Hi,
I'm having sister in law trouble and literally feel I have nobody to discuss this with for the fear of looking awful.
Shes been with my fiances brother for 4 years this August. I've been with my fiance for 6 years. At first I had no issues with her. I found she was pleasant and lovely and quite a shy girl. We got on well. However over the course of the last couple of years she's really been getting on my nerves.
It started about two years ago. She bought a house with my fiances brother in a really lovely area and as it needed a lot of work doing to it my fiances brother asked if he could temporarily move in with us while they where doing it up. He said he would only be there a couple of months. A couple of months turned into 6 months and during this time I saw a completely different side to him and my sister in law. She would come and stay over occasionally at my house and when she did she would sometimes not even say hi and just go straight upstairs to my brother in law. They also both completely disrespected my house. His room was a complete bombsite. They once ordered takeaway at midnight waking up me and my dogs with the sound of the delivery man knocking on the door. My fiance also told his brother that he didn't have to pay any rent to us because he appreciated the fact they where both trying to do up their house and needed the money. However, their money seemed to go on anything but the house. My sister in law is massive on social media and during this time she was constantly posting nights out they had gone on, meals they had gone out for and also a picture of her brand new mini!!!!
Meanwhile me and my fiance where struggling financially as I was still a student nurse at the time and we where renting this house with no help from either of them despite the fact we where massively helping them out even though they where basically in a much better place then us in terms of buying a house, career and money.
There was also an occasion that I invited her out with me and my best mate. She literally barely spoke two words to my friend and was on her phone for the majority of the night. My friend kept trying to ask her questions to start conversations and she didn't seem particularly interested in answering them. Since then my friend has been very wary of her and finds her very rude. In fact a few of my friends and my sister have said this about her.
Shes very materialistic. She also comes across as being very pretentious. Her social media just winds me up. Its just her basically trying to portray this perfect life.
She also has about 5 different social media accounts. One of their house which they've done up, a floristry account cos she's just started doing flowers and also a food account where she constantly posts pictures of meals she made. I literally can't escape her on social media !
Anyway....her and my brother in law have since moved into this new house and it just so happens to be right round the corner from my mother in law and ive gone from feeling super close to my mil to now feeling so pushed out.
When I was pregnant last year I felt like my mil and sil where just constantly together having drinks and I always felt left out. They would never invite me. Everytime I went onto social media there would be some picture of them together and it made me feel so rubbish.
On top of that my fiances family think the sun shines out of her bum and I feel like im the only one who can see her for what she really is! I feel so resentful towards her and part of me wonders if Its just jealously.
A part of it probably is but then I really do just think she's not a very nice person. I think she is selfish, pretentious, a massive attention seeker and rude!!
Whenever she is with my fiances family after one or two drinks she just loves drawing all the attention to herself by dancing around like an idiot or pretending to be absolutly smashed which my fiannces family find hilarious. I find it annoying and I cant even hide it on my face anymore. I dont get how she can be like this with my fiances family but then when she came out with me and my friends she was a completely different person?
Before my baby my partners family would tell me I was the life and soul of the party. I loved to have fun, I still do however i can't quite let my hair down now as I used to with having my 7 month old. I'd also say I'm very much a social butterfly. However, I feel like she's now just completely taken over my place in the family and everything has to be about her. Its driving me insane !!!!
I just feel so inadequate next to her. I've also gone from being super close to my mother in law to now just feeling awkward around her! We've all just been away on holiday as a family and she just had to try and make it all about her for the entire weekend. I literally can't cope with her.
I've tried to speak to my mil about how I feel without giving too much away but she doesn't get it and why would she ? She obviously just sees this 'perfect' dil in front of her.
I'll never forget the time my baby had just been born and the day I came out of the hospital my fiances family all came straight to my house to meet my daughter. It was nice but then I'd not even had chance to text my own family to say I was home.
My family had also unfortunately gotten covid so where unable to meet my daughter straight away.
Anyway...as soon as my sil met my daughter she posted aload of these pictures she had taken with her onto her social media without even asking me and also without taking my family's feelings into consideration knowing they didn't even know i was home yet and they couldn't even meet her straight away. I was fuming. That's just her all over though.
There's been aload of things she's done which I haven't liked but I'd honestly be here all day writing them down. Just wish I wouldn't let her bother me. Its getting to the point now where I literally can't stand being around her and its infuriating me that my fiances family can't see her for what she really is.
Please help !