To think a diagnosis would help DP?

[ash89x]

I've been with DP for 15 years and I'm finding some of his 'quirks' increasingly frustrating.

He had a hearing test a few years ago because he was missing a lot of what people were saying and his hearing came back as perfect, he was told he just wasn't listening. He has trouble sitting down to watch a film or tv show, has never been able to finish a book. His memory is terrible.

He's very socially awkward to the point I don't tend to take him out with other friends anymore as it's bad for both of us. He says the most inappropriate things and has no filter whether its us in the house or he's with my friends or strangers.

He owns his own company and works by himself so he's not having that many interactions and most times he comes home and tells me that people have reacted strangely to what he's said. He was working at a wedding and the bride asked if he liked her dress and he replied 'looks the same as all the others' and he genuinely can't comprehend why she was off with him after that.

A few years ago he told me he had wanted to go to a concert (that had passed) but hadn't said anything at the time incase I didn't want to go. I sent him a message this morning to say that the band are touring again and he replied "why are you sending me this?". He reacts negatively to a lot of my suggestions and then tells me afterwards (when I've gone with friends instead) that he actually did want to go.

He has a lot of excellent qualities but I'm finding this increasingly frustrating and I'm wondering if pursuing some kind of diagnosis would help. And which one?

OP, you have pretty much described my DH

I recently read a post on here about dyspraxia (which I previously thought was just not being able to catch a ball / ride a bike etc) Of the list of 40 plus traits on the national website, DH has 31. I'm not sure what we are going to do with that information, but DH veers between wanting an explanation as to why some things are so hard for him, and saying he's not bothered. I do feel that in a way a diagnosis would be as much for me as for him, as it would allow me to accept why he can be so painfully difficult at times.

The only other thing I will say is that as DH approaches retirement, the inevitable slowing down has not been kind to him and he does appear to be either getting worse, or not covering it up so well. We are currently mid house purchase and there are times during the process where I can see how people suddenly snap and murder their nearest and dearest

I've just had a look at the symptoms for dyspraxia and a lot of that is ringing true...

He gets a lot of words wrong as well. He told me his cousin has polyphonic ovaries. His speech can go a bit funny when he's overexcited and the order of his words get jumbled up.

My DP has quite severe mental health problems and while he wasn't affected socially as much as yours, he had this feeling of being 'not normal' when he was younger.

He was diagnosed in his early 20's and he said having a name for it gave him such a sense of relief. He could look up symptoms and join chat forums and not feel so alone. He has also been prescribed medications which made a huge difference to him.

He's struggling just now so it's not all plain sailing once you're diagnosed but it might help him feel more at peace with himself.