Partner's dog

[depechegal]

AIBU to think my partner should have told me he was adopting his aunt's dog last year? We don't live together but the dog is totally incontinent and I'm fed up of treading in dog shit in the house.
I'm also post covid asthmatic, surely urine fumes aren't conducive to good lungs?

Just to add, dog is 15 and senile

I think if you don't live with him you don't really get a say.

But I'd never, ever go round to his house if that's the case.

If he's 15 he won't be around for very much longer

I'd never see my partner if that's the case. He's not local to me so he'd have to bring the dog.
Im pretty sure my cat wouldn't like it and besides, I don't want him peeing all over my new carpet and I don't have a garden

I imagine the only other option was to euthanise the dog. At 15 he hasn’t got long so I think you just accept that’s part of owning animals.

Are you going to kick your cat out when they get elderly and have accidents?

His house, his dog, his choice.

My cat is very elderly herself. She's been trained, the dog hasn't. Big difference

Urine fumes 😆

… I’m sure on some vet programme I saw incontinent dogs in nappies - saves you treading in it

You can get washable nappies for dogs, they can be used for incontinence or seasons. My mum's a dog walker and occasionally one rather ancient and leaky boxer used to come back to ours. The owners provided (and used themselves) these nappies. They weren't amazing but we're better than the near constant dribble. Unless the dogs in pain or fearful then putting them to sleep right now might not be the right answer despite the incontinence. Suggest the nappies, you can probably get them from a pets at home or on Amazon and it should help but I'd recommend getting more than you think you'll need as you'll be waiting for them to air dry (or radiator) as I don't think you can tumble dry them.

I still wouldn't go round.

His choice if he leaves the dog for a bit to go meet you somewhere. If not, I'd think about ending the relationship if you don't get to see each other.

It feels like you want people to agree that he needs to either re-home the dog or have it put to sleep. I think you have to either accept he's got the dog now and stop moaning about it or put the relationship on hold.

@depechegal

My cat is very elderly herself. She's been trained, the dog hasn't. Big difference

The dog is incontinent because it’s 15 and senile. It’s not about the dog not being toilet trained. They can’t help it.

There's nappies for incontinent dogs. Can't you suggest them to your partner?

Sounds like a lovely thing he did. YABU you don't live there

He sounds like a lovely guy. Not convinced the situation is at terrible as you’re making out. Why would he want to live in a house like that?

You’re reaching with the asthma comment.

@depechegal

My cat is very elderly herself. She's been trained, the dog hasn't. Big difference

Well dog hasn’t been trained is entirely different to the dog is 15 and senile. When your cat is old he/she will also probably become incontinent.

If you don’t want to to go to your partner’s house because of the dog/ poop then don’t go.

@depechegal

My cat is very elderly herself. She's been trained, the dog hasn't. Big difference

You said incontinent. If your cat gets incontinent being trained won't make a blind bit of difference. What do you want him to do?

YABU as you don't live together.

You just have to decide whether it's a deal breaker for you or not.