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Original poster

The Fear

26 replies

Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 16:02

Does anyone else get the Fear about something happening to their kids. Mine are teenagers now but one has just passed their driving test, the middle one has gone out to the pub for the first time and the 15 year old looks 19!

I imagine all sorts of horrible things happening to them, car crashes, fights, harassment etc.

I sometimes wish they were toddlers again where I could protect them more.

OP posts:
OMGItsEarly · 17/02/2022 17:34

Yep.

  1. I Worry to death when he’s late in, when he doesn’t answer his text messages/phone.

If I don’t get a reply then half hour later send “hello??” I will get a ‘I’m fine mum, stop worrying’.

I’m a mum, that’s my job!

Even though he’s nearly 6ft I imagine all sorts like he’s been grabbed and he will be found in bits in a bin bag, he’s got into a fight & will be killed with one punch, will stupidly drink too much and choke on his vomit, an angry dad will beat him up for being with his daughter, car crash, drugs, Covid - it makes me realise what a worry I must have been to my mum when she didn’t have the advantage of being able to get hold of me on a mobile phone.

My friends worry the same.

Flexitarian · 17/02/2022 17:36

Yep. Not always unfounded in DS case. He’s a bit of a risk taker and has got into some real scrapes.
But I’ve always had it, from the day he was born.

Much less fearful about my other DC who takes a much more cautious approach to life.

ButtockUp · 17/02/2022 17:41

Yep.

My worry is that my adult children might have an accident tomorrow in the extreme weather.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 17:42

@OMGItsEarly

Yep.
  1. I Worry to death when he’s late in, when he doesn’t answer his text messages/phone.

If I don’t get a reply then half hour later send “hello??” I will get a ‘I’m fine mum, stop worrying’.

I’m a mum, that’s my job!

Even though he’s nearly 6ft I imagine all sorts like he’s been grabbed and he will be found in bits in a bin bag, he’s got into a fight & will be killed with one punch, will stupidly drink too much and choke on his vomit, an angry dad will beat him up for being with his daughter, car crash, drugs, Covid - it makes me realise what a worry I must have been to my mum when she didn’t have the advantage of being able to get hold of me on a mobile phone.

My friends worry the same.

You summed up most of my worries! I saw the incredibly sad story in the news today about the young lad killed by one punch. Absolutely devastating for his family. I feel on edge when they are out.
OP posts:
Original poster
Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 17:43

@ButtockUp

Yep.

My worry is that my adult children might have an accident tomorrow in the extreme weather.

Yes I'm anxious about that too.
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gingerhills · 17/02/2022 17:44

Yes. Way too often. If it gets too intrusive I have to have a proper word with myself and tell my brain to pack it in and actively imagine lovely things happening to DC instead/

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2022 17:48

I sometimes wish they were toddlers again where I could protect them more.

Absolutely! The first lockdown was such a relief for me because I knew they were all safe. It was like
the pre-school years when they were all at home all the time, but they didn't wake me up really early in the morning.

x2boys · 17/02/2022 18:00

Definitely,knife crime worries me massively I have a fifteen year old son ,a fifteen year old boy was knifed to death last year by two fellow teens around the corner from me it was a stupid pointless crime ,totally senseless death ,it's so frightening.

Homeatlast2 · 17/02/2022 18:10

I get worried sick. For my teens and adult dd. I live in a rough area . I hate it so much when they go out . More so for the teenager. To many teen stabbings /fights.

Meceme · 17/02/2022 18:10

I used to have an agreement with my daughter when she left for uni. Every 2 days she sent me an 'I'm still alive' text if we hadn't spoken. It was incredibly reassuring. She thought it was hilarious.

ThelmaDinkley · 17/02/2022 18:17

I’m glad it’s not just me. I’m really worrying myself sick all the time my dd goes out. It’s winding her up and I’m going to get some help as it’s really affecting my mental health. I don’t think lockdown has helped.

snowstorm2012 · 17/02/2022 18:25

@OMGItsEarly

Yep.
  1. I Worry to death when he’s late in, when he doesn’t answer his text messages/phone.

If I don’t get a reply then half hour later send “hello??” I will get a ‘I’m fine mum, stop worrying’.

I’m a mum, that’s my job!

Even though he’s nearly 6ft I imagine all sorts like he’s been grabbed and he will be found in bits in a bin bag, he’s got into a fight & will be killed with one punch, will stupidly drink too much and choke on his vomit, an angry dad will beat him up for being with his daughter, car crash, drugs, Covid - it makes me realise what a worry I must have been to my mum when she didn’t have the advantage of being able to get hold of me on a mobile phone.

My friends worry the same.

Exactly this!! Glad it's not just me.

I'm happiest when on a Saturday night both my sons are home (17 and 19) either with girlfriends or not - I can then totally relax knowing everyone is safe.

StoneofDestiny · 17/02/2022 18:32

Of course - doesn't matter what age your children are!

newbathroom · 17/02/2022 18:33

Constantly and it's exhausting ☹️

Original poster
Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 18:34

I'm happiest when on a Saturday night both my sons are home (17 and 19) either with girlfriends or not - I can then totally relax knowing everyone is safe.

This is me exactly. I love locking the door knowing they are all in and safe.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 17/02/2022 18:44

Yes definitely. My kids are grown up now and past the risk taking youth stage (I hope) but I still worry about their safety. Now got small grandchildren to worry about as well!!

Gregsprinkles · 17/02/2022 18:46

Yes, my 15 year old likes to cycle and I worry about all the shit, aggressive drivers around. Luckily he's not on the roads too much but still.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 18:51

@Georgeskitchen

Yes definitely. My kids are grown up now and past the risk taking youth stage (I hope) but I still worry about their safety. Now got small grandchildren to worry about as well!!
Mmm I did wonder if the worry just expanded to grandchildren!
OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 17/02/2022 18:55

I do try to put things into perspective, even though it's really hard.

For example, DS rides a BMX , and at least once a week goes to an indoor BMX park. I worry more about him driving/being driven there by another teen than I do about what might happen when he lands badly while riding. There have been more hospital visits due to bad landings (some quite nasty) than there have been car crashes (none) but I still worry more about the journey there and back.

IsItTooHotInHere · 17/02/2022 18:56

I can tell you now that it's just the same when they're old enough to have kids of their own...... my sons are 40 and 38, but I still worry if they're unhappy/ill/driving a long way/in another country. etc., etc.

Satingreenshutters · 17/02/2022 19:07

Absolutely! Causes me huge anxiety.

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2022 19:09

Today I told my 16yo there is no way she is getting in a car and drinking 30 miles with her newly qualified friend when there is a perfectly good train.

I was told to chill. And then she patted me. Hmm

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2022 19:27

*driving 30 miles

x2boys · 17/02/2022 19:58

It's so difficult though ,I want my son to go out and have fun and I don't want to hold him back particularly as he gets older ,but in my heart of hearts i, would be much happier knowing he was tucked up in bed like when he was a toddler 🤣

Original poster
Therunecaster · 17/02/2022 21:44

Son is in! Went to pick him up. Eldest is still out but heading back soon.

OP posts: