How do I make the most out of time with my parents?

[Teadrinker11]

I'm 26 and in the last year the realisation that my parents are getting older really hit me. It's also made me extremely grateful to know they're both still around, I know people my age with a deceased parent and it's hard for them. Life has to go on, but it's still hard. My own mum and dad are in their 60s, which I know isn't even that old but I've realised I have no idea how to really enjoy time with them so in years to come I can look back with fondness and hopefully they're still around. We all try to have a family meal once a week or whenever we can, but I still feel like I'm not making the most out of my time with them. I'm 26 and still live at home, fairly embarrassing but financially I wouldn't have it any other way. I get on well with them but there's no guarantee at the moment when I see them during the week. I'm studying, they're working, I'm studying a night course so when I see them it's usually in the mornings or evenings. I feel like maybe I'm reading too much into this, I see them regularly, etc but it feels like that with how it took this long for it to sink in that they are getting older, as am I, that I don't know how to enjoy time with them, or how to give something back for everything they've done for me, and still do. I live rent free, have a warm bed every night, roof over my head, access to a shower / bath, food that I don't pay for, a delicious meal every night, etc etc. What do you think? I don't know how to give something back to them, I frequently help around the house, clean up after myself, but it doesn't feel like enough.

Maybe pay to take them on a mini break somewhere and go with them. I did this for their 70th birthday presents.

My DD is still a teenager, but the only thing I 'want' from her really, is her time. She can do my head in, but she is still the best company I could ever wish for and I revel in the time I have with her. My mum died years ago, and although we spent a lot of time together, it was not enough.

My best friend from uni climbed Carrauntoohil with her mum a few years back- only time either of them had been up it.

I lost my dad at 26 and my mum at 32 (still only 38 now). It makes me really happy that you want to make the most of them.

Would they be interested in helping you fill out a book of their life? I realised I know so little about my parents early life- their childhoods, Friendships, experiences, and now it's too late to ask any of that silly little stuff. Maybe going through photos with them etc.

Also just doing really silly things together- things that make you laugh and that you will remember in the future- my mum and I used to go to the supermarket and find rude shaped vegetables! Ridiculous really but it still makes me smile to think of it. It doesn't have to be a big expense.

My mum died when I was 25 (she was 52).
Things I wish I’d had the chance to do/do more with her:

• go on city breaks together
• go to theatre
• shopping days with a nice lunch
• curl up on the sofa to watch a movie
• have her meet my partner
• become a grandmother
• about 700,000 more things that would take too long to list!

Things I’m glad we did before she died

• told each other we loved each other every time we said goodbye. And meant it.
• never went to sleep on an argument
• laughed together
• cried together
• hugged each other every time we saw each other
• wrote each other letters

Ultimately, just enjoy each other’s company. Don’t try hard to make memories or “give something back”. My fondest memories of my mum are the impromptu ones, not the big event ones. Plus, chances are you’ve got decades ahead of you with them both.