Non committal for party ? AIBU

[MRS54321]

*Apart from the obvious Covid +/- results pending

I’ve asked a few family members to attend my only DCs first birthday party in 4 weeks time.

We have not seen a lot of family over the last 2 years, for obvious reasons, but most don’t live far away ( within 15 miles )

Some have not got back to me yet but the ones that have are very non committal ?
I was going to hire a little venue, as we have a small home - but now I have visions of it being empty now?

Is this typical of children’s parties nowadays?
Should I cancel ? I don’t want to put in all that effort and be upset when no ones shows up?
I would say yes or no when asked?

I’m afraid to ask other people now, incase I get back 15 /20 “maybes”

Can you ask for an RSVP date? Explain need you need firm response for food/drinks etc.

You can phrase it in a firm but friendly way.

RSVP by a certain date**

That's absolutely shit of them. Sorry but they can just say no if they can't be arsed. I'm sorry they are so flakey and just can't bring themselves to say no you know what we can't be bothered. I hate it there's a definite rise in people like this. I blame text messages or always wanting to see if a better offer comes along.

You say they’ve been none committal but you Havnt even booked the venue yet? They’re probably just echoing you.

Maybe it’d be easier to go for a meal or something if it’s mostly adults attending? One year old won’t care either way and it may sound more appealing to the adults.

@Cakelover17 the venue is booked provisionally

DM can’t believe I want a party, and normally I would agree with you if DC was a Summer baby , I’d be having a laid back garden party. But there’s a gorgeous r chance of snow! Also, I’m a Lockdown Mum and DC Is L/D baby - so we missed a lot of Firsts or nice usual baby things like :shower/gender reveal/ christening There’s not even a photo of DH and I WITH my Bump, as no one to take it

That’s a good idea about RSVP
I’d hate to mess about the venue,either in these times…

If you wanted a photo with your DH and bump you should have used the timer on your phone, or done it selfie style!

Seen as it’s clearly very important to you I’d express this to family if you havnt already and sort of go all out with the invites so you can include a formal RSVP by request. I’m sure people will show up

@Penvelopey yes I totally agree
I detest flakiness.

• I also hate this movement of supposed “self love” rebranded selfishness “it’s OK to cancel your mates if you CBA cos it’s Self Care..” What if your mate really needed you ? What if tickets were bought?

Might people 'receive' the invitation better if you say you want to get all the family together for the first time in 2 or 3 years, rather than "do you want to come to a baby's birthday party?" ???
Just a thought.
Difficult to know, without knowing how you have phrased it / how you have invited people / if you asked for an RSVP by... date / if they realise you are booking something and it isn't a casual drop in.

Also, depends if, as an extended family you have generally got together regularly or not.

@Kite22 true
I’m going to ask for and RSVP soon, I think ! :)

If I was invited to a 1st birthday party I would assume it would be mostly a group of your friends with their babies, and the family invited are additional guests - is that what you are planning or is it a party for just family?

@TempName01 bit of both!

I don’t know if you can change your plan now but I think what I would do is have a play date party with the friends with babies and a separate family get together where the focus is more on them, otherwise I think you would struggle to actually spend time with your family members.