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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this slightly irritating from colleague

46 replies

Cheesestring11 · 12/02/2022 22:25

It's in home care work. There is a lady in her 50s who's been in the job for quite a number of years, and she's good at what she does.

However she's started leaving notes in all the clients' houses telling the other carers what to do. She's not in a senior position to us at all.

She will leave notes saying 'You need to make sure you do X at every visit"

And has decided herself that Wednesday is X activity for X client, Thursday is X cleaning, etc.

The notes are at every home.

It's a little irritating, I just ignore them though, would you be bothered? She just doesn't have the right to do this

OP posts:
emsmar · 12/02/2022 22:31

Maybe stuff is being missed and she's making sure it's done. Try take the notes with positive intent. She obviously cares for her clients.

Carbiesdreamhouse · 12/02/2022 22:33

Write some back that are ridiculous. "Wednesday is ping pong at the local pub"

"Bins must be taken out in colour order"

SmolCat · 12/02/2022 22:38

Why are you ignoring them? If it benefits the clients then I can’t see anything wrong with it. I assume it means things don’t get missed and it’s a good way to provide routine and security for the people you’re visiting. I don’t know who your service users are but maybe ask them what they think of it.

You said yourself she isn’t senior but that been in the job for quite a number of years, and she's good at what she does.

Peakypolly · 12/02/2022 22:40

I suspect it is coming from a good place.
I know when I did a similar role, the service users would often say things such as 'the carer who visits on Friday always forgets xxxx.' Some of the time they were confused but often there were carers who weren't as knowledgeable of circumstances as others.Your colleague may be trying to reassure the service user that, for example, the Friday carer has been reminded.
If you find it upsetting I would mention it to your supervisor who can tell your colleague you are offended.

Bunty55 · 12/02/2022 22:42

@emsmar

Maybe stuff is being missed and she's making sure it's done. Try take the notes with positive intent. She obviously cares for her clients.
That is exactly what I thought
AlphabetStew · 12/02/2022 22:54

Odd that she's decided to start doing this all of a sudden. Could the notes be for herself? Or are they definitely addressed to other carers?

WTF475878237NC · 12/02/2022 22:57

Sounds like she is motivated to provide a good level of service and others aren't, otherwise she wouldn't have suddenly started doing this after many years.

SmolCat · 12/02/2022 22:58

@AlphabetStew

Odd that she's decided to start doing this all of a sudden. Could the notes be for herself? Or are they definitely addressed to other carers?
That’s a bit of a leap. Everything has to start at some point. You have a good idea and you act on it.
Octomore · 12/02/2022 22:58

@AlphabetStew

Odd that she's decided to start doing this all of a sudden. Could the notes be for herself? Or are they definitely addressed to other carers?
I don't think it's odd at all.

IME, people who are good at their jobs do this sort of thing when they notice that things are being missed. One of your colleagues (or you) is forgetting to do some of this stuff, and she's picking up on it.

Would you rather she went straight to the manager of the colleague who's not doing everything they should?

Luckymummytoone · 12/02/2022 23:04

Sounds like she’s hit a nerve!

Honeyroar · 12/02/2022 23:07

We have carers for my mum. She has three carers that rotate. The elder one does things like this two. As a client I think it’s good. Previously different carers were defrosting things and then the next cooked something else etc. Now it’s more coordinated.

RozHuntleysStump · 12/02/2022 23:09

Pay attention to the notes and stop complaining.

SweetFelicityArkright · 12/02/2022 23:40

Sounds very much like the reminders we get at handover at each shift change, do you have any way of handing over to the next shift other than the client notes?

And has she really decided that X day is X activity for the client, or is that what the client wants and she is feeding that to the rest of the team - because that's what you are, a team of people collectively caring for your clients.
A good carer will feed back client wishes to the rest of the team and act upon any issues about things being missed, to try and establish continuity of care for the client, that's not an exclusively senior role, it's part of the role of any carer.

I work in a home and often have a domestic, laundry or kitchen assistant tell me that a resident has asked for X to be done, or Y not to be. I'm less bothered about how I find out and more bothered about how I can achieve it for the client, it's called team work and it's essential for good care experiences for the clients. By ignoring the notes because she's not a senior, you're not working as part of the team.

If she's leaving notes saying that X needs to be done on every visit, is X in the care plan to be done every visit and not being done on every visit? If that's the case then senior or not, every or any carer that notices that the client is not having needs detailed in the care plan met has a duty of care to address that.
Although if it's not in the care plan, or the clients wishes that are documented then your duty of care says you should question that unless she has the authority to change the planned care on her own initiative.

Rather than writing it off as annoying and ignoring it, and getting hung up on who's senior to who, try engaging and working as part of a team for your clients - isn't that what you're there for?

Cabbagepie · 12/02/2022 23:59

I was very grateful when one of the regular carers did this for my mum. Some examples: make sure she had varied meals, not just the easy option if a sandwich every time, reminder to switch on the TV for a programme she liked to watch but would often miss because of her dementia, suggesting a regular Wednesday activity she used to do at the day centre before she was housebound, remember to put washing on everyday (it often used to pile up).

melj1213 · 13/02/2022 00:02

Do you not have a handover book that these "notes" could be left in? If you have a handover book then I would ignore these notes (as anything important should be in there anyway) but if not then perhaps this is the other carers way to ensure messages from the clients/their family are relayed to every carer, not just the one who is there at the time.

When we had in home carers for my grandparents there was a handover book that lived in the safe with my grandparents medications (they had to be locked up for my grandparents safety) so everyone knew where it was and could access it if needed - each carer would make a note of when they arrived, medication they had administered and anything important they felt the other carers needed to know - this included things from "Friday PM call: is having a tough day, she is very upset that nobody has been to visit her for days but as I arrived her daughter/son/grandchild was just leaving the house" or "Monday AM call: Used the last of the milk making breakfast, popped in while I was here and said she was going shopping so would bring milk and a few other bits round this afternoon" to "Saturday AM call: Have put some laundry in the machine, cycle takes a couple of hours so will just need switching to the dryer at lunchtime"

My grandparents both had forms of dementia and would have good days and bad days so it was important to know if they were particularly confused/upset/fixated on something on any particular day and also it meant that there was continuity of care and one central place for messages and comments to be left so that nothing got missed.

It also meant that if there was anything important we, as the family, wanted the carers to know, we could write it into the book and know that they had received the message and it just made it so much easier for everyone than notes and post it's that could be moved/lost/thrown away etc

betwixtlives · 13/02/2022 00:26

Yabu. She sounds great and like she really cares about the clients. Someone’s been slacking and she’s trying improve the care

driftcompatible · 13/02/2022 06:53

If it benefits the clients what is the problem? This isn't about YOU it's about the best care. She's trying to ensure that happens. Sounds like a proactive woman. Imagine complaining that someone is doing their job so well it's annoying you.

Butchyrestingface · 13/02/2022 07:08

It's a little irritating, I just ignore them though, would you be bothered? She just doesn't have the right to do this

Why do you ignore them? Is it bad advice she’s offering?

I’d be more inclined to wonder why she feels she needs to do this than bristle at her supposed “rights” or otherwise.

Polyanthus2 · 13/02/2022 07:08

Well it's a bit off - You don't just start leaving orders for your colleagues - not if you want to keep friendly.
She should be writing a fuller report in the clients note book eg Jessie has asked for this, or please leave a note of what frozen meal you used. Or instigate a way for this to be solved - perhaps managemnet could stretch to a note pad for meals to be written in, or a meeting with management to implement changes.

Whynotnowbaby · 13/02/2022 07:17

How do you usually communicate? Maybe it’s best to have a chat about why she feels that isn’t working, clearly you need to have some sort of communication amongst the caters otherwise it’s going to be pretty confusing for everyone concerned- not least the person you care for.

Anniegetyourgun76 · 13/02/2022 07:20

It sounds to me like she's listening to her clients needs and passing the information on so it's not lost and there's a consistency of care. This is exactly how I would assume carer's in these jobs would communicate. You said she's good at what she does so maybe you could learn something from her.

Beautiful3 · 13/02/2022 07:22

Things are obviously being missed, so she's trying to make things run smoothly for the client. As long as she has good intentions, what's it matter if she writes reminders to other carers.

pilates · 13/02/2022 07:26

Agree with pp she is being proactive which is a positive thing.

chiickenandchiips · 13/02/2022 07:30

What is the relevance to her being in her 50s?

Sounds like someone is slacking and the service user or their family has mentioned it.

Stop being offended and definitely don't ignore the notes, it is about making sure the person is receiving a high level of care not about bossing people about.

A few of my relatives have had home care and it's bloody stressful especially when there are 3/4 visits a day and often different staff through out the day. It takes a lot for some elderly people to trust strangers in their home and let go of chores etc. i would definitely appreciate a proactive member of staff making sure important information is passed on to the next team due in.

Littlegoth · 13/02/2022 07:36

Yep, sounds like things aren’t being done.

If you are ignoring the notes sounds like it’s still not being done.

I’m not sure it matters that she’s not senior to you. It matters more that the client is receiving high quality care. Sounds like one of you is providing that and one of you might need to consider why notes are being left for you.