AIBU to stop 5-year-old Thumbsucking

[bowlingalleyblues]

DD is 5, and a continual thumb sucker, whether falling asleep, overnight, during the day watching tv or playing she is continually sucking her thumb with her finger hooked over her nose for grip. The dentist told us there are signs that her upper gum is being pulled forward and I can see it a bit myself.

So far I’ve tried a device that makes it harder to bend the arm and keep the thumb in, a cuddly toy as an alternative comforter, a star chart for wearing the device, but it’s had no real impact - she likes the toy and now has that PLUS thumb at bedtime. The arm device kind of works, but I need to cable tie it on or she just removes it. The sucking seems more frequent than ever. The only thing that worked was the yucky nail varnish. It stopped her sucking, but she became quite distressed at night because she couldn’t get to sleep without her thumb and although I’m a fairly hardened parent it upset me to see her in that state.

Her baby teeth will start to fall out in the next year and I am worried that I’m harming her teeth unless I force her to stop now so I’m thinking of doing the nail varnish again but just seeing it through to the bitter (no pun intended) end, although she is incredibly strong willed. BUT I’m also worried that I’m harming her emotionally if she is restricted from something that comforts and soothes her and helps her sleep. My DS had a dummy which faded out quite easily so this is new territory. I just don’t know what to do for the best.

YANBU it’s your duty as a parent to do all you can to stop her Thumbsucking and ruining her teeth.

YABU leave the poor girl alone, you’re doing more harm than good to interfere.

@WouldIBeATwat

Mine was sucking her thumb in the womb. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mine too! Shown on the 12 week scan.

She sucked her thumb til she was around 11, I think then she just stopped on her own.

She’s 14 now, perfectly straight teeth although I appreciate all kids are not the same.

I don’t know what the answer is, but feel sickened by the thought of some kind of device cable tied to her arm. I didn’t know there was even such a thing.

Mine was a thumb sucker too, but once she'd passed the baby stage, we were told to remove it every time she'd fallen asleep and she would then learn to remove it herself when she was asleep.
If I ever saw her doing it during the day I asked if she was tired and needed a nap, put her to bed if she carried on. She soon stopped

I don't see how restricting movement in her arm can be good for her developmentally. Surely it affects pretty much everything, climbing, running, balance, drawing, reaching, building or anything else she needs to use her arm muscles for.

I know my friend weaned her daughter off thumb sucking, letting her do it at night, but being rigourous about stopping her when playing, giving her lollies to suck when watching TV. Think you can get a glove/bandage thing for the thumb that would make it less enjoyable.

🏅 for you.

Not all babies will take a dummy. And dummies fall out/get lost whereas thumbs are always with them

Exactly that is why it is so important to get babies to use something for comfort that can be removed. Thumb sucking can be so damaging for teeth, yes some people are lucky and escape. I don't understand why as a parent you would be so passive about it and essentially roll the dice on your childs teeth just cause its easier for you as thumbs are always there.

The device is a licensed medical aid, she can still do everything one would want to do with a hand (it doesn’t touch the hand) and arm except get the thumb satisfyingly deep into the arm. It seems less invasive that screwing metal wires onto her teeth which I understand can be painful. sugar free lolly as a substitute might work, if I can get her to stop in the day that would be good as that’s when the hours and hours of sucking happen. I’m reassured that most people are saying they didn’t end up with badly damaged teeth. I had also heard that sometimes when baby teeth fall out children stop thumbsucking as they can’t get the same sensation from it.

Another childhood thumb sucker here, but unlike most of the ones on here I did end up with buck teeth. So I do think it’s worth trying to get her to stop.

@Lazypuppy

🏅 for you.

Not all babies will take a dummy. And dummies fall out/get lost whereas thumbs are always with them

Exactly that is why it is so important to get babies to use something for comfort that can be removed. Thumb sucking can be so damaging for teeth, yes some people are lucky and escape. I don't understand why as a parent you would be so passive about it and essentially roll the dice on your childs teeth just cause its easier for you as thumbs are always there.

Circumstances.

We did try DD with dummies but she was having none of it. I was completely on my own with DD for all but 1 day of the week as her dad worked away. I exclusively expressed so had to set alarms every 3 hours through the night to express regardless of when DD fed. I couldn’t have managed the additional broken sleep of having to keep putting dummies in as well. I am/was very child led in my parenting, and thumb sucking seemed a more natural thing than dummies to me (and I was already having to replace my nipples with plastic ones to get her fed).

She’s 11 now with strong adult teeth coming through and no signs of permanent damage or misalignment. Having congenitally fewer teeth myself, and issues with enamel strength that have needed treatment for the past 30odd years I’m thrilled that she has inherited her father’s teeth (in strength and number) rather than mine. He had braces despite not thumb sucking. I didn’t. Time will tell if DD needs braces. She has a gap at the front due to an upper lip tie but nobody is at all worried about that. If she ever wants to sort that out we will support her to do so.

Ironically my dad had 3 full sets of teeth and my sister had to have a lot of extra teeth removed in adulthood (she had extra teeth that had grown into the roof of her mouth) so again, not being able to know what was actually going to unfold in DD’s dental future, thumb sucking really was the least of my worries.

As I say, circumstances. There’s plenty up there I’m sure you’ll judge, but they were our choices and I remain happy with them.

My dc4 was an avid thumb sucker. Even in the womb I suspect as he had hiccups a lot!

At 7 the dentist had the same concerns about his teeth.
Dc4 had his eye on a particular Lego set, so we decided to aim for that as an incentive to stop the thumb sucking.
We used fabric plasters on his thumb, we had to be really on it for about 4 weeks. Replacing them when he'd had a bath, washed hands etc.

He was really determined to do it too (really wanted the Lego set) and it worked. Quite a gentle team effort, including him. Just the texture of the plaster on his lips prompted him to remove his thumb from his mouth even when he was sleepy.

He has beautiful teeth now at 11, actually better than my dc3 who didn't thumb suck or have a dummy, she will definitely need braces shortly.
Good luck x

Me and my sister's all sucked our thumbs as young kids and my parents used to dip our hands in 'nail the habit' every day and we stopped almost as quickly as we started. None of us are scarred for life. The idea of it thumb sucking disgusts me now!! It does wreck your teeth and there's no benefit to thumb sucking in the long run. I remember a kid at school who used to suck their thumb and everyone took the piss of her and her teeth. She needed a brace at a really young age to correct the mess it made of her. I think her parents were pretty negligent to let it go on like that.

Ex thumbsucker here, with naturally straight teeth (much to the disgust of my sister who did not thumb suck and had to get braces).
I stopped naturally at 6/7. I think you're being to anxious. The arm brace sounds horrific.
My DC like dummies, again had the 'chat' from the dentist, as he could 'tell' but DC gave those up by 6/7 too. And, yes have perfect teeth.

It can ruin their teeth. We have 4 thumb suckers. 1 stopped fairly easily, 1 is only a baby and the other 2 will need braces around 12/13.

Oh and I tried to give the baby dummies because of the teeth issues but she wouldn't take them. At 5 month she found her thumb.

3 kids. 2 thumb suckers (one stopped at 10, other has neatly stopped and into teens) have straight teeth. Kid who never sucked thumb or had a dummy - full braces.

Not worth the hassle in my opinion.

I was a thumb sucker until my mid teens, but only at home by that age. 30 years later I have one wonky tooth that has never been wonky enough for braces.

My dd was also a prolific thumb sucker, but hers was her right had only. Age 6 she somehow managed to get her thumb in the way of the closing car door and ended up from thumb-tip to wrist in bandages for a couple of weeks. Never went back to thumb sucking, she said the left one never felt right anyway.

*I don't suggest shutting your kid's hand in the car door but cable tying her arm up is similarly draconian.

Both my kids sucked their thumbs from birth. My eldest gave up naturally at about 4yo. My youngest is nearly 10yo and still going. We tried these fabric thumb guards which worked initially but she's lapsed back into the habit. We'll try again

The dentist did say that she'll probably need a brace anyway as she's got a slight cross bite so we're sort of resigned to that.