Wanting to challenge lies in a court document

[PeoniesGinandBags]

Bit of a weird/convoluted one but would welcome some advice from people on here....

My partner and his ex-wife have been separated and divorced for 9 years now. She's in a new relationship with someone who seems nice and obviously my parter is with me. They have two children of secondary school age.

There is quite a lot of conflict between the two of them - still. I can see both sides most of the time and intentionally do not get involved with any "issues" they have as I have my own ex husband to deal with.

Recently however my partner has needed to go back to court to try and "firm up" access arrangements with his children including phone calls during the week etc. All fine and good so far... it's important that both parents are involved in the lives of the children and they unfortunately still need a court to sort things out for them.

Last Monday his report came through from the social worker who had spoken to his daughters, him and his ex wife in an attempt to try and mediate between the group of them. I was shocked to see claims in this report about me... that I have emailed ex wife, harassed her via text message etc etc. It's all utter nonsense. I don't even have her phone number.

The ex-wife works for the police and I feel this adds a layer of credibility to what she says and it reads as the social worker has taken this at face value and said "we do not condone the actions of PeoniesGinandBags". No-one has spoken to me at all and to stress, it is completely and utterly without foundation.

Fuming doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now.., anger, upset - the lot. It explains why the girls are frosty with me a lot of the time and both of them have repeated these assertions to the social worker in the report.

How do I challenge this? Help - please. This kind of nonsense has gone on for so long now, it's getting me down.

Surely the social worker should not be making a judgement about me without asking me about what has allegedly taken place? Argh. I don't even know where to start. I feel like it's harassment but don't fancy the police route given how she works with them and I have zero faith...

I assume you’re not party to the negotiations or arrangements or mediation? So it’s your partner that needs to go into bat for you. He needs to ask for evidence of the texts or emails. ( which of course she doesn’t have). And take it from there.

Perhaps the threat of a formal complaint to the police will do the trick.

She will need evidence, so unless she has created evidence falsely I can't see how they can accuse you?

Are you sure your partner or his daughters haven't created an email or phone number and contacted her pretending to be you? (Sorry to be cynical, but I've seen this happen before)

@Onlywomengivebirth

I assume you’re not party to the negotiations or arrangements or mediation? So it’s your partner that needs to go into bat for you. He needs to ask for evidence of the texts or emails. ( which of course she doesn’t have). And take it from there.

Perhaps the threat of a formal complaint to the police will do the trick.

Hi, thanks for replying. No, I'm not involved at all in the negotiations as I didn't want to get embroiled in things with them as they're always so acrimonious.

I had thought to ask the solicitor, at the next court date, to challenge this part of the report and to ask ex-wife to clarify where this has come from etc. Then she could either say it "was a misunderstanding" - and then we request an addendum to the report - or she can lie in court and I'll have to take it from there with the police?

I know it sounds trivial to some people but it's honestly just relentless. I feel harassed :(

Ask your DH to speak to his solicitor to request proof. Not sure why else you can do really.

Oh it doesn’t sound trivial at all. I’d be fuming.

@Babyvenusplant

She will need evidence, so unless she has created evidence falsely I can't see how they can accuse you?

Are you sure your partner or his daughters haven't created an email or phone number and contacted her pretending to be you? (Sorry to be cynical, but I've seen this happen before)

This can be the only thing. As far as I know she has never had my phone number - like I said I have zero involvement and purposefully keep out of things. This has been an issue from the start though - her not wanting me to have any kind of relationship with her girls. I think this is why she says things about me... Now though I just feel as though we've crossed a line. I mean, malicious communications?

The girls are year 7 and 8 so I suppose could send an email but in the report they say that "PenoniesGinandHandbags sends our Mum horrible messages". When asked about how they know this they both said, "Mum told us". The social worker has then out the comment about not condemning my actions. WTF?!

We did have an issue a few months ago when one of the girls said to their Dad that I had been "hacking Mum's emails". I said that no, of course I hadn't;t and that if Mum's emails had been any kind of issue for her, she needed to contact her service provider. That night we got a phone call from the ex-wife who must have been worried, saying that DD1 had come up and commented on what she'd said. Ex-wife wanted to let us know it was a misunderstanding, that she had had issues with her email but that of course they knew it was nothing to do with me.

Then the next week, when partner mentioned it to DD1 she flat out refused ever mentioning me in relation to the emails... it's just too much.

@Onlywomengivebirth

Oh it doesn’t sound trivial at all. I’d be fuming.

Thank you. I'm so upset about it and find myself feeling so bloody angry too. How dare someone lie like that?

@BluebellsGreenbells

Ask your DH to speak to his solicitor to request proof. Not sure why else you can do really.

I know... one issue is that this report is confidential and to be honest, if it wasn't, I'd have just taken a copy to the police to prove I was being accused of something which is actually a bloody criminal offence.