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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I too old to be a midwife

81 replies

goodnightgrumble · 13/02/2022 15:23

So I am 47 (only just) and a primary school teacher. I would like to retrain to be a midwife but. It sure if I will be considered too old. I will need biology or an access before I start so I will be 51 when I qualify! My current degree is primary Ed with English so not relevant at all.

My children are older now (I have 5) and I feel that I am in a position to finally retrain! What do you think? I am not bothered to be in classes with younger ones but would like some real honest opinions from midwives or mature students.
Funding not a problem as I funded my degree first time round.

OP posts:
Simonesignoret · 13/02/2022 19:02

@alfreddo87 as a 'senior nurse' (like every nurse on MN Hmm) surely you don't do nights ? From my experience the higher up the management ladder the less the stress and physical/emotional challenges. Just endless meetings and delegating.

Kitkat151 · 13/02/2022 19:08

[quote Simonesignoret]**@alfreddo87* as a 'senior nurse' (like every nurse on MN Hmm) surely you don't do nights ? From my experience the higher up the management ladder the less* the stress and physical/emotional challenges. Just endless meetings and delegating.[/quote]
Band 6 would be classed as ‘senior’....so a junior sister would definately still be on a rota for nights.....someone needs to be in charge of a ward

Original poster
goodnightgrumble · 13/02/2022 19:21

I apologise! I did not mean it to sound demeaning to younger midwives. Just the comment about you will be ready for retirement wound me up!
I meant to get across that I would be trained like any other person that has done the training!

OP posts:
Original poster
goodnightgrumble · 13/02/2022 19:22

@lulubelle6

I don't think the OP was saying she was more experienced than a 22 year old she was saying that at least she would have an understanding of actually going through labour rather than someone 22 that hasn't experienced it! To be honest I'd rather have OP knowing exactly what I'm going through and can understand the pain and fear compared to someone who hasn't!! People are so quick to jump on an issue! Go for it OP it sounds amazing.
This! Thankyou!
OP posts:
Original poster
goodnightgrumble · 13/02/2022 19:30

@titchy

Giving birth five times between the ages of 23 and 40 would also make me more experienced than a midwife who has trained at 21!

You were at the business end for none of your births. How arrogant.

I was been defensive not arrogant as the previous poster said I would be inexperienced! Maybe I worded it wrong but I meant that I would be just as experienced as any other midwife. have the emotional and physical experience of giving birth. I myself, found more of a connection with midwives who had experienced birth themselves. Of course the midwives who haven't given birth were incredible but I found it more comfortable to be with someone who understood. My experience will not be the same for everyone. Some won't give a shit!
OP posts:
Ironingoutthecreases · 13/02/2022 19:43

If you do apply OP, I would focus on your transferable skills from teaching (safeguarding etc), rather than being a mother. The ratio of applicants (who meet the entry criteria) to places is around 28:1.

Justanotherfaceinthecrowd · 13/02/2022 19:46

Wuth that attitude please dont apply 🙄

tothemoonandbackbuses · 13/02/2022 20:08

I think it’s funny how anyone can think a class of 6 year old is easyGrin

I had fantastic students midwives who most likely didn’t have children. But my midwife for antenatal care with my second had one child and had had a cs it was lovely for her to say for some of us birth doesn’t work out as planned and there’s nothing wrong with a cs. Where as postnatal my first time round it was almost as if I had to explain why it hadn’t worked. Most midwives bring something different/xtra to the role and having 5 kids would possibly be yours.

alfreddo87 · 13/02/2022 20:31

[quote Simonesignoret]**@alfreddo87* as a 'senior nurse' (like every nurse on MN Hmm) surely you don't do nights ? From my experience the higher up the management ladder the less* the stress and physical/emotional challenges. Just endless meetings and delegating.[/quote]
@Simonesignoret I am a Band 7 clinical coordinator who is runs a hospital after hours when all the other managers have gone home to their beds. I work permanent 12 hour nightshifts with the occasional weekend dayshift.

Given that I am responsible for a whole hospital whilst at work and have done that job for just over 5 years, with a total of 15 years experience in nursing, I feel I am entitled to call myself a 'senior' nurse? Enlighten me if you think differently.

Secretsout · 13/02/2022 20:59

I'm a midwife and I see two sides to this.

On the one side I think you should follow your passion. Age has nothing to do with it as the profession attracts anyone in the range of 18-60.

I usually prefer to work with students who are at least 22+ as I feel the 18-19 year old typically lack life experience and the ability to connect and communicate with women. The best students I've had are those who have been HCA's and MSW's as they have followed this path fully aware of how tough the job is.

On the other side, I cannot emphasis what an extremely tough job it is. It is physically and mentally demanding beyond anything you could imagine and the working conditions in the NHS are awful and we are so very stretched.

I'm a very strong person but on a daily basis you feel you are working in panic mode and worrying about making mistakes due to how stretched you are.

The pre-reg course is tough too and combined with long shift working it's a bloody hard graft.

When my DD asked me to talk to one of her friends who was looking at Uni courses and wanted to be a midwife I told her not to bother and find a job with less stress, more money and where she was valued at work and in society.

Ynotme · 13/02/2022 21:44

Oh gosh, this thread has got me questioning myself. I'm 45 and have enrolled in an Access course to hopefully train into midwifery.
It's something I've always wanted to do, but it's never been the right time until now.
Op i don't think you are too old to retrain at all. But maybe we are too old for the stress 😬😅

XenoBitch · 13/02/2022 21:47

@Ynotme

Oh gosh, this thread has got me questioning myself. I'm 45 and have enrolled in an Access course to hopefully train into midwifery. It's something I've always wanted to do, but it's never been the right time until now. Op i don't think you are too old to retrain at all. But maybe we are too old for the stress 😬😅
Go for it. I did Access to Nursing in my 30s, but there were several in my cohort in their late 40s and early 50s. Went on to be ODPs and OTs.
Murphs1 · 13/02/2022 21:55

If it’s something you want to do, then go for it. I have been a nurse since I was 20 and I am the same age as you now. It is stressful and hard work but can also unbelievably rewarding at times. Working conditions as others have said are unimaginably tough at the moment, but don’t let this deter you. As other posters have mentioned, it may be worth working as a Maternity care support worker before hand to see if it’s what you want to do, prior to signing up for the full training. And I also believe having children will help you empathise with other women, I did not think from your post you were saying you are better qualified than the NQ midwives.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 13/02/2022 22:26

If you’ve had no medical experience before OP my advice is to get on the bank and do some shifts as a HCA, just because you’re training to be a midwife wouldn’t absolve you of the basics of nursing. I am a 2nd year student nurse with 15 years care experience under my belt, the last 6 in community nursing. The hours are long, the uni work is hard going and all of that on top of a family is something to consider if you have been out of uni for a long time.

Also can you take the hit financially as it’ll be bursary or loan depending where you are?

allgettingtoomuch · 14/02/2022 09:39

No I prefer an older midwife to be honest, the one I have now is 22 and I just don't know how to feel about it 😫

Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 14/02/2022 09:45

Why would I be inexperienced with full training?? Giving birth five times between the ages of 23 and 40 would also make me more experienced than a midwife who has trained at 21!

With that attitude you won’t last long as as student MW!

Training to be a midwife is so much different to giving birth, yes you may have empathy as you’ve done it yourself, however giving birth doesn’t give you more experience than a qualified midwife.

I’ll also be honest I’m in my late 40’s and was a student midwife and left, the shifts and studying are hard and I was knackered all of the time to the point it made me ill.

Canaloha · 14/02/2022 09:49

@allgettingtoomuch

No I prefer an older midwife to be honest, the one I have now is 22 and I just don't know how to feel about it 😫
Why?
cdba88 · 14/02/2022 13:03

I'm a second year student midwife, just over half way through my training. I worked in the NHS before I started my training and thought I knew what it would be like.

I'm going to be honest, in your position I wouldn't do it. I don't think people actually know what the job entails at all. People think they know, they know it's hard, but not just how hard.

No beating around the bush, the working conditions are appalling.

It is a hugely stressful role.

It's physically and mentally demanding.

If you have any more specific questions about the role, placements, or uni feel free to ask.

cdba88 · 14/02/2022 13:05

Also, I will say having had children yourself doesn't make you a better midwife. It just doesn't!

figuringoutmylife · 14/02/2022 13:21

If you want to do it and can afford to, then do it! Maybe you’ll work part time for longer than someone who trained younger. I have a friend who became a nurse in her 40’s and it’s been the best thing she’s ever done!

You also have lots of life & practical experience. That can be a really good asset in a midwife. Good luck!

figuringoutmylife · 14/02/2022 13:22

Just remembered I have a friend who will qualify later this year as a midwife. She’s in her 40’s with three young children. I realize this is younger than 51 but she has no regrets and said there’s many in their 30’s and 40’s on her course.

betwixtlives · 14/02/2022 13:55

@Simonesignoret

You will still be inexperienced at 51 despite having 5 children. Tbh that kind of attitude will definitely wind your younger colleagues up who are childless.
Agreed. Watch your attitude OP
HappyDays40 · 14/02/2022 14:08

I qm not entirely sure you giving birth five times makes you more experienced than a21 year old. I think it makes you more able to understand the feelings but certainly not more capable of looking after women.Hmm

NorthSouthcatlady · 14/02/2022 14:08

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Life experience is helpful in those kind of roles and you’re a similar age to me, so you will be working forever anyway. As others have said competition is high, some work experience or volunteering would stand you in good stead. I’m amused at the cushty teaching job that OP allegedly has Confused. I’m a mental health nurse of 10 years, l would sprint the other way from 30 primary school children!

cultkid · 14/02/2022 14:09

Go for it!!