Am I being unreasonable

[Glax]

My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 3 months.
He has recently won a holiday through work and is insisting he is going.
I am currently undergoing a few health issues which he is ignoring as he wants to go on this holiday.
I have tried to tell him that going on Trip like that where drink is easily flowing isn’t a good idea. As he always try’s to fit in with other people and will drink immediately (as he has done before)
It ended with him screaming in my face that he is going and that I am trying to control him.
When he starts drinking again he can take up to a year for him to stop.
I know if he goes he will start again. But he seems incapable of having a reasonable conversation. Instead he has taken to shouting and insulting me.

Let him go and leave him while he is away

Get off the merry-go-round.

What kind of holiday is it? I don't think he should never be able to go on holiday again.

As you know whether he chooses to drink or not is within his own control. It may be a difficult trip but also at some point if he does want to remain sober he will be in these positions. Maybe he is angry you don't have faith in him. Is he going to AA at all?

Let him go, you can't stop him despite his past substance abuse. Irrespective of that, how would you react if he tried to stop you going away?

There are two outcomes to him going

• he goes, starts drinking and you make the decision to leave because you should not have to live your life babysitting jinx
• he goes, he doesn't start drinking again and he's earnt your trust and you can relax a bit.

Sorry OP, but you can't stop him.

Why are you staying with him?

@PolkaSpace

Let him go and leave him while he is away

Yep. Do this. You are on a road to nowhere with someone like this. He clearly doesn't really want to stop, and your marriage isn't that important to him .

Time to get off this crazy train. Why have you stayed with him? He's an abusive alcoholic and he clearly doesn't want to help himself. He can go on his holiday and you can change the locks.

@grapevine45

Let him go, you can't stop him despite his past substance abuse. Irrespective of that, how would you react if he tried to stop you going away?

There are two outcomes to him going

• he goes, starts drinking and you make the decision to leave because you should not have to live your life babysitting jinx
• he goes, he doesn't start drinking again and he's earnt your trust and you can relax a bit.

Sorry OP, but you can't stop him.

I agree with all of this

He right, you are trying to control him. I completely understand why, I tried to do the same when I was married to an alcoholic. But the fact is you can't control him and his choices, you can only control you and yours. So stop putting your eneergy into stopping him going and instead focus on whether you want to be with a man who makes the choices he makes.

Sorry this is an awful situation but he will drink and so the cycle starts again as you know.Do you want to leave if so how can you ?Do you have a job ,your own money,children?Reallythink do I want to carry on with this life,yes a hard question but put yourself first now.Good luck

He's clearly not dealing well with sobriety if he's taking to shouting and screaming at you.

I'd leave him for that to be honest. He does have to prove himself if you're supporting his recovery.

What's his intention? Does he think he can avoid alcohol while he's out there?

Is he having treatment or going it alone?

Is this enough for you to walk away if he starts drinking again?

It ended with him screaming in my face that he is going and that I am trying to control him

TBH if he's doing that now I suspect that he's already drinking again. Sorry

Leave him.