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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bullying?

25 replies

Turntheheatinoffffs · 15/02/2022 22:43

Keep it short. Been with partner over 10yrs. Relationship was abusive
I left. He changed. Stupidly back together. He constantly screams at my kids. In there face aayin 'what u guna do?' If they roll there eyes or shout back. He calls them horrible Stupid etc. Aibu to call him out for bullying
5 Kids are between 1 and 13yrs.

OP posts:
Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 15/02/2022 22:46

Abusive not bullying.

Why are you with him and allowing this?

slightlysnippy · 15/02/2022 22:46

No this is not bullying, this is abuse. This man is verbally abusing your kids. Throw him out NOW, he hasn't changed.

ohhooh · 15/02/2022 22:46

YABU to call him out for bullying whilst keeping your DC in a situation with a bully.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/02/2022 22:47

He's screaming in your children's faces, including your one year old and you're asking if he's bullying them? He's fucking abusing them and you're letting him do it!

He hasn't changed ffs

tinx · 15/02/2022 22:48

@Turntheheatinoffffs

Keep it short. Been with partner over 10yrs. Relationship was abusive I left. He changed. Stupidly back together. He constantly screams at my kids. In there face aayin 'what u guna do?' If they roll there eyes or shout back. He calls them horrible Stupid etc. Aibu to call him out for bullying 5 Kids are between 1 and 13yrs.
No your not being unreasonable at all

I’m so sorry you had to endure domestic violence
I am saying this from experience they may slightly change but an abuser never really changes that behaviour is buried deep in them. Trust me I know

Please keep your children from being abused too because I’m sure you know very well that emotional abuse can be if not worse than physical abuse

Sending you love I hope you can sort it out

DramaAlpaca · 15/02/2022 22:49

As has already been said, that's not bullying it's abuse. I can't understand why you are allowing him to do this to your children.

Violetmo0n · 15/02/2022 22:49

Abuse.
Get rid.

CyberNan · 15/02/2022 22:50

yeah he changed alright... for the worse.
unload him, your children deserve better

JackieWeaversLaptop · 15/02/2022 22:50

This is absolutely abuse. I’m so sorry OP 🌺 what this man is doing to you and your DC is completely unacceptable. I hope you’re able to get out soon.

tinx · 15/02/2022 22:51

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance

Abusive not bullying.

Why are you with him and allowing this?

Don’t be quick to judge a woman who had clearly been manipulated and abused by a long term partner

Suffering this can do so much damage it makes you question yourself

Should she be allowing it with her children obviously not but she needs help not judgment

Smile
Cherrysherbet · 15/02/2022 22:51

You know this is wrong.

He’s abusing your children.

Leave him, and protect them.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 15/02/2022 23:07

Both abusing and bullying them. Why are you letting him treat your children like this?

UnderTheSea20k · 15/02/2022 23:07

No, it's child abuse and it's facilitated by you

Seema1234 · 15/02/2022 23:09

Stop being such a doormat. Be a parent and stand up for your DCs. He's an abuser and you're allowing it.

RunningFromInsanity · 15/02/2022 23:11

What do you think?
Are we allowed to call people shit mums on here? Or do I have to be more diplomatic.

SouperNoodle · 15/02/2022 23:24

Omg your poor children must be terrified.
I hope social services get involved and get them out of this nightmare.

sst1234 · 15/02/2022 23:25

A little extreme, but you hear in the news about kids abused by a step parent and often wonder why the parent didn’t do anything. This is one of those situations in the making.

OP, is he your childrens’ father?

Ellie56 · 15/02/2022 23:52

It's abuse. Get out or get rid.

Ludo19 · 15/02/2022 23:52

OP why are you allowing this man to treat your/his (if they are his not that it matters) this way. You do realise that this sort if abuse will stay with your children FOR LIFE. They may not forgive you for allowing this man to treat them like that regardless if he's their biological parent.

It's disgraceful you allow this behaviour. I'm sorry for your kids. Try putting them first.

Lou98 · 16/02/2022 00:06

Aibu to call him out for bullying

YABU if call him out means saying something but then continuing to let him treat your kids like that.

It's hard to get out of an abusive relationship, but those kids are going to grow to resent you for keeping them there. I'm the (now adult) child of an abusive relationship between my dad and mum. I love my mum and now as an adult understand how hard it was for her, however, a part of me does also resent the fact that she let it go on for so long. The day she found out he was hitting us was the day she left but even the emotional abuse that happened before that has a damaging effect

Trapiche · 16/02/2022 00:15

Please stop allowing your children to be abused

38woman · 16/02/2022 00:16

I'm shocked reading this. Disgusted actually. It's abuse, he is disgusting, and to be honest so are you even querying if it is bullying. What's wrong with you both?

DropYourSword · 16/02/2022 00:24

Of course that's bullying.
It's disgusting to treat kids like that. Disgusting.
He didn't change a bit. He lied to you to get you back. You know exactly who this man really is.

Bakewelltart987 · 16/02/2022 00:27

Why are you letting someone abuse your kids?

ThinWomansBrain · 16/02/2022 00:35

what makes you think that he changed?

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