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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my DP being unreasonable or am I?

12 replies

HelloPanda12 · 17/02/2022 13:38

So for the last few days the weather warning in our area has been Amber for Friday until this morning when it changed to Red. My DP works a 45 minute drive away and our car is an old 2004 banger, won’t say what model as it’s outing but think the size of a fiat 500. We’ve already been told by a garage that our car would be worth replacing pretty soon and we are arranging a new one in the next couple of months but here’s my problem;

He seems to think there’s nothing to worry about and that I’m over reacting when I say I don’t want him to drive to work tomorrow. We live in an area that is notorious for flooding (and flooding badly I might add) and I’m 8 months pregnant, I don’t need to be stuck here alone with no power and no DP because he’s sunk the pissing car and ends up stranded or is then stuck at work should he make it there. The last storm that hit a couple years ago had our whole area a good 2ft underwater (we didn’t live here at the time though but I did grow up here and know how bad a bit of rain can be let alone a storm that comes with a Red weather warning). He thinks I’m being silly and has said he has to go in yet he does have a laptop that he can work from home on. Would it not be smart to tell his manager that the likeliness of him being able to get to work tomorrow is slim? At least so they can expect it and not have him calling at stupid o’clock in the morning because our light as a feather little washing machine on wheels is on its side down the street somewhere drowning Envy

Fully prepared to be told I’m overreacting but I honestly don’t think I am. The roads were starting to flood on Wednesday when the lighter storm hit so I know it’s going to be worse tomorrow.

OP posts:
switswooo · 17/02/2022 13:40

I don't think you're over reacting, but have you spoken to him about yours and his concerns? Why doesn't he want to WFH, is his boss ok with people WFH etc?

Mybestyear · 17/02/2022 13:45

YANBU if you are in the red zone. I think part of the issue is that the weather is 'okay' at the moment so people are not realising just how bad it might get - well, not consciously. I warned my DS that he might not be able to travel to his friend's tomorrow afternoon and he looked out the window and saw blue sky/patchy cloud and the trees swaying in a light wind.....then looked at me as if I was stupid.

If it is the type of job where phoning in last minute would cause major inconvenience, then it would be reasonable for him to discuss with this line manager. My organisation has already emailed us to say we should WFH tomorrow if possible and we are only in a yellow zone.

1000yellowdaisies · 17/02/2022 13:46

I don't think you are unreasonable, but its really up to him whether he wishes to travel or not. Everyone accesses risk differently and he might think its not a particularly big deal. But given that the warning is red, its stressing you out and you've said he can wfh, i think he should be doing so.

HelloPanda12 · 17/02/2022 13:46

@switswooo

I don't think you're over reacting, but have you spoken to him about yours and his concerns? Why doesn't he want to WFH, is his boss ok with people WFH etc?
His work are totally fine with him working from home as long as he gives them notice for what day he wishes to do so, he keeps saying that he might be the only person in tomorrow as one colleague has taken leave and the other may not make it in but I’m struggling to understand how he can say to me his colleagues might struggle to get in to work but doesn’t seem to think that for himself?
OP posts:
NoVaxDjokovic · 17/02/2022 13:57

A car is outing, really?! Grin

Ponoka7 · 17/02/2022 14:06

I don't get why people in risky areas seem to see it as a personal challenge to beat the weather, when they have the option of not having to travel. He is being unreasonably stupid. Just putting you through the stress is very unfair.

girlmom21 · 17/02/2022 14:15

I don't think the car is really relevant. If you're 2ft deep in water nobody's driving anywhere.

It does seem like he's taking unnecessary risks.
I'd tell work I was staying at home because of the weather warning and him not risking you being alone heavily pregnant if the worst does happen.

Brefugee · 17/02/2022 14:21

you're not overreacting. However. If he is digging his heels in make sure that all your accident and accidental death insurance are up to date. I'm not being facetious, you never know.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/02/2022 14:24

YANBU. A red warning means danger. If he can WFH, he should do.

I agree with PP - I don't know why some people see the weather as a challenge and insist on going out regardless of all the warnings.

HairyScaryMonster · 17/02/2022 23:02

The advice is to avoid travel. I don't see how work can expect him in considering he can wfh, not even taking account you're pregnant, it's a flood risk area and the car is old.

In an amber area and everyone's been told to WFH if they can.

Hankunamatata · 18/02/2022 00:13

Hasnt everyone on red area been told to stay home?

Mingusthebrave · 18/02/2022 07:28

We are in a red area and they've closed all the schools so you are definitely NBU

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