To spend my whole pregnancy absent from work

[woody87]

NC for this.

I am 14 weeks pregnant with twins and I have never been so unwell in my life. I am completely miserable. I have been vomiting several times daily for the past 10 weeks, I've lost almost two stone in weight, completely exhausted and seem to be picking up every bug going, currently loaded with cold and previously had gastro. I have been off now for 10 weeks.

This is my third pregnancy and both times previously I honestly never had a sick day and worked up to 34 weeks with my 1st whilst full time and then 36 weeks with my second when part time. In fact prior to this pregnancy I've only ever been off longer than a day or two when I had covid.

DH is very hands on so helps massively with my 2 DC but I honestly just cannot see how I'm going to be able to return to work, it's a physically and mentally demanding full time role and as awful as I feel for saying it, Would I be really unreasonable to take the whole pregnancy off work?

Sorry you’re having such a hideous time and I know the light at the end of the tunnel seems faint when you’re feeling so poorly - but you don’t know if it’ll be like this throughout - you’re still quite early on, you might have a turnaround in a few weeks even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

It might be classic first trimester morning sickness and you feel better later on in your pregnancy.

If you can't function then you won't have much of a choice.
Hopefully things will stabilise though.

I would echo the previous comments and try not to look too far ahead. You're clearly not fit to work atm so concentrate on yourself until such times as you might be.

Good luck

Sorry to hear you are so unwell. It sounds like HG - have you gone to the doctors about it? You can get anti sickness medication that will help manage the sickness so you can function better.

I was off from about 5 weeks to 16 17 weeks with my second. Hyperemesis tools it’s toll, I lost almost three stone in that time and felt terrible. Sickness lessened slightly at 15 weeks, but took me a few weeks to regain my strength.
One day at a time, you don’t need to plan too far ahead. If and when you’re ready, that’s when you go back.
Hope work are understanding and you get lots of support at home - it’s crap, but will end!

If you're ill, you're ill so of course you need time off work. If your colleagues know you and your track record then hopefully you will get nothing but sympathy and support. Good luck OP and hope it's limited to the first trimester for you

Well no, if you feel like this for the whole pregnancy, you wouldn't. I hope, for your sake, that you start to feel better soon

You've got to do what your body needs you to! Don't think about the whole of the next 6 months as it's too daunting but get signed off for now and see how it goes, if nothing else at least you can mentally shut off from work.

@woody87

NC for this.

I am 14 weeks pregnant with twins and I have never been so unwell in my life. I am completely miserable. I have been vomiting several times daily for the past 10 weeks, I've lost almost two stone in weight, completely exhausted and seem to be picking up every bug going, currently loaded with cold and previously had gastro. I have been off now for 10 weeks.

This is my third pregnancy and both times previously I honestly never had a sick day and worked up to 34 weeks with my 1st whilst full time and then 36 weeks with my second when part time. In fact prior to this pregnancy I've only ever been off longer than a day or two when I had covid.

DH is very hands on so helps massively with my 2 DC but I honestly just cannot see how I'm going to be able to return to work, it's a physically and mentally demanding full time role and as awful as I feel for saying it, Would I be really unreasonable to take the whole pregnancy off work?

No. I had the first three months off and then went on Maternity early (didn't get maternity pay then though)

Being pregnancy ill is horrific.

Are you planning on returning though?

You sound really ill so of course you can't go to work. I'm hoping you'll get sick pay, which you're entitled to. Hope you feel better soon and if you need to take the whole pregnancy off work then so be it. A teacher friend was off all over covid because she was pregnant, no illness but wasn't willing to put herself at risk. No questions asked, full pay. Stay off.

@RedHelenB

It might be classic first trimester morning sickness and you feel better later on in your pregnancy.

well it clearly isn't 'classic', is it? It's 'never been so unwell in my life'. Honestly, trust OP to know her own symptoms. It might settle down, it might not, but I see HG minimised so often and tbh even 'normal' pregnancy sickness and nausea is unpleasant and debilitating.

This doesn’t sound like ‘classic morning sickness’ at all, it sounds like HG. People with usual pregnancy sickness don’t vomit 10 times a day and lose 2 stone in 2 months. You need medical help and no, you can’t go to work with HG.

This was me too OP (twins). Massive sympathy. You can only do what you can do. I had about three weeks from 20w when I was neither heaving nor yet immobile, then the latter made my life a diff kind of hell. I practically skipped out of the hospital after my section.

I used to work with someone who was pretty much absent for her whole pregnancy. She had a absolutely awful HG and just couldn't function. It didn't ease up much unfortunately so she was signed off a lot. Obviously I really hope it doesn't last for you but YANBU to be off work if it does carry on. You can't work if you're that bad

I really do hope it eases for you though . Take care of yourself. Work isn't more important than your health and that of your child.

I work within the public sector so the sickness policy is quite good and often gets abused. 6 months full pay

My friend who had the same sickness was off pretty much her whole pregnancy and then had her mat leave behind that. She just couldn’t physically work. It was such a shame.
If your work is understanding and you are able to do it then there’s no other option for you?
Hopefully this is just a phase and you feel a bit better soon. It’s such an awful thing

Honestly? When I was pregnant with twins I wasn't half as ill as you - nauseated all the time but never vomited - did faint a LOT - and I worked hardly at all. I was off practically every other day until about 30 weeks when I went off for good and had them at 36 weeks.

You win no awards struggling through. Do what you have to do.

Congratulations!

I was exactly the same with my twin pregnancy. The doctor signed me off straight away. Twin pregnancy were the only words on my fit note so it must be common.
Be very careful I was admitted to hospital several times with HG. Don’t be afraid to call the hospital maternity ward. I was vomiting blood at one point (I must have damaged my stomach or something) and couldn’t keep water down. Hg is awful and mine lasted until week 32.

all the best op

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the comments. DH has said continually that if I am not fit for work then I can't go, too much is expected of me when I am there so unless I am operating at full capacity then I'll need to stay off.

I have anti sickness meds but unfortunately it hasn't really been making much difference.

Luckily I'm in public sector job with good sickness policy so I don't need to worry about finances. It's very difficult as a person who is usually never absent from work but I need to prioritise myself, I know that.

When I was pregnant with twins, the morning sickness was much worse than my single pregnancy.
On the bright side, it stopped really suddenly about 16 weeks, rather than just ebbing away with the first pregnancy. Hopefully you'll be the same.

So sorry it's been so difficult, sounds like HG maybe? My dsis had it and it was horrendous. She felt much better by 5/6 months so hopefully you will too. I think you should take time off until you feel better.

No you wouldn't if your not well. Don't put work before your health or feel your letting them down. I went off from 6-14 weeks with HG with my second and then from 22 weeks till maternity with low lying placenta and bleeding and my work were fine there's not much they can say if a doctor signs you off and I can't see a doctor having a problem giving you a sick note. My employers were fine I stayed in touch and called in to catch up when I felt up to it! Good luck x

You're thinking too far ahead.

I had an easy twin pregnancy first time round.

Next singleton pregnancy was awful, was signed off until mid-second trimester due to hyperemesis.

You're 14 weeks. See how you get on, I found the sickness died down around week 18...

I was sick daily and felt sick constantly from week 3 to week 38. Wasn’t bad enough to be HG I don’t think but it was bloody hard. I worked until 36 weeks but had to keep going home in the day time to be sick which really was no help to anyone. I’d stay home until you feel better.