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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To question my brain.

12 replies

Bluebell0312 · 16/02/2022 10:06

Ok, so I have an anxiety disorder and ocd which mainly attacks my morals. I'm also separated from my husband of 20 years due to his 10 year cocaine addiction, I have 5 children from 20 down to 3.

Also I'm 37, just to note. This all started last year. When I go food shopping I keep coming home with duplicate items. So I shop at different places on the same day, so I'll think " oh we need toothpaste" so I'll buy from one place, then get home and empty the bags and I'll find toothpaste from two different shops. This made me question why I wouldn't remember that I'd already bought previously. My family say it's because I'm a little scatty and rushing usually, but after it happened twice in a short space of time I got scared I could be developing early dementia. I know it would be very rare! My anxious brain went into panic, then I started noting everything odd I'm doing, I tried to open my door by putting the key into the door bell, forgot the name of Robin Williams when I seen a picture of him (it was on the tip of my tongue) I kept saying Mrs doubtfire and all other films he was in.

Basically after calming down by friends and family reassuring me that they too do silly things and it's normal, I kind of forgot and thought my memory was getting better.

Last night after work I unpacked my groceries, which were only a few bits and I'd bought two cartons of juice! I went into complete panic mode, I was hysterical for ages. The bit I find even more strange is that I'd packed them both too and not realised. One thing I will admit, was I was exhausted after finishing work and my husband has also just had another relapse, I was also annoyed with a colleague so that was playing on my mind.

I'm worried I'm going to be too scared to go shopping soon, I'm terrified I could have something wrong with my brain like dementia.

OP posts:
TibetanTerrah · 16/02/2022 10:12

Its normal, especially in periods of stress, to be on "autopilot" with day to day tasks, not really being present so its understandable that you would do that with the shopping.

Its also normal, when we focus our attention on something, to suddenly see examples of it everywhere. Whether that's aches and pains, memory issues or even a new car we have our eye on, suddenly "evidence" of that focus is all we see.

Try making a list before shopping, and making a conscious effort to focus on each item as you put it in the trolley, and tick it off your list. It may just be the absent minded wandering but consciously focusing will bring you out of it.

Ponoka7 · 16/02/2022 10:14

I've done that at times of stress. I also got blanks and would need to buy tin foil for example, for weeks but not get it. Are you having any fun, or relax time?

RedHelenB · 16/02/2022 10:18

Happens to us all

Bluebell0312 · 16/02/2022 10:22

Thanks both for your reply, it's hard as my husband (despite his issues) was always the one to calm me down with my anxiety, so last night for the first time I had to just sit with the anxiety until it subsided, which I know with OCD you're supposed to do.

I guess it isn't so much as being forgetful as being not present.

I attend Al anon meetings now, when I'm not at work. That's helped regarding therapy as such, with the addiction stuff.

I just find it hard not to overreact to things once they get in my head. Also I have noticed as already said, that as soon as I'm aware that there could be an issue, loads more things than usual keep going wrong.

OP posts:
wishtotravel · 16/02/2022 16:32

I can't help much but I do believe that once you become conscious of something it seems to appear much more frequently than before you became aware of it. I realise that this can happen for all types of things either positive or negative. I also know that negative or worrying experiences stick in our mind more than happy ones so a "pattern" of bad things appears to develop more than the good ones.
I live with low/mid level anxiety and one of the difficulties I have is that I doubt my own mind. Is whatever is happening real this time, or is my anxiety making things up. Am I overly focused on one thing, so much so that I am contributing to it?
From what you have said I would say that your life is full on and you probably are not as focused, but that doesn't mean that you have any type of brain degeneration.

Nothingsfine · 16/02/2022 21:01

Could be peri menopause too, it can cause memory and concentration issues

candycane222 · 16/02/2022 21:08

I really struggle to function (brain and especially with words) when I am stressed. My mind just seems to seize up, like there's roo much going on and its jammed. A bit like when you ram too much in a drawer and it won't close or open.

I have found mindfulness/breathing exercises (just 5-10 mins of someone talking you through how to breathe) can help 'untangle' things a bit, at least temporarily.

GettingStuffed · 16/02/2022 21:12

Welcome to my world, especially forgetting words. I'm worried too but don't feel it's bad enough to seek medical advice yet.

Bluebell0312 · 16/02/2022 21:17

Haha thanks, nice to know I'm not alone. I've always been scatty but even more so lately. I did take a couple of free memory quizzes online today, basically recognising repetitive pictures and after a practise go I got over 94%. So maybe not as bad as I make myself believe, if I actually focus. I think I'm just not living in the present.

OP posts:
Jeune · 16/02/2022 21:49

If it's any help my consultant (I have young onset Parkinson's) always says that if you are worried about dementia chances are you are ok. It's the unknown unknowns you have to watch for 🤔

Bluebell0312 · 17/02/2022 07:19

Jeune - yes that's good to know, thanks.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/02/2022 08:21

I do stuff like this, but its noticeably worse when I'm busy with other stuff. I have kids and a demanding job and I think my brain just keeps hold of the important stuff and simply doesnt have space for the mundane sometimes

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