To give up on the idea of moving in together?

[wordlehurdles]

In the short term at least?

DP and I have been looking for a place for almost a year. The rental market has been crazy, one house we enquired about had over 100 requests for a viewing. Often we've not even been able to view, or when we have, we've been the 20th viewer that day.

We've viewed maybe 30 properties (enquired about a lot more but never even made the shortlist and of course they will never let you apply without viewing), applied for most of those, spending hours over the applications because almost all agents seem to have printed forms to complete by hand rather than anything online. We've been rejected every time, no reasons given - we have asked! - but I think because landlords are either prioritising families (we don't have children) or local applicants, or offering it to whoever applies first or whatever. We are well within the affordability criteria, have stable professional roles and no credit issues.

Have tried OpenRent, social media etc but nothing much on there. One lovely house did come up on OpenRent but the landlord was a fruitloop who wanted us to provide DBS checks and personal references from people who'd known us 10 years. We swerved that one.

At the end of last year we looked at our respective finances and thought maybe we should buy somewhere instead - we were planning to do this in 2-3 years but thought we could go for a cheaper house now, and then sell (or rent it out) in a few years time.

However there's been nothing suitable in the last couple of months. I check both lettings and sales daily and nada. One house did come up for sale last week which would have been ideal but it's been withdrawn I think because there was so much interest they'll readvertise it for another £20k. There's been nothing suitable to rent since before Christmas.

So after a year we're no closer to a house, I'm spending time every day looking and it just seems pointless and is making me depressed, as I feel in limbo. I think we might as well just give up now and maybe try again in a few months, although no guarantee anything will change then!

WWYD if you were me?

I’m assuming you both live with parents?

My advice is to just keep looking, I know it’s annoying and it’s getting you down, but something will come up.

Could you move further afield?

If you can afford to buy now I personally would buy rather buy than waste money on rent. In both scenarios I think you need to widen your search area. You also need to find out why you're being turned down. Have you checked things like your credit rating?
Speak to letting agents and try and get told about new properties before they get advertised. You could also put an advert online maybe such as your local Facebook groups or marketplace

DP rents a place but his place is too small to live in together, he needs to be nearer family/ work so he can't move in with me - my place is bigger but in a different (UK) country so we can't live together in that either.

We're already looking in a 20 mile radius of the town we'd like to live in (where DP works/ has family) but DP can't really be any further afield than that, because it's a rural area 20 miles can be 40+ mins away.

Our credit ratings are good - we've asked the agents if they can give feedback but all they always say is that there's nothing wrong with our application, it's up to the landlord who they pick and they can't discuss that further due to GDPR.

We don't smoke and don't have pets so there's nothing obvious like that which counts against us.

None of the agents seem to take people's details any more, it's all 'check on Rightmove and contact us if you see anything'!

We have looked on social media but there's nothing on there - the same people have been posting for months saying they are looking for a place and no one ever replies.

Are your landlords giving you good references? It's odd that you're not being chosen as you don't have the usual things that some landlords avoid like kids, pets etc. If anyone you know rents you could ask for them to put a word in with their landlords in case they've got a property coming up?
I'm not sure what the answer is, it's difficult. Could you squash in with your DP on a temporary basis and try and buy rather than rent if you can.

We've not even got to the reference stage yet, that seems to come if your application is chosen but ours haven't been so far.

However DP has lived in his place for over 3 years, always paid rent on time, no issues there so if his landlord was contacted I know the reference would be good.

We don't know anyone who rents privately in the area, they all either own or are in social housing.

There's no room in DP's place. We can buy - not our ideal place but something for now, which would be big enough for us both, but in 2-3 months I've only seen 1 place within budget that I'd even have wanted to view and that one got withdrawn from sale! Everything else is wrong area, too small, needs too much work, no parking etc. And properties are being advertised for loads more than a year or two ago - I saw a house today, not one we could afford, but it's up for over £400k and 18 months ago it sold for £300k (and it's basically the same inside from the Rightmove photos, they've painted and a couple of new carpets but thats it - £100k increase!) That's extreme, but at the level we're looking, 2 years ago houses were £150k and now the same ones are £200k.

It's just frustrating. I feel like I've spent so much time on this for zero return. I know if we stop looking we definitely won't find anything but at this stage a year in it feels like we'll never get anywhere either. And the time and effort for all the applications is such a waste - every time I get my hopes up, for nothing!

Just coming back to this as we've applied for another 2 (well 3, but the 3rd one we didn't even make the viewing shortlist). One of the others was an application to the landlord direct, he never got back to us, I sent a few messages but no replies. And the other one again turned down with no reason.

It's so frustrating to be in this position after close to a year and still have no idea where we're going wrong.