To need advice on how to broach this holiday topic with friends?

[Lucia23]

I'm a single woman living in UK - I lived abroad for years and made friends with let's say Anna and Chris who ended up in a relationship together. I also befriended Sarah, one of Anna's friends.

I haven't seen them since before the lockdowns and we are planning to meet in the country we all used to live in, meeting up with old friends as we go. The idea was that I would fit around their plans when I got time off work but now it is clear they want to book with me. Sarah will also join for part of the trip then go home so then it will be 3 of us.

The conundrum is I don't want to share accommodation with them for the whole trip, especially just us 3.

There are various reasons for this: I love both my friends but they have a rocky relationship and have been fighting lately. I don't want to be stuck with just them in case it kicks off. Secondly, I like my freedom & want to have my own space for a few days. I am an introverted extrovert and will need it by then.

I don't know how to broach this with them without offending, wwyd?

Hi friend, happy to book with you but I need my own room ....

Just literally what you want.
Happy to book same hotel etc but I want my own room.
Your over thinking it, it's absolutely fine.

What @FawnFrenchieMum said. No point in complicating it.

Not just my own room, but I'd like my own apartment for second part of the trip - you can get some great little studio ones there. That is when I'll be catching up with my friends and I really want to just have the freedom to come and go as I please, and have my own space.

It's a bit awkward to broach but that is what I want to do and it is my downtime too.

@ChittyBangs I think hotel is unlikely. I think they'll be going for apartments. Hence it being a but awkward not wanting to share for second part of the trip.

Just let them know "By the way I'm booking my own accommodation, looking in XX area." If they ask about sharing just laugh it off "Ha ha, I'm too old to share" or "I like my own space". or "I don't want to be the lightbulb!" or "2's company 3 is a crowd" If they really push it I'd tell them why you don't want to share!

We actually had something similar with Sis/BIL, they argue all the time and when we had a family event they also wanted to share. They kept insisting and in the end I said "Look, I'm sorry but you argue a lot, not a problem if you're happy with that but I'm not, so we'll be in our own space". They didn't like it... but honestly it's their issue not yours.

[quote Lucia23]@ChittyBangs I think hotel is unlikely. I think they'll be going for apartments. Hence it being a but awkward not wanting to share for second part of the trip.[/quote]
I still think it's fine.
I like my own space etc so I'll sort my own accommodation out.

Ok hi Friend, as I’m using quite a bit of my annual leave for this, I’m happy to share for part of the trip but the second half I really need some down time to relax so want my own room.

Or just brazen it out

"You know the rule, 6 nights is my absolute limit for sharing my space so I've booked my own studio for the 2nd week"

Just tell them you’re booking for yourself and they’re not staying. That’s it, nothing difficult. If they get annoyed then they aren’t your friends.

Just bring up your original plan and tell them that you want to stick to that.

You're going to be meeting your friends and them theirs so your own space is important to you so you are happy to share accommodation costs for days A-B, but for X-Y you'll be booking your own.

If they kick off then just book your own space for the whole time and do your own thing.

Just crack on and book something, present it as a done deal ?

Fab, can't wait to catch up. I'm going to get my own little studio apartment as I'll be catching up with other friends as well but we can look for something close by?

“Don’t worry about me on the second part of the trip/x dates guys. I was fully aware I’d need some space of my own by then so planning on renting a little studio and meeting other friends as well as you. X restaurant y activity looks good, shall we get that booked?”

I shouldn't be agonising over it really. I should be able to do just do what I want without feeling I need excuses!

To be honest my friend knows she has been confiding about their arguments etc so not sure how surprised she will be. If she is a bit put out, that's a shame - but I need to think of my own relaxation and mental health too.

I think I’d want my own space irrelevant of the arguments so I’d probably leave out any reference to that and just say you’d like your own apartment as you like your own space and appreciate they’ll want some couple time anyway.