To put my smartphone away and go back in time…

[Candyhats]

Thinking about this on a regular basis and not sure if IABU. Being constantly contactable and having messages to respond to all the time is something I’ve come to resent. From well meaning friends to children’s class groups, to fellow parents of my DC’s friends. Constant messages never end, please this is not a stealth boast. It’s parents being unable to decide between white and pink marshmallows and needing a handhold while making a decision! I can’t cope with the volume, frequency and ridiculousness of messages a lot of the time.

I wish I could go back to the days of a landline. If the call was missed, they’d try again. (I wouldn’t have an answering machine). Or a note in a notebook.

Am I alone. Aibu?

I have 2 phones. One for work (I'm self employed) and one for personal. I've forgotten what my ringtone and notifications sound like because I keep them both on mute! I too hate the constant need for interaction and reply when it's convenient for me..

I'd start by turning off all the notifications, so you can choose when to open the apps and look at what messages there are. You'll probably find that all the marshmallow type questions have solved themselves by the time you read them. That might help a bit, at least.

Same as a PP, unless I'm expecting something urgent my phone is always on mute, and push notifications are always turned off for all social media (so I only get updates when I choose to open the the app).

It's a much calmer way of life.

There are so many ways to vary the settings on a smartphone, take advantage of them! Mute/archive everyone except people who might call in an emergency and enjoy a quiet life.

I've started putting my phone on mute in a cupboard during the day. I have to actively choose to check it. It's definitely reduced my usage - out of sight out of mind...

Two things you could do straight away to help would be to have all groups on mute and only respond on the class group if you have something to add. Secondly, don't respond to those trivial things that require your instant attention like the marshmallows. I had a friend like that and I took to replying a few hours later with "Only just seen this, been on work calls". She stopped after several of those.

I wish I could do this there are days I literally long to turn my phone off

YANBU.

What annoys me is that people expect an instant response. Even when I'm working or doing something else. I recently got a tirade of abuse from someone because I didn't respond to them immediately. I was in ASDA with no signal.

I mute all group chats. I don't know why you would be getting a notification for all the different messages - it's entirely in your power to change this.

Get rid f the damn thing, i had a smart phone for less than a year and just couldn't put up with it any longer in fact i have banned them from being used in my house, family and friends know i will not put up with them checking their phones every few seconds if they have come to visit. My old Nokia is back in use although it is often left behind because i rarely feel the need to take the thing with me. Life is much more pleasant.

I have my phone on silent all the time. If I'm doing something I just ignore the notifications and look when I can be bothered. Just because it's there it doesn't mean you have to reply instantly. If you feel like that, yes putting the phone away might solve this particular issue , but not the underlying cause. You don't owe anyone your time.