To think this amount of stress is not normal?

[luanncountess]

I am in my final year at uni, I'm in Scotland so am in my 4th year honours degree. I am a single mum to an 8 year old girl and work 10 hours a week split into two shifts. I have at times been a little stressed with uni but nothing like this, my stress is astronomical.

I genuinely don't feel like there is enough hours in the day. It's not due to poor time management and prioritising either, every week I set out a to do list for each day and it's still unmanageable. I am not managing to attend my seminars at all, I'm barely keeping my head above water with lectures and reading. And it's not like I'm sitting on my arse doing nothing, my days are jam packed and I just can't make these fit in.

My dissertation is all consuming, I feel all I'm doing at the moment is interviews and transcripts which is so time consuming. I also have been trying to prepare for a post grad interview for this Friday.

I am spending no time with my daughter, she has been off since Thursday and I have literally been in the house doing uni work since then bar one shift. Uni is all I think about, I'm losing weight as I can't eat well as feel too guilty and like I should be studying rather than eating.

I feel so much pressure incase I don't get the grade I need or get into the post grad I want. I don't even answer my phone to friends etc anymore as I'm too busy.

Is this normal? I've never experienced anything like it. I do try and take a Sunday off to recharge but it's my head, there's just constantly so much stuff to do and worry and pressure that I can't shut off.

Trying to get my daughter to after school clubs and keep the house clean and do the school run and all the washing, I just feel like everything is falling apart.

I am spending no t

It's normal to a point, however I was a single parent to two (started when my youngest was 2 and I had no childcare outside of college hours at one point) completed an access and a 3 year degree with full time placements. I finished my dissertation half way through working my final placement so it can be done. You need to work smarter, not harder/longer. You also need to set time boundaries, I could have researched and refined for weeks but you don't have the time so you ultimately just have to start (and finish) writing it.
Your child is in school, and you only work 2 short shifts a week, why aren't you making your lectures?
It's a bit stressful and yes, I wrote most of my work between the hours of 7/8pm and 2am because that's when my kids were asleep, but it is doable.

Can you post a typical day? I found it really helped me if I treated university like a proper work day.

So I would work 9am - 5pm in the library and go home. If it wasn’t done in that time it wasn’t done. It really cut down my procrastinating and meant I could properly switch off in the evenings.

Sounds like you have a lot on. As a quick fix, can you pay for someone to transcribe your interview data? It is hugely time consuming, but not all that pricey to pay an audio typist to do it. My uni has a preferred supplier.

Longer term, if you are set for a career in academia, you need to find a way to accept that it never all gets done, and you need to walk away from it each evening for your own health. There is such pressure to work insane hours, but don’t get sucked in. Having a kid means you will never be able to win at that competition, but you don’t need to; just find mentors who see your worth and who understand life is not one-dimensional.

It sounds like you are in a bit of a panic at the moment and need to take a step back somehow and regroup. Don’t take on too much. Everything you say ‘yes’ to, means you have to say no to something else. What will that thing be? Eating? Spending time with your kid? You’ll get there. You can do this.