Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book my own birthday where I want it?

52 replies

BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 11:18

Have a big birthday later this year.

I really want to go to a certain restaurant. They don’t allow children under a certain age, my own DD is over that age so can come with me.

Two of the invitees have children under that age, ones a single parent so will probably not come. Another is married and has family support but isn’t ready to leave their DC yet.

I have accepted that they probably won’t come but they’re also likely to be hurt that they aren’t able to come.

So WWYD? Book it or book somewhere else that I want to go to less just so they can bring their children?

For added context a mutual friend whose also invited is getting married after my birthday and we’re all in the wedding party so it could make things awkward.

OP posts:
SpiderVersed · 13/02/2022 15:59

Book where you like and tailor your invitees accordingly. have a wonderful time!

watchingrnfire · 13/02/2022 16:00

Well do you need to have them there? Why not just go with your mum aunts and cousin. If it's somewhere you really want to go for your birthday, do it, don't live in regret.
Or blame it on your mum, tell those friends your mum has already booked that restaurant, if they can't come you'll grab a coffee with them another time.

Original poster
BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 16:00

To add if the restaurant did allow under 5s I would have booked it and let them bring their children along, so it's not like I want to exclude them.

The restaurant doesn't let under 5s in at all, not sure why, I've been before when DD was younger without her though and it's a lovely atmosphere.

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/02/2022 16:04

''blame it on your mum, tell those friends your mum has already booked that restaurant''

I'd do that Grin If any of them ask: ''Oh my mum's got something lovely all booked up - going with auntie Rosalind and cousin Sam, ect ...''. Then change the subject.

Original poster
BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 16:06

@Laiste

''blame it on your mum, tell those friends your mum has already booked that restaurant''

I'd do that Grin If any of them ask: ''Oh my mum's got something lovely all booked up - going with auntie Rosalind and cousin Sam, ect ...''. Then change the subject.

@Laiste I think I might just go with this, shame as I wanted to do something including friends, but I want this restaurant so can't. Can't afford both.
OP posts:
GettingThemFromHereToThere · 13/02/2022 16:06

It depends how much you want to go there, over having those guests there.

It's your bday, and your call.

Original poster
BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 16:09

@GettingThemFromHereToThere

It depends how much you want to go there, over having those guests there.

It's your bday, and your call.

@GettingThemFromHereToThere I would like the bride there but don't feel I could invite her and her DD without inviting the others and their DC.

I could look around and see if any other venues have availability.

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/02/2022 16:19

When you look back at this big birthday will you be:

a) thrilled at the memory of you being at [add name of restaurant]

b) thrilled at the memory of having a meal with friend a, b and c and their kids.

Laiste · 13/02/2022 16:19

What is the restaurant anyway? :) Famous one?

Original poster
BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 16:21

Not a famous one, a small local one, been open about 15 years. I've been a few times but never since splitting with my H because my DD has not been old enough to come with me

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 13/02/2022 16:26

I would definitely book somewhere else and celebrate with more people.

I would then save up and go to the other place in a few weeks with your DD just for fun.

Laiste · 13/02/2022 16:28

Ah. I'd do the nice restaurant with your family and have a kiddy get together at pizza hut one weekend with the others. Or something. Let them blow out some candles for you there :)

Laiste · 13/02/2022 16:29

lol
completely the opposite of what wonderfulyou just posted! sorry.

Iwonder08 · 13/02/2022 16:31

Go with your close family and don't do another celebration. Nobody will be offended

CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/02/2022 16:33

I’d have an evening event with no DC.

Original poster
BirthdayWhereIWantorNot · 13/02/2022 16:38

@CrimbleCrumble1

I’d have an evening event with no DC.
@CrimbleCrumble1 I want my DD there though, and like I said if the restaurant let under 5s in I'd have no issue with it.
OP posts:
Pembertonrd · 13/02/2022 16:41

Could you do a tea party separately at your home with a bottle of Prosecco.
Something fun and inexpensive.

1FootInTheRave · 13/02/2022 16:41

I'd book somewhere else considering my own kid would be there.

Would always choose attendees over venue though.

Comefromaway · 13/02/2022 16:42

It’s a birthday not a wedding. Book the restaurant you want.

TabithaHazel · 13/02/2022 16:47

It's up to you of course, but if you want your friends there and it's not a child free event in general then it's a bit rubbish booking somewhere where you know their kids can't come but yours can. By booking somewhere where you know it would involve them either not coming or having to fork out for a babysitter gives the message you don't really want them there, so it seems a little pointless inviting them at all.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/02/2022 16:50

CrimbleCrumble1 I want my DD there though, and like I said if the restaurant let under 5s in I'd have no issue with it in that case I’d chose a different restaurant.

MiddleParking · 13/02/2022 16:58

I personally think it’s pretty rude to invite parents of five year olds to a celebration in a restaurant for which they’d need a babysitter to spend the evening with your seven year old. I can’t even really envisage what type of restaurant would be appropriate for a seven year old in the evening if it doesn’t allow under fives. I’d choose somewhere else.

Looubylou · 13/02/2022 17:03

Another vote for family only event, in your fave venue.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/02/2022 17:06

It's not fair to ask your friends to arrange childcare only so they can spend the evening with your child.

Inertia · 13/02/2022 17:07

Close family at restaurant .

Then a cheap get together at your house for friends for supermarket pizzas and drinks.

Swipe left for the next trending thread