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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - Toilet doors in school - are they optional?

38 replies

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:00

DS1’s school have removed the outer door on the boys toilets in one corridor in an attempt to stop the 6th Formers vaping in there. DS1 has always been fiercely private in this respect so will not use the toilets so has to wait until he’s near an alternative loo before he’ll go. To avoid drip feeding…so far as I can understand it you can’t see in to where the urinals are as a cubicle door blocks the view. Maybe it isn’t a big deal for most kids and I’m being a sensitive sausage but something sits wrong with me about removing a toilet door to tackle a vaping problem. So dear Mumsnet…please vote to help me gain perspective:
YABU - cost of living is spiralling, Russia’s poised to invade Ukraine and you’re banging on about a toilet door
YANBU - Toilet doors are not an optional extra and it’s a touch unreasonable to ‘punish’ all the boys because of the behaviour of a few

OP posts:

Akire · 15/02/2022 12:02

Do you mean the door to bathroom or the doors to every cubicle?

ChittyBangs · 15/02/2022 12:03

I remember the toilets in my school, the main doors going in were always open. All you could see were the sinks.
Toilets/urinals were round the corner and you couldn't see anything.

helpfulperson · 15/02/2022 12:03

It will actually be more private because people won't hang around in there if they can't vape, cause mischief etc.

Original poster

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:04

Sorry…it’s the main bathroom door

OP posts:

Winday · 15/02/2022 12:07

I think I'd prefer this setup, to my son having to breathe in vape fumes. Neither is ideal, but as long as the urinals are well away from the opening, I wouldn't be too upset.

Original poster

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:08

Ooh perhaps mine were? I don’t think so but it’s been ahem a little while so I can’t quite recall

OP posts:

Notwithittoday · 15/02/2022 12:08

It’s a safety issue as well. Unfortunately secondary school toilets are not safe places for kids

autumnboys · 15/02/2022 12:08

My boys’ school has this. They actually redid all the toilets this way after student feedback. As far as I know though, they’re all cubicles and they play music through speakers for privacy.

worldvisa · 15/02/2022 12:08

you can’t see in to where the urinals are as a cubicle door blocks the view.

because of this, YABU

Don't boys also have cubicles (with doors)? Why not using them instead of the urinals - that can't be seen anyway?

It sounds like a perfectly reasonable solution to ensure kids safety without intruding on their privacy.

LorelaiDeservedBetter · 15/02/2022 12:14

I remember the main door to the toilets was always open in our school. I think it was to deter people hanging about in the toilets and bullying, smoking, etc. They'd have been as well removing them altogether.

Original poster

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:15

Yes, I think it’s a noise thing as well for him. I think I would understand it from a safety aspect if it were all loos and I like the idea of the music playing through the speakers above. It’s just the one loo though. I suspect I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:

Original poster

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:17

@autumnboys

My boys’ school has this. They actually redid all the toilets this way after student feedback. As far as I know though, they’re all cubicles and they play music through speakers for privacy.

I think this would be quite good with all cubicles and music. I do suspect I’m fretting over nothing.

OP posts:

ToastieSnowy · 15/02/2022 12:20

My DCs secondary school is like this. It’s a fairly new school and was built like this. I’ve not heard of any issues with the toilets and believe me certain parents would be very vocal on social media if there was.

Akire · 15/02/2022 12:23

Annoying for your son but in reality nobody in hallway is going hang around long enough hear anything. Certainly in my school the boys corridor smelt bad enough with the door closed! They could help some kids we may be worried about bullying in the toilets. As long as other toilet he can use then think fair compromise.

Original poster

Liesovertheocean · 15/02/2022 12:34

Thank you all so much. I think I can see that I really am being a bit overly sensitive (perhaps due to my own hang ups too!)

OP posts:

GracieLouFreeebush · 15/02/2022 12:43

We’ve done that at my school! The letter home implied smoking but it’s because we’ve had issues with fights in the toilet, kids hiding to truant and drugs being hidden in the roof tiles. Seems to be successful so far at reducing the issues. They are doing the girls soon a think too now because they’ve had issues with vandalising in theirs.

TheApexOfMyLife · 15/02/2022 12:53

For the main bathroom door I can get where thye are coming from even though I'd have more issues with the fact girls/women then have walk past that wide open door knowing there are boys just round the corner with their penis out. Maybe that's my experience of flashing that is talking...

Re your ds, I can only say that my own ds refuses to ever use the loo in part because it is used for smoking pot and a hot spot for bullying. Started when he was in Y7 and even now in 6th form, he still doesnt go. So I get what your ds is saying about feeling uneasy and exposed. If I was him, I'd just use the loos intead of the urinal.

NeverAgainSam · 15/02/2022 13:19

@GracieLouFreeebush

All of these reasons plus others (bullying, vandalising, leaving a mess,) is why many, many school are not having a main door to the loos.

Still privacy. Much, much higher safety.

lanthanum · 15/02/2022 13:57

One school I taught in never had doors to the toilets - just openings (and then corners so nothing could be seen from the corridor).
For that matter, the same is true of the city centre toilets.

worldvisa · 15/02/2022 13:58

As teachers are normally not even allowed in the kids toilet if there's even 1 child in it, a closed door feels much more unsafe.

Bitofachinwag · 15/02/2022 14:01

@Liesovertheocean

Sorry…it’s the main bathroom door

It's not a bathroom, is it?

TatianaBis · 15/02/2022 14:10

I don't think you're BU in the slightest.

While I completely understand the reasons behind school toilet policies it's appalling nonetheless. It's no consolation but I think it's worse for girls.

The only alternative is to pay to send him to a school with doors on the toilets.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 15/02/2022 14:18

Our main bathroom doors were always open throughout high school; to stop people hanging about at the sinks. There wasn't music, either. I thought that was pretty standard, as long as the layout of the bathroom means that the urinals/sanitary machines are out of sight of people outside the main bathroom.

worldvisa · 15/02/2022 14:26

@TatianaBis

I don't think you're BU in the slightest.

While I completely understand the reasons behind school toilet policies it's appalling nonetheless. It's no consolation but I think it's worse for girls.

The only alternative is to pay to send him to a school with doors on the toilets.

can you explain why?

The children privacy is respected, and it gives you reassurance that no child will be bullied behind close doors.

What's so appalling?

mumpants · 15/02/2022 14:37

Most schools are like this now. The sinks area is open. The cubicles have long doors. It's fine.

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