AIBU to try to win friend back...and how?

[Defrump]

I have/ had a lovely friend who I regarded as a big sister. She looked after her mum who passed away in December. In our culture you go to visit for condolences but I couldn't as I was very ill but we were in contact.
In Jan my daughter became severely ill (MH) and the whole month and even now I'm trying to keep her out of hospital. Also I'm having investigations for mysterious symptoms which could be stress or something more.
Anyway my friend said she wanted to see me after her Mum's 40 day ceremony- in our culture it's a big deal- but didn't specify when exactly. I called her a week later as I completely forgot with the home and health drama and she is not answering my calls or replying to messages.
I know she feels let down but I am in a frenzy. She doesn't know about my daughter's issues and I don't want to put it in a text.
What should I do?
Leave it?
Send flowers?
I don't know exactly where she lives.
I miss her and I know she must very feeling bereft at loss of her mum. But a part of me thinks well, maybe she wasn't that good a friend if she could just cut me off like this?
Any perspectives much appreciated thanks

Of you don't know where she lives it's tricky otherwise I would say send her a card and a letter inside explaining.

If that's not an option then I think you have to tell her the circumstances in a text, acknowledge that you wanted to see her / have not been there but it was for good reasons and you don't want to lose her as a friend.

I'd try to get the address and send flowers - not too flashy - and a card. I wouldn't overdo detail of your circs right now but explain that you are struggling and how sorry you are. Then build on any response to share a memory / photograph / visit to grave / Religious ceremony - whatever is appropriate in your culture. Be easy on yourself too. If she doesn't respond quickly don't push but don't beat yourself up or give up. You're having a hard time too. Hope you'll be okay. You can try to build bridges again, gently, when both of you are ready.

You have a friend so close you regard her as a sister but you don't know where she lives?

I would explain to her everything that you have had going on even if in a text just to make her aware.

Yes re the address thing
We became friends after meeting at various places then always met at cafes and during covid on phone.
I moved away last year and we were always in phone contact. So yes it sounds weird but thats how it is.

Tell her you're sorry but a family member had a serious health problem and needed your help and support. To respect your daughter's confidentiality on her own medical info, you don't have to give further details.

You have to text her. Put that your daughter has been seriously unwell and you are having health issues, but would love to catch up with her. Many on here might tell you to leave it, but it sounds as though you could both use a good friend right now.

I'd leave her to it.
I don't think you're as close as you imagine. You haven't shared your private family stuff with her, she hasn't responded to your messages and you don't know where she lives...she's not that much of a friend.
Leave it for now - you never know, you might bump into her in a cafe.

Be honest. Message her, tell her you are sorry you couldn’t be there for her and that’s you had significant family issues. Tell her she is important to you and understand that she might feel disappointed, that you didn’t are but that’s very much not true. You would love to offer support, know how much she must miss her mum. Then leave it to her. If you don’t hear you may have to accept that due to circumstances your friendship hasn’t made it