To think this is a pretty thoughtless exercise?

[PossiblyDreaming]

Dc2 is in year 1 and currently learning about the different ways that people live. The teacher has made a couple of big charts that are stuck on the wall and the kids have stuck a photo of their faces in the box that relates to them. The questions are are “what kind of building do you live in?” with the options of detached house, semi detached house, terrace house, bungalow, flat or castle (surprisingly no one lives in a castle in the pretty deprived area we live in). In the corner another category has been added, clearly after the original chart had been made with “bed and breakfast” and the photo of one of the little girls put in that box.

AIBU to think this is pretty heartless? I had no idea about the housing arrangements of most of my dc’s class but, having been sent a photo of their work as all parents are every week, it’s immediately obvious that this little girl and her family are going through an upheaval in terms of housing?

AIBU to think the teacher could have just asked the girl whether the bed and breakfast she is staying in is detached/ semi detached etc. and then put her in one of those boxes instead? Or even better just put a dot for each child in each category so that we don’t know who lives in which type of house? I don’t know the parents of this little girl but I imagine they’re not overly happy with everyone knowing their living arrangements. I guess they could just be moving and between houses for a couple of weeks but even so it’s pretty revealing information that a lot of people might not be happy sharing.

I don't love all these comparative exercises, and I don't remember doing them in my childhood, apart from the classic "Draw a picture of your family", which nobody looked at anyway.

These days is very "All families are DIFFERENT. So let's HIGHLIGHT those differences, in case you were oblivious to them. Let's really dig into whose parents live together, who had siblings and who doesn't." I'm probably oversensitive as a single parent of an only child but I think they could cover the issues without being so personal.

Although actually I do remember when I was 6 my teacher demonstrate fractions by asking everyone in the class who their parents voted for (there were only 3 options). My mum felt that wasn't a great idea either.

I think it's highly inappropriate to have activities centered around children's personal circumstances. They should keep things anonymous and generic.

I hate anything that singles children out like this, or forces them to share a difficult aspect of their lives.

For me, being sent to a little private school on half-fees, paid for by a third party (we had no money, when it ran out I went to the local school), it was my family tree. It was so complicated and all the other children had such clear lineage; grandparents alive on both sides, then parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins. I couldn’t work out where anyone on mine went and some of the other kids pounced on it. It was horrible. I was about seven.

Kids can learn about things like this without having to publicly share their own details.

I would imagine they probably asked the children what sort of house they lived in and the little girl might have answered"I don't know, it's a bed and breakfast". My mum ran one and HATED it being referred to it as that. It had to be "guest house".

I think there is a lot of over analysis and adults applying adult emotion to children on this thread.

The teacher asked what building children lived in and the children answered. It doesn't matter whether a B&B is detached or a bungalow. The child answered how they viewed their home.

Children this age don't process differences in the same way older children and adults do. They view things in a matter of fact way. That child might feel proud or happy that they live in a B&B. Why are you assuming it's something to be ashamed of regardless of circumstance?

I would assume that comparisons between children (where appropriate) were important as a learning tool as it makes the subject relevant to them. Abstract ideas for small children surely makes it harder for them to understand?

Lastly, if the parent has an issue then they can approach the school rather than you being offended on their behalf not knowing the circumstances and assuming the worst without actually knowing the situation.

Oh that is absolutely awful. We were homeless in a B&B when I was in primary school. This would have crushed me my parents would have been so upset to have it sent around.

i agree it is over analysis, it is meant for the children to see what sort of homes there are
no need for any further thought to it, the children wont care

I missed that it was sent to parents, that’s bloody awful. In that case I wouldn’t suggest what I said re numbers. If they are trying to teach about different housing etc conditions they should do it with figures for the population - this number is X and that number Y.

They should not single out any of the children.

When I was in primary school a classmate was in a terrible situation- abusive family, never had clean clothes, smelt of pee. The teacher always told this child to go to lunch before the rest of the class “to get your free lunch”

Even as a child I knew that was wrong.

@sashh

Not only is it thoughtless it's a breach of data protection.

Give over. Of course it isn't

@MrsLargeEmbodied

i agree it is over analysis, it is meant for the children to see what sort of homes there are no need for any further thought to it, the children wont care

I cared when I was 6/7. I became aware of differences purely because Of an exercise like this. Until then it hadn’t even occurred to me.

Dread to think when the teacher moves onto a counting or money topic and gets the children to check their parents' income and savings to put in a pie chart. Your post, OP, shows an astonishingly tin-eared exercise about housing and I would be, in this case, 'that' parent who had a word with the head if the teacher wasn't able to hear feedback.

@Smidgy I don’t think it would have occurred to the kids that it could mean one child is richer, another poorer etc. as they’re only 5/6. I don’t think kids that age do really notice unless there are very obvious discrepancies. It was more the fact that it was sent to all the parents and it was very identifying who lived where. Again, not an issue really if it’s just houses, bungalows, flats but having a B&B there, and that it was clearly added in later means that you automatically look at it and see who lives there. I wouldn’t be happy if I was that parent.

@Legoisthebest

Surely activities like this will stop bullying among children about where children are living. Children generally don't care about other people's different lives other than it's interesting. They don't care that one lives in a mansion and one in B&B until adults put the negative ideas about that in their heads.

@Legoisthe best. I do agree with a lot of the content of your posts. You are right as in children don't care about differences apart from interest. However a lot of adults find it very difficult to mind their own business and to keep their mouths shut. Therefore this negativity relays down through the children. Being different for whatever reason does indeed lead to an awful lot of bullying.