To think This Is Going To Hurt is awful to women?

[justanoldhack]

Watching the show and can't help but shake a really uncomfortable feeling that its writer just...really doesn't like women.

I get that doctors are super overstretched, so tired, giving the job everything at the expense of their personal lives. I also get that it's a 'comedy' and not real, although it is based on his true life experiences.

But the way the women are portrayed as silly, a nuisance, stupid, battleaxes, or simply a vessel that 'covers his pubes in blood'... feels so off. These are women at one of the most vulnerable moments in their lives, but they're just props, the butt of the jokes. I can't shake the feeling that Adam Kay really, really doesn't like women. Definitely does not respect them.

Thanks goodness, I guess, that he's not longer practicing medicine. And not surprised either to learn that when he was younger he wrote 'comedy' songs about babies with Down's Syndrome and women from the North.

I know exactly what you mean.

His attitude is so common amongst doctors and midwives and is one of the reasons women in general are receiving a shit deal in health care. We are simply not listened to and made to feel an inconvenience for ever stepping a toe out of line.

I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing he isn't practicing medicine.

I think it’s probably more of a reflection on the NHS and how patients are reduced to their most irritating feature.

There was no time to get to know people on any deeper level or work out problems not immediately related to the issue they were in hospital for.

Each patient literally becomes a number in a long line of problems to be dealt with that day rather than a person.

I’m fully aware some NHS staff manage to combine caring for each patient individually with providing excellent medical care as well but I’ve definitely come across some who have not - and when you’ve been awake for 36 hours straight probably the social niceties are the first to go out the window.

There does seem to be something seriously wrong with a system that encourages medics to dehumanise women to that extent, and also be proud enough about it to write about it (and make a shitload of money out of it, too)

The NHS hates women full stop

YANBU. I think it’s horrific. Women portrayed as inconvenient pieces of meat, ripe to be mocked at their most vulnerable.

Doctors like this are part of why women are traumatised, day after day, by maternity ‘care’. And this misogyny is so engrained that a state broadcaster puts this on TV an entertainment so people can have a jolly old laugh about it.

YANBU

I've just watched it and it wasn't nearly as misogynistic as I expected it would be. The character of Tracy who sees right through him and isn't shy of saying so, the character of Shruti who stands up to him and is the true hero, the really good doctor among them all, give balance to the piece, as does the rather odd character of the inarticulate, self- absorbed wise-cracking female consultant who nevertheless gives Shruti her first proper chances at becoming an obstetrician.

The absolute arse of a consultant who is worse than Adam, abuses the NHS and lies without any guilt, shows he is capable of judging men just as harshly. Welly, the new best man to Greg is just as gross a caricature of men as any of the female characters are of women.

And he judges no one more harshly than himself. His treatment of Mist's mother, of Shruti, of Harry at the engagement party etc is so awful. He's been honest about what a shitstorm of a human he was.

I couldn't help wondering if his mother really was that appallingly cold and cruel and snobbish towards him. If so, you can imagine how early in life he had to put up a shell of mistrust and cruelty as a preventative against attack.

YANBU, having read the book I found his attitude awful and im refusing to watch the series.
Horrible attitude toward women, religious beliefs, anyone really. Thanks God he doesnt practice any more

I agree OP but it's only women so I guess nobody cares.

I completely agree, OP.

Have you seen the other two longish threads on this? They make interesting reading too.

I’m a retired doctor, and the majority of my colleagues were nothing like this.
Kay is just a particularly unpleasant misogynist shit.
Even the narcissistic consultant surgeons I worked with, who could be complete knobs to colleagues, were always unfailingly courteous and kindly to their patients, who revered them.
Anyone prepared to give Kay the benefit of the doubt should listen to the lyrics of his “comic” song “Your baby has trisomy”, to the tune of My baby just cares for me.
It includes the lines
“A bit of a Mong, your baby
Your baby has trisom, it’s what he will die from”
If he was still a doctor, I’d be phoning the GMC.

I didn't get that at all from it.

@Babdoc

I’m a retired doctor, and the majority of my colleagues were nothing like this. Kay is just a particularly unpleasant misogynist shit. Even the narcissistic consultant surgeons I worked with, who could be complete knobs to colleagues, were always unfailingly courteous and kindly to their patients, who revered them. Anyone prepared to give Kay the benefit of the doubt should listen to the lyrics of his “comic” song “Your baby has trisomy”, to the tune of My baby just cares for me. It includes the lines “A bit of a Mong, your baby Your baby has trisom, it’s what he will die from” If he was still a doctor, I’d be phoning the GMC.

Wow. That's grim.

I was being too generous. I hated the book but watching the series, I thought it showed how he was a product of the system of both his upbringing and the way the NHS worked at the time.

@Babdoc

I’m a retired doctor, and the majority of my colleagues were nothing like this. Kay is just a particularly unpleasant misogynist shit. Even the narcissistic consultant surgeons I worked with, who could be complete knobs to colleagues, were always unfailingly courteous and kindly to their patients, who revered them. Anyone prepared to give Kay the benefit of the doubt should listen to the lyrics of his “comic” song “Your baby has trisomy”, to the tune of My baby just cares for me. It includes the lines “A bit of a Mong, your baby Your baby has trisom, it’s what he will die from” If he was still a doctor, I’d be phoning the GMC.

I cannot bear him. I hated the trend by healthcare professionals to write ‘tell all’ books that was all the rage a few years ago. They really don’t sit well with me. I’m an ex- nurse myself and the idea of profiteering from the most distressing, intimate, private and lonely moments of people’s lives is just gross. The work is stressful and the NHS is monstrous (hence why I’m not in it anymore) but patients and families trust HCP’s to be discreet, professional and supportive at their most vulnerable moments. Changing a few names as lip service to maintaining confidentiality then going on to write and discuss the intimate details of people’s losses or medical histories where they could recognise themselves as having been treated by him. Even if they don’t, patients aren’t there as a source of amusing dinner party anecdotes and stand up material. He and all the others like him are POS.

@Babdoc

I’m a retired doctor, and the majority of my colleagues were nothing like this. Kay is just a particularly unpleasant misogynist shit. Even the narcissistic consultant surgeons I worked with, who could be complete knobs to colleagues, were always unfailingly courteous and kindly to their patients, who revered them. Anyone prepared to give Kay the benefit of the doubt should listen to the lyrics of his “comic” song “Your baby has trisomy”, to the tune of My baby just cares for me. It includes the lines “A bit of a Mong, your baby Your baby has trisom, it’s what he will die from” If he was still a doctor, I’d be phoning the GMC.

Headline of another sycophantic interview with him today had the headline he hasn't ruled out completely returning to practice medicine (yeah, sure).

I'm sure I've read multiple times that a lot of the anecdotes in his book are, err, "borrowed"

I've watched the first episode and I think I'm done. Sympathy to NHS workers (and masses of gratitude) but just didn't enjoy this at all.

thought it was a comedy,watched 1 episode total rubbish not one laugh off me ,have deleted the other ones wont bother wasting my time watching it

I found it infuriating and stopped watching. He comes across as an incredibly misogynistic, conceited, and arrogant individual.

The behaviour depicted is appalling.

Babdoc Thank you for your post.When in Hospital myself in 2006 ,I was treated with overwhelming kindness, by the whole medical team from the porter wheeling me to have my scan ,right up to the Senior Consultant . I had a burst cyst which had led to Sepsis . The Nurses and Doctors were second to none .I was alarmed at this programme ,watched once and decided not for me!

The problem I’m finding is that people are getting het up about the programme, and stop watching. If anyone got to the end, you’d see the entire story is about how the NHS affects doctors - old and new. The hours, the understaffing, the expectations, the pay. It’s shit.

I work in the nhs and I didn’t find it offensive. Just incredibly sad and relatable.

Particularly episode 6. People need to give it another chance

I hovered over this yesterday looking for something to watch - at first glance thought it was a 'warts an' all' documentary about a&e staff or something. I saw the words 'maternity' and 'lighthearted' or 'comedy' and clicked away.

Glad i did! I had a spidey sense who the butt of most of the jokes would be.

Yup makes me sick. Even the title is so disrespectful to women.

I don't know, I read the book and it came across more him blaming the NHS and the way the doctors are meant to work themselves to death at the beginning of their career before settling for the cushy consultant job for the failings of the system rather than him not liking women.