Is this age gap ok

[Jaz9219]

I'm 29 and have recently started dating a lovely guy who is 41. We both have kids if that is relevant. A few friends have been surprised when I mention he is 41...

I think it sounds a lot because you're in your 20s and he's in his 40s if that makes sense, even though it's only 12 years. It'll sound less when you're 30!

It's fine, ignore your friends. If you are happy that's all that matters.

It's fine

@SmellyWellyWoo

I think it sounds a lot because you're in your 20s and he's in his 40s if that makes sense, even though it's only 12 years. It'll sound less when you're 30!

True. Only 3 months until I'm 30 😂

Are you happy? I'm 41 and my fella is 56 at the end of the month. Never been happier. I don't ask for opinions or accept any that are given unsolicited. I'm happy, he's happy, just go and be happy!

@Trinity69

Are you happy? I'm 41 and my fella is 56 at the end of the month. Never been happier. I don't ask for opinions or accept any that are given unsolicited. I'm happy, he's happy, just go and be happy!

Very happy

I think Smelly is right, it's the decades that make it sound lots. 30 and 42 sounds much less. 35 and 47 similarly.

I think the shared life experience - kids, separation etc count for more so if you like him, enjoy.

I have a male friend who's 11 years older, it def doesn't feel like we're too far apart in terms of interests etc.

12 years can be a lot if one is 18 and one is 30. But at 29 and 41, I don’t think it matters at all. You’ve both been adults for long enough to know who you are and for the relationship to be equal and healthy.

I think it is quite big, enough to be at different stages of life and potentially have a power imbalance (I'm 41 now and can see what a different position I'm in than I was at 29).

That said, you are both adults, and if it works for you it is fine.

It's absolutely fine OP, you're nearly 30, at your age it's not that big of an age gap IMO.

Up to you isn't it really. Tell them to shut up about it if if keeps coming up

What do they think is the problem exactly?

Thanks everyone. I'd not really thought about the age gap really until it was commented on. Bar one time I mentioned turning 30 this year and he told me he would have to trade me in for someone younger, I told him I would have to trade him in for someone older

It's fine, seriously. If you're happy and you treat each other well then that's all that matters.

You’re an adult woman. Any gap you’re happy with is fine.

I think it's fine - friends got married with similar age gap and are still very much together 3 kids and 14 years later!

12 years seems like nothing from where I'm standing (grappling with a 28 year age gap!)

It doesn't sound too much to me. As long as you're both happy I wouldn't worry what other people say or think. I'm 31 and my partner is 20 years older than me. I reckon its often one of those things people can make into more of a big deal from the outside. But we never really notice it in our relationship.