Love Bombing - red flag?

[Cheeseandlobster]

This is a random musing after a few drinks so potentially not as articulate as I would like. But I have been thinking about 2 very different types of threads on here. So the first is usually in relationships where a poster says her new partner did everything perfectly in the early stages. Attentive, full of compliments, declaration of feelings etc. But has changed lately and isn't the same. A lot of people come onto the thread to say love Bombing is unsustainable and a huge red flag for the future. The second type of thread is usually in parenting where a child is acting out. Often the advice is "love Bomb them" so they know you love them and this should create a better bond. But surely this is unsustainable long term too? Why is this therefore positioned as a good idea?

I am genuinely confused. Is lovebombing a good or bad thing?

Context

To lure someone in, as a kind of 'bait and switch', it's bad.

To reassure a child in a difficult patch and coming from a parent who will be their rock come what may, then it can be absolutely fine (as long as it's not so very OTT that it fails in akind of parody)

@AuntieStella

Context

To lure someone in, as a kind of 'bait and switch', it's bad.

To reassure a child in a difficult patch and coming from a parent who will be their rock come what may, then it can be absolutely fine (as long as it's not so very OTT that it fails in akind of parody)

Thank you. In my sober mind that makes sense. I gave this a lot of thought last night

I'd hate love bombing, I'd rather know what I was getting from the word go and then I could decide fairly quickly whether he's worth it.
Not likely to happen though, am 20 years married

As far as I know, the term love bombing was used first as a way to describe how cults reel people in. Then it was used much more recently by child psychologist Oliver James to mean something like unconditional love and attention by parents for their children, which of course he sees as positive. I remember wondering if he was aware of the genealogy of the term at the time, as I had only heard it in the former context. I suppose the the two usages are linked in that, if a cult group starts off by making you feel loved and wanted, it had very powerful tool for keeping you there, especially if you did not get the love you needed as a child.