Complainer neighbour

[Talkaboutit25]

10Talkaboutit25

Hi
Any advice I've moved, from swapping into a HA property, I've found out the neighbour has been putting complaints about me sometimes from day, sometimes when we get up for work, sometimes when I or my son, use the toilet at night., or use kitchen, minimally. I'm just checking we have got a right to use kitchen at night, when it happens it's not a 4 course meal it's a tea, sandwiche ect. Also she has complained about walking about at night, but we don't wear slippers soft steps, we need to be able to travel occasionally round our home at night, even to use toilet, drink or water. Tbh if we wanted to, as long as noise is minimal which it is then, I've got a right to be up all night in my house. I ve found out since she is a historical complainer, and complained about last two tenants here, and her other adjoining neighbours. And other tenants in street. She has been banging on the wall if any of the above activity takes place. After hearing of complaints I did logg all this with the HA, she has already had two warnings for harassment for the same things. I think they are issuing her with another one. The other night about 3am, after flushing toilet she come banging and kicking my door, when I opened it, she forced entry with her foot, very polite I asked her to take her foot out as I said I wanted to shut the door please. I logged with police and HA, she has lied to cover up her asb and said my innocent little son, threatening her with a knife at my front door, wth, it's unbelievable. We are not involved in anything lie that and my son is a gentle polite nerd! We have never been nothing but polite and offered discussion opportunities to her over the 6 months this has been going on. She has put numerous notes through our door, moaning, complaining, and threatening. I just feel so alone with this and despite just using my house like a mouse, we have never ever had any complications or complaints anywhere we have lived, despite being extra quiet, I still get paranoid I'm going to lose my tenancy and feel really vulnerable here. We can't just stay in our rooms at night and not leave after 11? How can we not get up for work at 6.30 we have to earn, my son goes to school. Help its making me very unwell and depressed

She is in the wrong not you, she sounds awful. I think you need to go about your business as normal. Use the loo and the kitchen whenever you want to as is your right in your own home. If the flush is noisy maybe consider not flushing during the night? Keep a log of her harassment and report her if she acts in a violent and threatening way - every single time. Hopefully she will be evicted.

Speak to your housing officer. The chances are they are well aware about your neighbours repeated complaints and will tell you not to worry about it and that you’re well within your rights to create normal
Household noise as you live your life. When you’ve had that confirmed I’d go and knock the neighbours door and tell her that you’re going to live your life how you want and that she needs to come to terms with it because you’re not going to give her another seconds thought after this conversation.

I would get a ring doorbell for a start. It would record her behaviour and prove that your son is not holding a knife. I would also consider having a camera recording from inside the door in case she tries to wedge the door open again.

How awful. I work nights from home, there isn't anyone downstairs - it's a shop - but I'm up and down all night boiling the kettle, using the loo etc. I also hear upstairs moving about but it's just normal living noise, the same as you describe.

All I can say is bear in mind that the complainer has to compile their own evidence with logs, recordings etc. If the noise is just normal living noise they won't take any action or evict you. Can you get a ring doorbell to capture her kicking off at your front door?

She is nuts.

Don’t try and be reasonable.
Don’t try and be nice - you need to fight fire with fire unfortunately.

Next time she comes over I’d be discretely filming or recording it with your phone.

You can then PROVE it’s malicious and I would counter file and take it as far as you can.

She has history so anyone investigating will know the truth.

She's being unreasonable.

Every time she complains to use, document it and what you were doing. I'd also log with the police if her behaviour is aggressive, threatening or abusive in any way as well as how scared/anxious it makes you feel.

Op you can't argue with stupid. Keep a diary. Keep reporting. She will be evicted before too long imo.

Punch her and say you thought she was a burglar.

Keep an incident diary and log everything, keep the notes she pushes through your door. And keep in touch with your housing officer; she already has a record as a nuisance and they will have experience of tenants like her making false complaints.

Keep a log and document everything, keep notes she puts trough your door as evidence, next time she bangs on your door, grab your phone and film her when you open the door. Report her to the police when she harasses you.

And live your life. You’re not her hostage.

Ignore her when she speaks to you or simply grab your phone and start filming her when she harasses you, or better get a bodycam.

Be prepared though. The moment these kind of people see you no longer sneak around your own house to keep them satisfied (impossible job anyway!) and refuse to engage with them any longer they might really go batshit crazy. You might wonder if at some point it might be better to no longer open the door and just call the police.

Does she have any mental health issues. How old is she? I'm wondering if the council should be moving her into accommodation more suitable for her. Such as sheltered accommodation or similar.

Anyway your doing nothing wrong. They basically know its her. She's done it many times before the other neighbours and council seem to have confirmed that? Keep a log /proof of every time she harasses you.

I had this at my previous flat, also HA, with my downstairs neighbour. He honestly expected to live in complete silence. It was a block of four flats, to get to my flat upstairs you'd have to walk past his front door to go up the stairs. I lost count of the number of delivery men, postmen etc that he threatened, purely for walking up the stairs! That's how bad he was.

Things got progressively worse over a period of 3 years, to the point he was threatening my partner whenever he visited, yelling abuse constantly. I made numerous complaints to the HA during that time. Last straw for me was the NYE when at about 5pm he started yelling up abuse, with threatening to kill my partner, accusing me of 'running a brothel' and threatening to harm my two cats. I called the Police, they advised us to leave the flat for the evening for our own safety. I also reported it to the HA, who immediately offered to take him to court ... an order was made that had arresting powers if he even spoke to anyone coming into the building.

Ultimately though I felt unable to continue to live there on my own. I went back on the housing list, as I'm physically disabled I had the support of my Doctor and psychiatrist and exactly 6 months later I moved into my present flat. I spent 3 of those months staying with my ex H as I couldn't face being in my flat. I also found out from two of the other neighbours in the building that I was at least the 4th person he'd driven out of the flat by doing the same thing. I was (still am tbh) very angry that I was the one who had to leave. The HA told me the problem was I was the first tenant of the flat who was willing to take it to court, and they couldn't evict him on the first complaint.

Long story short, I'd start making plans to move. Yes, I know it's very unfair, but believe me, it will be worth it.

I'd be tempted to look into a restraining order tbh - to stop her contacting you, knocking on your door, putting notes through etc....

Make a formal harassment complaint (obviously, you won't be the first) and stop worrying. Never open the door to her. Keep a diary of every incident. If she threatens physically, report her to police.

Sooner or later her behaviour will get her evicted.

Every time she complains in person, remind her that she has been issued with harassment warnings and that this is a breach of those warnings.

That's bloody awful! Others have given you lots of good ideas.

Good luck.

The Ring doorbell sounds a good idea. Good luck OP.

Log every single thing.

Keep the notes as evidence.

Do a weekly update to your housing association or whoever as to what complaints/banging etc she’s done that week.

Don’t answer the door to her without recoding it in your phone. Or just don’t answe the door.

Ask the professionals what they intend to do about her as she has an ongoing campaign of harassment against you and others. You have a right to a quality of life. They need to support you and others on this.

I’d also perhaps speak yo your local MP and stress how much her behaviour is weighing on you and your family and you fear for your mental health and in-some cases your physical wellbeing as you feel you are at risk of her physically assaulting you.

Hi
Everyone thanks so much for your responses, some good ideas.., I'm definitely going to talk to community police about restraining order. But feel so trapped and vulnerable.... I'm glad for you guys who got to move, I think every thing is going to move real slow.... But yes I guess anymore banging on walls I just log and report! Ah it seems a common problem but hard to accept the reality that it's my big problem! Thanks everyone xx

If you were having parties every day I'd understand her complaining of the noise but day to day life can't be a noise complaint.
Housing associations provide support both ways.

Mess with her a little. Every time she knocks tell her it can't have been you as you were both in bed, sleeping until she knocked. Maybe drop a few comments about things moving during the night, make up a tale of a nearby grisly murder and pretend her flag must be haunted.

Whatever you do, don’t step down to her level no matter how tempting it is.
If you wrestle with a pig you both get dirty and the pig loves it.
The only way to win from these kind of people is to not play at all so record everything, report what you need to report and ignore her. You’re ‘lucky’ that you’re not the first tenant experiencing this so they believe you.