a special underground tunnel linking the two properties so that they are in fact one”. Just pure old address fakery. WIBU?

OP posts:
TrufflesAndToast · 18/02/2022 20:32

It’s quite interesting how much vitriol and belittling there is on this thread towards someone who has literally just reported the facts about someone committing fraud to the relevant authority.

To those posters - are you usually all so awful to the victims of wrongdoing? As the OP’s child might miss out on a place because of this person. Spitting vitriol because she isn’t willing to sit by and sacrifice her child’s chance at a rightful place at a good school in order to be ‘cool’ or something - it’s really, really odd.

Are you as equally scathing and spiteful to people who report crimes? To children who tell a teacher they’re being bullied? Where exactly is the line where people women are expected to sit back, lose out and not make waves about other peoples’ wrongdoing?

Smallkeys · 18/02/2022 20:34

Nope I know someone who did this I thought it was wrong but left them to it

Sometimeswinning · 18/02/2022 20:35

yeah, we could have used ex's address for dd's school application as he lives lless than a 100 yards from the school gate, but as the children do not live with ex, we went with our address that is a mile or so away.

Wow!! That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever read!!!

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 20:38

Are you another person who thinks that the rules should be that the owners of a property near the school are prioritised for a place vs the people who live near the school?* no i would be more likely to end a friendship over it, if i were really certain, than report tbh. but also the op doesn't know for certain there is fraud, how could she? the family might have moved back or be planning to separate and one move back or any other host of things. also the op is not fundamentally honest herself as she says, so she is not a trustworthy witness.

for me personally, i would not be friends with someone i felt was not honest, but i would not be reporting over something like his. i would report if i feared for someon'e safety, or for an animal's safety that sort of thing.. would you honestly have reported this, based on the limited info op has, about one of your friends who you then didn't tell what you had done?

A580Hojas · 18/02/2022 20:38

If there is no fraud the school will investigate and no harm will come of it! Don't stress all of you who want to protect the fraudsters.

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 20:39

Are you another person who thinks that the rules should be that the owners of a property near the school are prioritised for a place vs the people who live near the school? no i would be more likely to end a friendship over it, if i were really certain, than report tbh. but also the op doesn't know for certain there is fraud, how could she? the family might have moved back or be planning to separate and one move back or any other host of things. also the op is not fundamentally honest herself as she says, so she is not a trustworthy witness.

for me personally, i would not be friends with someone i felt was not honest, but i would not be reporting over something like his. i would report if i feared for someon'e safety, or for an animal's safety that sort of thing.. would you honestly have reported this, based on the limited info op has, about one of your friends who you then didn't tell what you had done?

Polyputthekettleon · 18/02/2022 20:40

If it potentially affects my owns child's school placement I would have done so too 💯. Good for you.

TronDeReplay · 18/02/2022 20:46

mynewbeamer so you think there should be a rule but that people should be able to lie about it with no comeback? That incentivises everyone lying!

RandomUsernameHere · 18/02/2022 20:46

@FurryGrowler

Why would you be so invested in this.

Seriously.

OP has a DC in the same school year, the school is oversubscribed, so this could potentially mean she misses out on her school of choice. Hardly surprising she feels strongly about it.
RantyAunty · 18/02/2022 20:46

@VladmirsPoutine

This is exactly why people should never discuss their business with people. The person OP reported is in her social circle so could even be considered a friend. Honestly I wish more people would understand this! Just don't tell people your business because there are countless people like the OP waiting in the wings to ruin something. Honestly be careful out there people! Even your own relatives can sell you down the river never mind friends!
Trust no one!

It's a shame you can't be open about things, but there are those who enjoy sticking it to others.

Original poster
LaTristesseDureraEntre · 18/02/2022 20:47

the family might have moved back or be planning to separate and one move back or any other host of things

Since the place is consistently let out to holidaymakers and the new place is a family home that has been renovated to full Farrow n Ballity this seems unlikely, no? As I said in my OP it could be that their DC was adopted and the husband is the last Zulu king housing his second wife out of catchment and property 1 has an underground tunnel made with a teaspoon connecting it to property 2 but, you know, back in the real world there’s likelihood and probability, not to mention a family who should have just STFU rather than sharing their genius plan with someone who just happened to be at the same playgroup that day.

OP posts:
A580Hojas · 18/02/2022 20:48

Lol at lots on this thread:

It's OK, anyone would cheat on the address to get their child into the school if they could.

But anyone who would report a fraudster to ensure their child got their rightful place in the school = evil personified.

And if they'd just report on principle - some sort of outre monster.

Ridiculous.

Powertoyou · 18/02/2022 20:54

Some schools ask for a utility bill in parents name, dated within 3 months of admissions cut off date. It’s a good way of verifying living at an address.
I know of a family who rented a property within catchment area of the school they wanted their child to attend. All her friends were going to another school. Their child went through trama at being away from her friends and her new school was very academic. She rebelled in a big way, stopped studying, gave up the violin and taking part in sport. Never made new friends. Spent weekends with her old friends.
Anyway she didn’t achieve anything like her ability. Her old friends have good jobs ,went to university . The girl is still resentful of what her parents did to her and the mother has admitted it was the wrong thing to do it, but a bit late now.

Callimanco · 18/02/2022 20:55

My DD missed out on a place at the school all her friends were headed to based on distance, by 8 metres. A child in the parallel class lived 2 miles away but claimed grandparent's address. I didn't report but I was sorely tempted. My DD was so upset at being the only child in class not offered a place - and the only one from our estate offered a place at a school further away - that it triggered an autoimmune condition.

I appealed, and won the appeal, but was off with stress for a fortnight. I couldn't believe how terribly I was affected. I literally couldn't sleep and was shaking at the thought of my child alone being impacted this way. There were only 2 appeals granted. It was horrific. Thinking your child's future will be severely impacted and there's almost nothing you can do about it is so incredibly stressful, I cannot tell you.

Polyputthekettleon · 18/02/2022 20:56

** Trust no one!

It's a shame you can't be open about things, but there are those who enjoy sticking it to others.**

Trust no one -exactly. This should be the admission teams motto. I can't believe some are saying that it's a shame people can't be open about being fraudsters! Hmm

SE13Mummy · 18/02/2022 20:57

YANBU! Thanks to the fraudulent behaviour of another local parent, DC1 missed out on a place at the primary school I teach at, 800m from our home and where they attended the school nursery. It was a horrible experience and DC1 was allocated a school that no local child minders served and neither DH or I could get them to and keep our jobs (we're both teachers and this school was two bus rides in the opposite direction from my school, DH teaches out of borough). There were 17 primary schools closer to us than the one DC1 was allocated and after a wait, they did get a place at one of those.

After DC1 had been in reception for a term, it came to light that a child about to start reception in another very local primary had their place withdrawn because it had been obtained fraudulently. The place was withdrawn and offered to the child who should have got it. They accepted and moved from my school so DC1 was offered the vacated place as they were now the top of the list. So that's two young children who restarted reception at a new school, one term in, that would have been allocated places at their first choice school had it not been for a dishonest parent.

I would absolutely report someone I knew to be committing admissions fraud and I'd be open about doing so.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 18/02/2022 20:58

YANBU

Please come back and tell us if they don’t get in.

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 20:58

@TronDeReplay

mynewbeamer so you think there should be a rule but that people should be able to lie about it with no comeback? That incentivises everyone lying!
lying or not lying is to do with your own moral compass. we choose to either lie or not lie, to live honestly or not.

reporting everyone else for every wrongdoing you are aware of is a completely different issue

do you see the difference? we are not morally responsible for other people, in our society, unless we choose to be

BoredZelda · 18/02/2022 21:02

YABU for asking AIBU when you’ve already done it. Seems like you just want to show off your virtuous credentials.

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 21:03

@TronDeReplay ie that is what the law says - it is not a crime to not report a crime - generally (there are exceotions) - and the law stands like that for a reason

TronDeReplay · 18/02/2022 21:03

mynewbeamer sorry, I'm not clear what your answer was - do you think there should be a rule that means people who live locally get into the school, but there should be no punishment for lying?

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 21:04

my main yabu here is to do with the fact that the op isn't telling her friend the truth - and that she hasn't discussed with her friend

TronDeReplay · 18/02/2022 21:05

which friend?!
I get the feeling some people haven't actually read OP's posts and are imagining a scenario for themselves.

Polyputthekettleon · 18/02/2022 21:06

I am guessing that the 40% who voted YABU are themselves inclined to commit the same fraud if they can do and want to, which is worrying.

mynewbeamer · 18/02/2022 21:12

@TronDeReplay

mynewbeamer sorry, I'm not clear what your answer was - do you think there should be a rule that means people who live locally get into the school, but there should be no punishment for lying?
my answer was completely clear. i said i wouldn't have reported in these circs but at the same time i wouldn't be friends with someone who commited fraud. how is that not clear?

not lying myself and not being friends with someone who lies is not the same thing as reporting everyone who does lie - two totally different things

your extrapolated questions are not relevant to what i said.

do i thinkthere should be a rule? yes - you could infer that from what i have said already

should there be punishment? i don't think people should be able to break rules generally but at the same time we are not as citizens responsible for making sure everyone follows rules.

hope that is clearer for you now

if we take this any further it will become a philosophical debate!

PS just to confuse you further as i said upthread a specialist school admissions team asked me to take up a temp address to make it easier for my dc to get in! it is a music school. i haven't done so because it cuts across my morals. i wouldn't be reporting anyone who did do it though.

and as i said, the law states that generally speaking it is not a crime to not report a crime and that is there for a reason. have a look at what happened historically in dictatorship states when everyone was required to report each other willy nilly