Would I be out of order to ask him to pay half?

[justamumseekingadvice]

So following on from my last post, about my daughter’s sleeping issues - I have had an appointment with her paediatrician and yes he recommends melatonin but it is no longer NHS funded in our area…

He recommended the biovea (I think it’s spelt like that!) website but I don’t think any of the products are suitable for my 6 year old… I don’t think she would like the texture of the gummies (she won’t even take vitamin gummies) and the only liquid drops available contain alcohol which a pharmacist couldn’t confirm they would be safe or suitable for her to use…

So I’m left with the option to try and get a private prescription for them which is going to cost a fortune… £275 for a consultation with a private paediatrician and then the pharmacy charges (the price set out from the supplier) £240 per 160ml!

I’m so disappointed because it could literally make all the world of difference for DD and actually get her off to sleep at night rather than spending 4 hours screaming the house down (I have tried all the sleep hygiene and routine stuff and even consulted a sleep consultant).

She currently isn’t seeing her dad due to it going through the courts and CAFCASS recommending no interim contact due to safe guarding issues, but would it be completely cheeky and out of order for me to ask my solicitor to contact him and say that DD has medical bills and could he pay half?

He only pays £30 a month child maintenance because he isn’t working but I know for a fact that either his family would pay towards it for her or he would find the money somehow if he knew it was for medical reasons because they have previously for other things (when she needed a new carpet for her room etc).

Normally I would just crack on with it myself but I’ve already had to pay legal fees this month which crippled me because of this upcoming court case and I want to be able to provide this for DD because I think it would make bedtimes a lot easier for her and just allow her to function in daily life a lot better once she has been rested.

WIBU to ask?

REPOSTING WITHOUT THE NAME I ACCIDENTALLY INCLUDED THAT IS OUTING

P.S. can the lady who wrote about the 1mg strawberry gummies post the link please! X

I know it's not what you asked but you can buy melatonin over the counter in the US if you know what you need if there any way you can get it from there?

To answer your question he sounds like like total deadbeat so Personally I wouldn't waste my time asking as you just give him another thing to deny you and then stag you off about afterwards.

Have you asked why it is not available on the NHS. Certainly in most areas it is only available in child specialist services like CAMHS, it’s not a particularly expensive drug. Is it limited to dc with an NDD diagnosis?
As it’s available in pharmacy’s throughout America you can sometimes find a company that will ship. I used to use Evitaminsbut they have now stopped and have just received ordered some from Biovia for about £36 for the capsules. Is there a reason she cannot take tablets/ capsules

You would be better and cheaper getting a private prescription for the melatonin. Also does your health board have a discretionary fund for cases of medical need for meds that are not routinely prescribed that you could apply to?

Have you tried promethazine?

Camhs will not prescribe melatonin unless a sleeping course and the maximum dose of promethazine has been tried

@Totalwasteofpaper I remembered after posting this that my uncle has friends there he plays sports with every couple of years and they are going to see how much it’ll cost to ship some over! X

@giggly it’s the area where I live - the NHS where I live just do not fund it at all anymore - even though the paediatricians are trying to change that because of how many children rely on it. They can’t swallow tablets x

@Hoardasurass that is a really good point about the discretionary funding - I didn’t know what was actually a thing! Going to research now x

@fleapriest I don’t want to actually medicate her, I felt more open to the melatonin because it’s just a hormone that we naturally have in our bodies but she doesn’t have enough of it, rather than an actual medication if that makes sense c

She doesn't have to like the gummies, she's old enough to be told they are medicine, can't she have a hot milky drink after as a reward if necessary?

@Svara unfortunately it doesn’t work like that with autistic children. X

There are gummies? But she won't like the texture? The alternative being an expensive private consultation and prescription? Surely you just tell her to eat the gummies.

OK, I understand if it wouldn't work for your DD, but I'm autistic and it would have worked for me

Gosh this is so bizarre to me. My daughter was prescribed melatonin (circadin) on the NHS with barely any questions asked. She was 4 or 5 at the time. She's 7 now so not long ago. Can you push back on this somehow?

[quote justamumseekingadvice]@Svara unfortunately it doesn’t work like that with autistic children. X[/quote]
I missed that when I posted. (Though if her autism is that severe and prevents her eating gummies, it perhaps should have been in OP.)

I don’t know the details, but I was listening to Dr Micheal Moseley’s audiobook on sleep the other week. He uses melatonin regularly and he was saying that, as well as stocking up in USA when he’s there, he also orders it online. Something about it being legal to buy online for personal use but not legal to sell it on. Might be worth googling for more info?

My daughter was described slenyto a few months ago and it works amazingly well. She is only 5 and also ASD but takes the tablets easily. They are absolutely tiny. Like seeds almost.

At first I took them back to the chemist as I said she wouldn't manage tablets and asked for a liquid form of melatonin but they persuaded me to try them and it she manages them really well.

Sending you a huge hug.

@Reluctantadult I know it’s so bad considering in other countries you can buy it in the supermarkets! Even her paediatrician sounded really cross about it and said he is hoping for it to change soon and they fund it again in our area. Someone in my post before mentioned discretionary funding so I will look into that x

You can get melatonin over the counter…

@MeanMrMustardSeed yeah it’s definitely legal to have here for own use etc but it’s getting it from the USA that is the hard part, a lot of the websites have been blocked or not allowed to ship here… we do have contacts in America so going to see if they can send some across x

@reallyworriedjobhunter they might be manageable for her if they are that small. Do they work okay for your child? x

What will the private prescription offer that's different to what's on the Biovea website? They have every permutation of Melatonin possible on there.

Does the liquid have ethanol in it? Is that the alcohol that the pharmacist couldn't confirm was suitable for your DD? I'd look online and see if young children are taking the liquid, either in the UK or abroad. She'd only be taking 3mg or so a night so I can't see it being a problem tbh.

Also to be aware re melatonin, there are two types, slow release and normal, so choose accordingly depending on whether your DD needs help getting to sleep or staying asleep.

@MorganKitten not in the UK I’m afraid x

@justamumseekingadvice maybe not helpful right now but Biovea website has three melatonin liquids - only one has alcohol listed as ingredient BUT the other two are out of stock. They also have "fast dissolve" tablets which could be an option.

Can you disguise the gummies? Chop them up very small, mix them with something sweet? Melt them gently into something she'll eat or drink?