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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to actually take notice of the recommended age on toys?

81 replies

ceebee74 · 01/01/2008 19:33

I have always thought that the recommended age on toys is there for a reason (i.e. for safety reasons, or even that the child wouldn't know how to play with it) - what do others think?

DH's cousin bought DS (18 mo) a toy for age 3+ for Christmas - MIL thought I was being petty in saying that it was inappropriate (we have had this argument before as she keeps trying to buy DS 3+ toys).

AIBU??

OP posts:
Emprexia · 01/01/2008 21:52

i dont think their always that accurate anyway.

Last xmas someone bought my then 4mo a toy for 6mo+ He only just figured out how it works at 15mo old lmoa.

FTr, it was one of those spinners where you press the top down and it spins the inside.

Eddas · 01/01/2008 22:00

someone bought my ds a toy aeroplane. Age on the box 3+. He's nearly 9 months SO it's in the cupboard for 2 years time!

DD also got bought a game, admittidly it says age 4 on the box(she's 3.7) BUT it's hangman How many 3 year old can spell out words? so that is also in the cupboard for later on.

And they were both bought by the same person!

Still at least they'll get used when they're older. So YANBU BUT don't bother worrying just say 'thanks that'll be great when they get older' and hope they take the hint!

sweetkitty · 01/01/2008 22:08

Depends on the toy

DD1 got Barbies for Christmas, she's 3.5yo but DD2 is 1.11yo. DD2 thinks she is 3.5yo and has never played with "baby toys" so I got the Barbies out the hideous packaging and confiscate anything small, I do it with everything all small bits go in a big jar out of reach.

I think it's up to the parents to use their judgment TBH.

Twinklemegan · 01/01/2008 23:01

Virtually all DS's pressies from us were 3+ (he's 17 months). I just can't be inspired by the stuff on the market for his age-group. In all cases we'd spotted and chosen the things before seeing they were 3+. As we could see no serious reason why that should be the case, and we wouldn't leave him with them unsupervised, we went ahead anyway.

I think some of the 3+ recommendations are pretty ludicrous tbh.

Clary · 01/01/2008 23:13

All mine had the Bob the Builder toys (the push and go Lofty etc) at 18mo-2yrs, they are labelled 3+ but I honestly cannot see any reason.

Also Brio is 3+ but really why? I have never seen a magnet on it look at all liekly to break off. Mine had it from 2yrs.

Sthg like playmobil tho is another matter. Also a lot of creative/craft stuff is too hard for younger ones (and rightly says so) IME.

Postman Pat van sounds fine.

WriggleJiggle · 01/01/2008 23:19

So those people who wouldn't give a 3+ toy to an 18 month old - how do you deal with toys and differenly aged siblings?

Twinklemegan · 01/01/2008 23:22

Being the cynic that I am, making all the more interesting toys 3+ does create another income stream for toy companies to cover that awkward period after they've outgrown the baby stuff.

MadamePlatypus · 02/01/2008 08:01

I think there is a difference between deciding for yourself that a toy is OK for your child and giving somebody else's child a toy with a sign saying that it isn't safe for the recipient. Re: sweetkitty's Barbie example, I wouldn't be worried about DD coming across a Barbie and playing with it, but if somebody bought her one as a present I wouldn't be very impressed.

LunarSea · 02/01/2008 08:48

We don't buy many toys new - and as they usually don't come wih the original packaging from car boot sales/charity shops I have no doubt bought toys which are not rated suitable. However I know my kids abilities, and make judgements on that basis, and on the toy itself.

What do those who are sticklers for this do if they go out to playgroups etc, where none of the toys will have labels on saying which age they are for?

sweetkitty · 02/01/2008 08:48

The vast majority of the toys DD2 got for Christmas were 3+ (she's almost 2) this is because most toys that were bought were duplicate i.e. she got the same as DD1 to stop them fighting (it doesn't!) DD2's pram and doll from Santa for eg are 3+ but they are a big pram and doll no bits.

If I stopped DD2 playing with DD1's Barbie's for example DD1 would have most of her toys confiscated apart from an hour a day when DD2 is napping.

Instead I take the small plastic tat that comes with them away and they can play together.

DaisyMoo · 02/01/2008 09:42

We had that van about 4 years ago. I hid it after a few weeks because the whirring noise the wheels made on our wooden floors drove me insane. Unfortunately I forgot where I hid it until a few months ago when it turned up just in time for ds3 to enjoy it

I remember a first-time mother coming here once with her 1 yo and being absolutely horrified that there were toys with little pieces lying around - when you have older children it is very, very difficult to make sure that there are never any inappropriate toys around. I have to say, I've never really found that mine have put toys in their mouths much past 9 or 10 months anyway and it was my 3 yo who swallowed a toy on one occasion!

kslatts · 02/01/2008 09:43

I think yabu (a bit), my dd's had toys that were for 3+ when they were younger than that, we obviously checkedd them for small parts before we let them play with them.

mummymagic · 02/01/2008 10:55

MadamePlatypus, but that goes for all gifts though - safety or taste. TWO PEOPLE bought my 20mth dd the same ghastly Winnie the Pooh book - it's just horrible. But you have to smile sweetly and say thank you.

We had lots of things for dd that are too old for her (usually well-meaning relatives who think she is really advanced ). Some she has surprised us by really enjoying, but others I think she will get more out of later. At this age they can play a bit supervised by you (if it is chokable) and then you can put it in a cupboard for later, no big deal. It's nice to have things to give them in 3 mths, 6 mths time!

You can also let them play with more dangerous things supervised so WITH you - and teach them how to be careful. How is a 3 year old suddenly going to know how to deal with tiny things (ie don't put them in your mouth) if they have never played with them before?

SatsumaMoon · 02/01/2008 11:01

Ds2 had that Postman Pat van - he is still 3 and has already outgrown it (in the sense that he doesn't play with it anymore) so I've passed it on to someone else. He's had it for at least two years - don't remember noticing an over-3 label on the box tbh and he never had any trouble with it.... but he is my third so he's always played with "older" toys anyway!

colditz · 02/01/2008 11:05

What would you do if you had a 4 year old too? bar the 4 year old from having toys out?

In reality, children learn very quickly that anything put in their mouths will be confiscated. I'm afraid I agree with your MIL

Original poster
ceebee74 · 02/01/2008 12:19

Thanks for the messages - I get the picture that I am being unreasonable but as I said previously, I am blaming PFB syndrome for it!

Unfortunately DS has always put everything straight into his mouth - and still does now at 18 months old.

I am not going to take the van off him as he does enjoy playing with it although I keep finding Postman Pat and Jess in the strangest of places.

But I still would not buy a present for someone with a recommended age on it which was older than the child was - it just doesn't seem right to me. It is one thing for parents to decide what their children can or cannot play with - but another to make that decision for someone else's child.

OP posts:
colditz · 02/01/2008 12:29

But they didn't make the decision - they made the decision to give it as a gift, but you made the decision to let him play with it.

Same with my ds1 and the spudgun. To me it may be a symbol of violence and oppression, but to him it is a coolest of cool way to flick tiny weeny pieces of potato around and not get told off.

doesn't mean it was a bad present though - and it said 6 plus, and he is 4.

Anchovy · 02/01/2008 12:29

Ceebee I'm glad you said "pfb" as that was what I was thinking (in the nicest, most non judgmental manner, obviously )

When you have more than one, they just tend to play with what they like and as long as it is not actively dangerous (magnetic-y things, for example) I tend to let them get on with it. DD (4) is very taken with DS's (6) Star Wars stuff - it is a bit odd when a 4 year old girl points at you with a light sabre and says in a deep voice "I-AM-YOUR-FATHER" but you sort of get used to it!

TBH I usually buy presents slightly upwards as it is better to have something for them to "grow into" (plus it is not insulting as it implies their child is a genius). Getting presents that are too young for them is pretty disappointing.

MrsCarrot · 02/01/2008 12:33

We didn't give our 11 month old this hideous singing reindeer from his Uncle. It had no safety mark and the fur was peeling off to reveal weird brown glue in clumps, probably toxic.

I think he must got it off a market somewhere and would have no idea it was in appropriate. I might not mention it, it was kind of him to choose something for each of the dcs.

Gameboy · 02/01/2008 12:39

ceebee74 - oh dear, you'd HATE me if I ever bought stuff for your children, as I ALWAYS buy birthday presents 'ahead' of their ages. My theory is that they will get lots of 'exactly' age-appropriate stuff anyway, and it's always nice to have something for them to grow into.
Agree with all the caveats about small pieces etc i.e. wouldn't buy magnetix for a toddler etc.

DaisyMoo · 02/01/2008 12:52

Does the cousin have children of his/her own? As a fairly experienced parent I tend to use my own judgement about the suitability of toys (for other people's children too, not just my own) rather than just go by what it says on the pack. I often have a giggle in ELC about some of the age 'restrictions' on stuff because they're patently barmy!

Washersaurus · 02/01/2008 13:41

Well Mrs Carrot I can beat that - My dad gave DS2 (5mo) a singing "choke-a-duck", yes, it is a duck you can throttle to make it cough and splutter! The boys def will never be given it to play with as it is bad on so many levels!

Washersaurus · 02/01/2008 13:46

Just to share my pain - it was the same as this one

Iklboo · 02/01/2008 13:47

We get DS puzzles that are aimed for 3+ but that's cos he likes doing them. Also got him Bounce Bounce Tigger for Xmas and it's his favourite present (he's 2).
If the toys have really small bits we won't touch them but if they're designed for 'older' children we might so he can be stimulated.
When push comes to shove - it's YOUR DS and you get to decide what's appropriate to play with and what isn't.
DS has had some toys at Xmas that are too old for his so we've put them away till he's old enough

DoesntTheFestiveSeasonDragOn · 02/01/2008 13:48

Age appropriateness only applies to first-born children. Subsequent children grow up surrounded by inappropriate toys and it's nigh on impossible to stop them playing with them.

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