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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I kicked my neighbours dog

175 replies

bumcakes1234 · 16/02/2022 15:52

We live in the countryside, I went out with 12mo DD in the carrier and my dog (who was on the lead) we walked round the corner from our house. In the distance we saw some people out walking with their four dogs, the dogs saw us and started all barking and racing towards us. I wasn't sure what to do because my dog was on the lead and theirs wasn't, I tried to pull my dog away and take a different route but she wasn't keen on turning her back on the dogs running at us (don't blame her tbh).

Decided to stay still and maybe they'd be fine after a sniff, one of the dogs was very aggressive snarling, it snapped at my dog and I just lost it

I kicked the dog and started screaming and shouting at it to get away.

It went off and I went on my way on the different walk. Didn't stop to have an awkward conversation with the dog owner. I should add the owner was trying to call their dog back and we do live in the kind of place where you can go for a walk in the fields and not see a soul so I'm not mad them for not having their dog on a lead.

I am however mortified that it was (I believe) a relation of the people who have just moved in next door 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

YABU - you overreacted and should apologies to your new neighbours

YANBU - that psycho dog went for your dog and you have to do what you have to do!!

OP posts:

Pizzaplanet6 · 16/02/2022 21:05

@bumcakes1234 I apologise, I thought it was the one dog, I misread I didn’t realise it was 4. Also I don’t know where or what the area was - just stating I would try and pull/move the dog away if possible. It obviously wasn’t though, so again I apologise if you thought I was trying to take the piss or anything like that. I truly wasn’t and I’m glad that you, your daughter and dog are ok.

FlasherMcGruff · 16/02/2022 21:47

YANBU. If an off lead dog approaches an on lead dog without the consent of its owner and any trouble starts, it’s entirely the fault of its owner for failing to have the dog under control. If their dog is kicked for biting / snapping / lunging, then that is the consequence of the risk that the owner took. It’s also totally acceptable to use an umbrella, stick or any other item to fend off an attacking dog. Have been told this by a police officer when reporting a dangerous dog, which I also kicked. I’ve had dogs my whole life.

Some owners won’t learn this until they allow their untrained dogs to run up and snap at a dog which retaliates with an attack, unfortunately.

nancynoname · 16/02/2022 22:21

YANBU!

You did exactly the right thing in the circumstances.

Please stop worrying that the new neighbours will have you. THEY are the ones 100% at fault here, and should feel completely ashamed and embarrassed at being such bad people dog owners, and at making such a bad first impression. Though the thing with bad owners is that they rarely know or admit that...

SaySomethingMan · 16/02/2022 22:24

Of course yanbu

MrsWinters · 16/02/2022 22:38

I think the difference between people saying you should do what you can to get the dog away and what you did is where you say ‘you just lost it’. That suggests to me what you did was probably an over-reaction.
The dog has paid the price here for the fault of the owner.
You should never deal with an animal in rage or anger

DryOldCaper · 16/02/2022 22:51

You should never deal with an animal in rage or anger

This is such a monumentally unhelpful statement.

There’s a zillion things we should ‘never’ do.

But life happens and we’re human.

The OP was scared and threatened. And yes, probably really angry at the dog who was scary and threatening - to her, her own dog, and her baby.

She dealt with it within the emotions she was feeling at the time, because she didn’t have any choice.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 16/02/2022 23:12

Have your neighbours been round to apologise yet?

Greenbluestar · 16/02/2022 23:28

Snapping isn’t biting though is it. You’re lucky the dog never bit you after you kicked it. Had the dog of actually bitten your dog I imagine kicking it may have made things even worse.

Greenbluestar · 16/02/2022 23:37

I cannot believe the amount of people saying you did the right thing. It’s no wonder we have such a problem with misunderstanding dogs and dog bites in this country. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ You lot have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about. Let’s see what the professionals say about this shall we?

‘If you are confronted by a vicious dog, the best thing you can do is stay calm. You should not kick or yell at the dog. An aggressive dog wants you to be stressed out before it attacks, but if you remain calm and in control, it slows them down and distracts them. If you shout you could irritate the dog further.Try to keep your fingers curled in your palm, as this will minimise the risk of you losing a finger. If the dog does bite you, try your best not to pull away as this can increase the severity of the wound. You could also try to get to a place where there is a barrier between you and the dog.’

Take the advice of the BVA or randoms from the internet? I know which one I would chose. Enough said.

LaBellina · 16/02/2022 23:41

YANBU your neighbors should be deeply ashamed for putting you in in a situation like that. Esspecially because you had your baby with you . You did exactly the right thing!

Saltyquiche · 16/02/2022 23:41

I think for me it boils down to whether it was self defence or not. Self defence then it was protection

noblegreenk · 16/02/2022 23:51

YANBU at all. I did similar a few months ago. Neighbours off lead dog attacked my (very wimpy) on lead greyhound and I ended up kicking it away. Not hard, I'd like to add, but just to get it back off. It worked, the neighbour wasn't impressed, but theres no way i'd let my hound get hurt and not do anything.

MrsTimRiggins · 17/02/2022 09:58

I find people who tell everyone all dogs should be on leads 100% of the time, annoying.
Yea… I mean, I didn’t say that, but okay. I did, however, assume that the decision to go off lead on that particular land was made by the fact you never see any other people (except for when you do!) due to that being somewhat implied in your OP. All irrelevant now, of course, given you know the farmers themselves don’t mind.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 17/02/2022 10:04

@sqirrelfriends
I've kicked a dog before. It was on top of my cat and was shaking him so kicked it in the head which thankfully made it let go.

The owner got hold of her dog and dragged it off. Later on she knocked and let me know that they had a large vet bill having his stomach stitched up from my cats scratches.

Bloody cheek! Everyone knows injuries from shaking can cause serious injury or even death! Large vet bill serves her right, she should have spent more on obedience classes for the dog. Good on your cat!

Rewritethestars1 · 17/02/2022 10:07

@Greenbluestar but that advice dosnt actually solve anything. Stay calm and if the dog bite you but don't pull away. Get behind an obstacle, and if there is no obstacle like in the op situation? The advice is a load of rubbish. It gives not actual instructions. Staying calm will not prevent a dog attack and then what? Just lay there and take it. What a load of shit. If rather try fight than lay there remaining calm. And who apart from an absolute psycho can remain calm when faced with an aggressive dog. Its a normal human instinct to fight. Especially when protecting loved ones.

Nanny0gg · 17/02/2022 10:25

@WonderfulYou

YABU for kicking it.

If a man/woman came over shouting abuse at you you wouldn’t throw a punch and not expect one back.

Obviously you were in a difficult situation but it makes me shudder thinking how you could have caused the dog to attack you and get your child in the process.

Blocking with your arm, foot, leg etc = fine.
Kicking, punching, antagonising = not fine.

So, with the baby, she'd have been able to Block with your arm, foot, leg etc

Sensible suggestion? No

sqirrelfriends · 17/02/2022 10:27

@CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo I was shocked at the cheek of it. She paused after saying it, I'm assuming for and offer of payment or apology, neither of which was offered.

My poor cat was traumatised and still hadn't come home at that point. (Luckily I knew he was alive as I'd tried to get him in and he tore my arms to ribbons).

Grated321 · 17/02/2022 10:28

I did the same once when a huge dog cornered my 1 year old spaniel. Gave it a right good kick and didn't feel guilty at all.

vivainsomnia · 17/02/2022 10:32

I didn't know what the right thing to do was, I just wanted it to get away from my dog and I won't just stand there whilst another dog bites mine. Sorry if you think that's unreasonable. But 1) I love my dog, she's part of my family and 2) why the hell should I be in a position with a traumatised dog and a large vet bill just because people like you think I should just stand there like a banana
I wouldn't have stood like a banana. I would have yelled at the owners and asked if they were likely to bite and I would have pulled my dog away, without running. I would have been ready to act though if they jumped on my dog.

The main reason is because your reaction was the riskiest in the dog retaliating.

If you get abused verbally by someone making threats, would you just go and kick them?

You reacted on the spot and that's fine. But no I do not think it was the best response at all in the circumstances for the safety of everyone involved.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 17/02/2022 10:37

I've done the same in the past. Felt bad about it for about a second.
My dog on lead and a pack of terriers/ small dogs came pelting at us and barking/yapping , growling and snapping at my girl. My dog was scared and was spinning about on her lead , tangling us both up. I kicked out at the dogs and they ran.
The next dog I hit on the head as it was doing the same behaviour, this dog had also knocked a fella over, then charged at us!
The owner still didn't put it on a lead. I was fuming. He had 2 dogs and told him the wrong dog was off lead. I was fuming. He wasn't arsed I had hit his dog.
Not my finest hour but was protecting my dog and myself

SlashBeef · 17/02/2022 10:42

Yanbu
I'd kick an animal to protect my dog and myself. In fact I'd do whatever I had to do to get it off. Don't feel bad for a second. Idiots on here will basically tell you you should have laid down and let it maul the lot of you so as not to hurt the dog or its owner's feelings.

Rewritethestars1 · 17/02/2022 10:46

I bet that posters saying you should not have kicked the dog have not actually witnessed a dog attack. I have seen 3 full on proper dog attacks in my life. 1 husky on 2 Westies, 1 bully on human and unfortunately 2 small vicious shits on my assistance dog. Three of the scariest moments of my life. All these stay calm, turn away suggestions are rubbish. If an aggressive dog approachs, you do anything to get it away. Op carry a spare leaď preferably a rope type and be prepared to use it to choke the dog out. No probably not the best or most sensible way but in that moment different rules apply im afraid.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/02/2022 12:28

Have the neighbours said anything to you @bumcakes1234? I do hope you're alright now.
I remember walking a family pet many years ago and before we left the house we always brought a bamboo cane out with us (not a walking stick as such but hopefully enough to distract another animal off a lead if we did ever find ourselves in a position that we needed to defend ourselves). I think I only needed to use it once to position ourselves away from a dog that was walking off lead and not going back to it's owner. I remember being very shaken by the experience.

Leonberger · 17/02/2022 12:38

Having seen a Labrador ripped apart by an off lead staffy and dying in its owners arms I would be willing to defend my dogs (and child obviously) by any means necessary.
Any dog approaching me gets told to get lost very clearly (mainly by my German shepherd not me) and I would also tell the owner the same.

I would do more than bloody kick it if it got hold of mine that’s for sure and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt or embarrassment.

AskingforaBaskin · 17/02/2022 12:42

@vivainsomnia

I didn't know what the right thing to do was, I just wanted it to get away from my dog and I won't just stand there whilst another dog bites mine. Sorry if you think that's unreasonable. But 1) I love my dog, she's part of my family and 2) why the hell should I be in a position with a traumatised dog and a large vet bill just because people like you think I should just stand there like a banana I wouldn't have stood like a banana. I would have yelled at the owners and asked if they were likely to bite and I would have pulled my dog away, without running. I would have been ready to act though if they jumped on my dog.

The main reason is because your reaction was the riskiest in the dog retaliating.

If you get abused verbally by someone making threats, would you just go and kick them?

You reacted on the spot and that's fine. But no I do not think it was the best response at all in the circumstances for the safety of everyone involved.

Are you seriously trying to compare humans to dogs.

I've kicked a dog twice that was coming for me. The second time my baby was on the floor of the park. It was a Westie sized dog so I YMHA's no worries about which one of us was going to end up getting hurt.
I was intending to cause it damage and when it jumped up again I slammed it down by its neck until the owner came.

Could I do that with a human?! No!

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