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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want kids around ‘bitey’ dog

43 replies

Wendarl · 15/02/2022 19:51

What would you do if you and your children were often expected to be around a dog that the owner (although half joking) says can be abit ‘bitey’ with people they don’t know?

YANBU - avoid being around the dog (and if so, would you say something?)
YABU - it’s normal, it’s fine

OP posts:
konasana · 15/02/2022 19:51

YANBU! Avoid like plague.

Beachsidesunset · 15/02/2022 19:51

I'd say Fucky-offy to that.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 15/02/2022 19:52

YANBU

Suzi888 · 15/02/2022 19:53

Do I know the dog? or is the dog going to be bitey with me?
I’ve had a bitey dog so had to live with it.

BlusteryLake · 15/02/2022 19:57

The only time "a bit bitey" is acceptable for any dog is when it is a very young puppy. Otherwise it is poorly trained.

Saz12 · 15/02/2022 19:58

Depends what they mean by “bitey”.

Aggressive, snappy, etc? Absolutely keep kids away! And I’d be very wary of the owners priorities too.

Lashes out through nervousness? Yep, still keep away!

A very young puppy who’s at that chewing-everything stage? Fine.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/02/2022 19:59

Are we talking a fully grown adult or a mouthy puppy?

Ameanstreakamilewide · 15/02/2022 20:01

I was once told that in an airy fairy way, like it was no big deal, when my son was about 6/7.

I was in a bad mood, so i was brutally honest with her. I said 'look, if the dog bites him, the dog dies'.

I actually had an argument with my husband it after, cos he said i was rude. 🙄

HippeePrincess · 15/02/2022 20:01

To be honest I tell kids likely to annoy my dog to make sure they don't harass her or she'll bite, because they're little shits and probably wont listen otherwise. I'd say it was just a warning to keep your kids under control, are they "boisterous" children?

ChittyBangs · 15/02/2022 20:02

YANBU

I love dogs but I'm always over cautious with them around my son.

Original poster
Wendarl · 15/02/2022 20:03

The dog’s 5/6 years old. Was said referring to when meets new people. I have young children that run around being v annoying for an dog, I’m sure

OP posts:
toastfiend · 15/02/2022 20:04

YANBU!

My PIL have a snappy dog. It wears a muzzle at all times when DS is there and is always shut in a separate part of the house to him. Fortunately they're just as hot on it as we are and we're all in agreement on it.

There is no way on this earth that I would ever let my child around a snappy or bitey dog.

Midlander88 · 15/02/2022 20:04

I think a lot of people just use it as a phrase for "they play with their teeth", in which case, usually even if they're biting your hands, they're never actually chomping down, or if they're using bitey to mean "aggressive".

I would observe the dog myself and see if it looked like he was playing

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/02/2022 20:09

It's your responsibility to keep children under control so they don't irritate a dog.

However, if the person concerned isn't also taking steps to ensure that the children aren't in a position to irritate the dog, they also bear responsibility.

You don't give enough context to be able to see who bears the ultimate responsibility.

Cryalot2 · 15/02/2022 20:10

As a dog owner and someone who was terrified of them for many years thanks to a simlar one who was off lead and let wander.
It was told to be my fault because the dog knew I was frightened.

There is no reason for a dog to be bitey . It just means the owner is too lazy to train it.
No way would I be near a bitey dog now .I would point the owner to the nearest training classes.

Original poster
Wendarl · 15/02/2022 20:15

@NeverDropYourMooncup

It's your responsibility to keep children under control so they don't irritate a dog.

However, if the person concerned isn't also taking steps to ensure that the children aren't in a position to irritate the dog, they also bear responsibility.

You don't give enough context to be able to see who bears the ultimate responsibility.

Responsibility for what? I’m talking about future scenarios when we are in the same house. Let’s say I do all I can to ensure children don’t irritate the dog, and the owner does what they can.. but the dog is as described by the owner.. “abit bitey around new people” ?
OP posts:
DrWankincense · 15/02/2022 20:19

If the dog is bitey, the dog gets segregated.
I say this as I have a very old dog who is sometimes a bit sore, sometimes a bit grumpy and generally of an anxious temperament.
If we have young or boisterous visitors, dog goes upstairs to lie in a favourite spot with a nice treat.
Dog is happy and left in peace, no drama.

KeyWorker · 15/02/2022 20:20

Avoid them completely. It is your job to safeguard your children. Even if it’s awkward, even if it means a fall out with friends or family.

ChocolateMassacre · 15/02/2022 20:29

@Wendarl

What would you do if you and your children were often expected to be around a dog that the owner (although half joking) says can be abit ‘bitey’ with people they don’t know?

YANBU - avoid being around the dog (and if so, would you say something?)
YABU - it’s normal, it’s fine

I would point out that if their dog bites my child, I will call the police and they may be charged with having a dangerously out of control dog and the dog PTS. Then I'd ask them if they really think it's a good idea for their 'bitey' dog to be around my 'rowdy' children.
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 15/02/2022 20:38

How bitey is the dog? Mine would ignore small children but if they tried to pet him he would nip.

Whenever DD had friends over we'd warn the kids a million times to leave the dog alone. He would usually take himself off to another room. But there was an occasional Doolittle wannabe who decided the dog would definitely like them....

DoctorSnortles · 15/02/2022 20:38

I get really fucked off with people and their 'bitey' dogs. There's a woman who walks her dogs locally and we are all supposed to know automatically that her dogs are vicious little fucks and take evasive action, rather than her put muzzles on the bloody things or train them properly.

Dogs that bite should not be near children, or they should be muzzled. It is not the children's responsibility to avoid being bitten!

nopuppiesallowed · 15/02/2022 20:44

If the dog bites your child it could result in dog phobia. No 'bitey' dog should be anywhere near a child- EVER! I love dogs, but I love children more.

Phormiumjester · 15/02/2022 20:44

I wouldn't want you spending time near my bitey dog (not that mine are) and equally I wouldn't let my kids near someone else's either. I'd certainly watch them to make sure they didn't touch it or wind it up if I had no choice.

SheWoreYellow · 15/02/2022 20:47

I’d also need to know more what it means I suppose. Ours nips our bums when we’re playing with her in the garden, but it doesn’t hurt and we don’t mind. It’s not great for visitors though and we make sure she’s not in that position with them.

Suzanne999 · 15/02/2022 20:51

YANBU.
If the dog is that age and reacts badly to children / unknown people then it is the owner’s responsibility to control the dog. Most dogs reacting like this do it because they’re stressed.
They might think the child is attacking ( high pitched voices tell a dog there’s danger around and kids voices are…..)
The dog might feel it has to protect t it’s owner, or it’s belongings ( bed, toys) from strangers.
The owner may not have socialised the dog adequately… Really the list of reasons is endless.
Far better to put the dog in a quiet room with radio/tv on quietly while there are visitors. Or if the owner wants to train the dog keep it on a lead, treats for being quiet, calm. Better doing this with willing adult visitors than children.
Dog bites hurt. And can scar. I wouldn’t mix kids in with this dog.