My daughter has just turned a year old and my partner (her dad) has managed to rock her to sleep for the first time whilst I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Admittedly she had been up almost 7 hours, so she was knackered.
During the past year I have done every single nap (unless she was in the car with me or in the carrier with me) and every single bed time and every single wake up.
A few months back we had a huge row because he had never tried more than 10 minutes rocking on a few occasions (you could count them on one hand) to try to soothe her to sleep. I have made my feelings clear that I resent this. He claimed he had tried loads (I swear he really really didn't) and that she "couldn't" go to sleep without the boob. It was impossible. At the time I did remind him this was ridiculous seeing as she falls asleep in the carrier occasionally and in the car. I called him deluded, selfish, lazy and a bad partner. I was mad.
After he managed to put her to sleep this evening I was glad but also a little emotional. You might understand, but to be needed to such a degree that my own needs constantly take a back seat, even basic things like going to the toilet and having a shower then suddenly not to be needed, after a year, just feels hard. So I was telling him how i felt and obviously talked about how hard it has been to be needed for every single sleep and wake up because he didn't do any, he got defensive and started saying the same comments about how he did try and he said he doesn't care how I feel and he doesn't know what's wrong with me that I can't just be happy why do I have to start saying he didn't do enough again.
I said I'm not going to change the factual narrative to make him feel better because it has been hard on me and he's never apologised and he has never really tried. SORRY BUT TEN MINUTES IS NOT TRYING.
AIBU please?